BRA Chix Bulletin

KOMO spot for early detection

2010-07-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

Entered a video contest for early cancer detection and won 3rd place! There were only 3 entries, but still it was a thrill. We reshot the video at KOMO studios in Seattle and it will air during The Doctors show on channel 4 at 11:09 a.m. Tuesday 7/20. It's not a smiley piece and is only 30 seconds, but it gets the point across that cancer can be a pause; and not the end. I feel awkward being called a cancer survivor because my path was so innocuous compared to others who survive the experience. But surviving is surviving regardless of the circumstances. ;-P

ABC lullaby

2010-01-14T12:38:00.000-08:00

In a fit over circumstances beyond my control, I began a sleepless night with the idea to find a word to ponder beginning with each letter of the alphabet. This was partly to refocus my brain and partly to keep from pummeling the garbage disposal sound emanating from my life partner and soul mate also known as Sir Sure SnoresALot. When I awoke, groggy, the next morning, I thought "You may be onto something here." So, as part of my resolution (resolution also means to make clearer by increasing focus/detail, see) I pick a word a day to focus effort and intentions on living the full meaning of the word and see where the road takes me.

The first day was ACCLIMATE - be more flexible and realize that I do not have to control the world and it will continue to function. Day 2 was BALANCE - more of the same, today is CONTEMPLATE CONSEQUENCES - how will this action or inaction affect other situations? By posting as my status in Facebook, each day I am held accountable (another good A word, by the way - didn't think of it at 3 a.m.). For the next 23 days it will be an interesting journey... Do I know the words already or do I pick them on the fly? A little of both. I have some words that I choose for their alliteration, their diverse meanings, and the level of tranquility their contemplation achieves. An OM moment, such that it is.

When I was awake that first night, the list was: Amusement, Balance, Coexistence, Destined, Empathy, Fundamental, Graciousness/Generosity, Honor, Inspiration, Jeopardize, Kindred, Loquacious, Methodology, Namaste, Opportunity, Presence, Quintessential, Rhapsody, Strive, Tenacious, Unity, Wonder, Youth and Zealous. I found many to be qualities I admire in others, some I wish to see more often in myself and many are just appealing to my ear and provide opportunity to turn them over in thought through many incarnations and meanings.

Must admit it was more interesting than counting sheep.
Peace, grace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Wrapping up the year

2010-01-05T20:55:00.000-08:00

So we had Christmas and a two week break from school, work, carpools and everything providing structure in my life and the house was moderately clean and the laundry was moderately done and I was into a few books and feeling kind of out of sorts after putting the Christmas stuff away when I ran across my grandmother's crochet hooks. Hmm, what can I do with these? Stuff them up my nose? Cornrow Joe's hair? Torment the boys and the cat? Learn to crochet? Huh, where did that come from and then a few YouTube vids, a few books from the library, a few costly trips to the craft store and Bob's your uncle I'd crocheted a prayer shawl. Who'd have thought?

I think it came from the feeling of having the needle of my compass is still missing when I feel the void left by my grandmother's passing. Yes, it was in 2004, but that's beside the point. When we were sorting out her craft materials, I took the lion's share not because they were valuable but because she had held them and used them to create items for others. They hold her prayers, her thoughts, her breath, her presence. I kept her cookie jar and stew pot. When Dan uses it to cook, I feel like he's invited Gigi to join us.

The year wasn't a total wash. We got a new administration, a new first family, and one of the boys figured out the school game - pray for the other one, we all kept our jobs and helped others who lost theirs, we've had opportunities for growth, learning, sharing, caring and fun. No big tragedies and no major challenges, just same old plugging along doing the same old things. Not much for excitement, but I can take my excitement few and far between.

Here's to continued good health for all (including our health care reform bill), recovery for the economy and continued goodwill among all people for the duration of the year.

Peace, grace and blessings.
Michelle ;-P

November already?

2009-11-12T16:32:00.000-08:00

What's on the agenda this week? Pull together a basket raffle at church in 10 days?! Blood/lab test for check up next week, (no, I haven't lost the requested 25 lbs., grumble), keep up with kid's homework, plan T-day dinner menu and schedule time to clean house, Xmas shop w/o impacting budget, work and anything else you'd like me to juggle while I'm at it? A few chain saws, maybe, just to make it interesting?

Hard to believe it has been 18 months since the colon cancer was detected and removed, but it has. Read an article last weekend that a controversial acne medication (Accutane) I took at 19-20 is now attributed to bowel disease. Could it be related to my cancer? Should I submit my case to a class action atty.? Unknown, but exploring the options. It would almost be reassuring that a medication caused it rather than something wacky in my genetic system, but I doubt it would be anything that would make me independently wealthy. Then again, who knows, would it be more worthwhile to be able to have full public disclosure or to be paid to keep quiet and what exactly is my silence worth? Interesting moral question...

Back to the doc visit... No symptoms to worry about, no big weight loss to report, but no great gains either, so we're hanging tough. Doc visit should be uneventful next Thursday but positive thoughts never hurt. Mom and I will go Xmas shop for boys after at Northgate, just like old times.

Lighter notes - Joe has been saving for months to buy an electric guitar. He also had to maintain a 3.5 GPA or better through the first grading report and have no missing assignments - WIN! Yesterday was Guitar Center day. He spent 3 hours there by himself with all of his $ in the world and came home with a beautiful candy apple red Ibanez guitar which is his new pride and joy. It plugs into a jack in our stereo system and he can play along with his favorite songs or just jam on his own. Nice to see a 14 yo boy jazzed about something good for a change. Of course, his Xmas list has all sorts of things like a tremolo bar, guitar case and such on it. So, I'm going to be spending lots of time and $ at guitar center this season, I can tell.

So off to plan and save and scrimp and indulge and all the usual chaos of life or something like it.
Peace, Blessings and grace!
Michelle

Return from Cursillo

2009-10-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.olycursillo.org/

This is the link to find more information about the 3-day weekend event I attended recently. I'm not going to go all born-again new agey, but there are significant differences in place since I returned. The world is more vibrant, people are craving connection, songs on the radio are prayers if you listen hard enough and the face of God is everywhere - in a stellar jay on the deck rail, in the cashier at Safeway, in the woman next to you at the doctor's office and in your own family, spouse, children - yes, really, look hard...

Overall, on the weekend there were parts I really got into and parts I was not so hot about. Singing songs of praise, for someone who cannot hold a tune in a bucket - is moderately torturous; but having the opportunity to sing as a group at a new child's baptism was priceless. Having deep philosophical discussions like we used to have in college (without having to throw people in the showers to sober up) was something I had been missing for years. We just don't get that opportunity as women very often. The first night we were in a devotion of silence (me, silent for 12 hours...) and it was an adjustment. As I lay in bed the first night thinking "what am I supposed to get out of all this?" The message I got LOUD and CLEAR was "BE here, that's all." That I can do as I have no car, no wallet, no cell phone, and I'm in Olympia where I know no one.

The next morning we were awakened at 0 dark 30 and invited to break our silence after morning prayer and Eucharist. If we dressed quickly we were allowed to have tea or coffee in the sanctuary, so God and I had peppermint tea together. This could be the start of a new habit. But the morning prayer and silence has got to go, I'd not make a good Carmelite nun. We won't even get into the celibacy, obedience or poverty. We celebrated the Eucharist and were released from our silence! As one woman in the pew ahead of me said, "Oh good, I was going crazy with my own thoughts." Many of us were thinking the same thing. Our kitchen crew put on quite a spread from mini quiches to scones to oatmeal, yogurt, fruit and juices as well as the welcome coffee! We had the opportunity to get to know our table mates. I have always found this difficult, until I spied one woman's opal ring - "What a beautiful ring. Is there a story behind it?" became my conversation opener for the rest of the weekend.

We broke out into table groups by assignment and discussed many topics over the next two days about talks presented by persons among us on piety, prayer, faith, grace, sacraments, etc. After some discussions, we were encouraged to come up with a drawing that illustrated our concepts gathered from the talk and discussion. For example, after the talk about study we were asked to create a license plate to illustrate the talking points. Our group came up with PAGEMS - digging for gems among the pages of the Bible. We had a gifted artist at our table who came with her own materials and abilities we used freely - some of us are conceptualists and others can actually draw! We were the table of St. Bega a Celtic saint who fled to Northumberland to escape an arranged marriage and lived out her life in pious acts. Some days that idea would be appealing.

We had lunch breaks to socialize and a long break in the afternoon I used to walk with some of the women one-to-one and there were several 2x4 between the eyes moment when something would just pop into my head without conscious thought about it. I haven't yet processed all of them and need to do that before I can put them into words.

The biggest nugget I received from the weekend is overwhelming sense of being loved and cared for by the women on the team and by God. The second was that I don't have to do everything - I need to find what fits my ideal and pare away things that I have no time talent or passion for. That is going to be hard to make happen, but I can see that in order to keep a reserve for the things I want to do, it is necessary.

GRACE, Peace and Blessings! ;-P
Michelle

Autumn vs. Fall

2009-10-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

When it comes to fall, I prefer the word autumn. It rolls around the palate like a smoky brandy, coaxing images of vibrant scarlet, merlot, burgundy and an occasional golden chardonnay array of leaves emerging when the sugar supplies are compromised by cold temperatures. The changing colors dangle like earrings from the branches of free-formed sculptures briefly until their connection to the stem is severed by a crisp overnight chill and they twirl and drift to the forest floor below. Leaving behind striking postures of twigs, branches, blight, knots, abandoned bird nests that give each tree structure, feature and often if viewed long enough, a face.

Dropped leaves provide the smell of autumn – overripe blackberry, mingled with ashy decomposing loamy leaves, the minty crispness of the air and faint hints of burning wood from fireplaces inhaled during lingering walks in the woods to view nature’s spectacle. The blanket of fallen leaves give nutrients for the hibernating plants below and the sound of walking through fallen leaves evokes a sense of childish wonder, some regret that summer has passed, and anticipation of the celebration of holidays that center our yearly traditions.

Snuggling deep into polar fleece, lovingly knit keepsake wool, cozy knit sweaters to ward off the chill that pinks cheeks and cracks the delicate skin of lips, the view is breath-taking. The final reaches of sunlight arrive before we think they should in time dissolving into a delightful palette of changing sunset hues – lavender, fuschia, rose, periwinkle, hyacinth, daffodil – reminders of the spring buds seen so briefly. As time evolves to sneak us into waking earlier and spending less time hibernating comfortably, as minds and bodies are drawn against nature.

Fall by comparison is, and always will be, a verb of varying capacities. Fall is not fallen into; it is jumped into with both feet, as jumping into a pile of raked leaves. We fall in love, fall off a swing, fall down stairs or off the wagon. Fall is never the gentle description of some passing without consequence. Fall is dramatic and life-changing and full of power and takes time from which to recover. Fall is a childish word used in essays and composition and poetics in the classroom because it breeds action and thought and memory. After all, what rhymes with autumn?

2009MDM 10-8

Pumpkin Bread recipe

2009-10-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

This may be a record of three entries in one week. I feel like such an over-achiever, but the bloom will fade once I'm back on normal schedule next week, so don't get too used to it. My cousin Janelle sends me recipes from time to time and this arrived on 10/01 and was just beggin to be baked yesterday. It's going to be delivered to 4 pals today because if I eat it all myself, I'll be back in the bad graces of my doc. Anyway, the recipe is here in it's entirety, I noted the tweaks I made in it, and it's very moist and good with tea on dreary mornings.

Coconut Pumpkin Nut Bread
Ingredients:
3.5 C all-pupose flour
2 C packed dk brown sugar
2/3 C white sugar
1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
1 C veg oil (or I substitute 1/2 c. applesauce and 1/2 c. oil)
2/3 c. coconut milk (in the ethnic aisle of most grocery stores)
2 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1 t. ground nutmeg
1.5 t ground cinnamon
2/3 c unsweetened flaked coconut (I substituted sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds)
1 cup chopped walnuts

*I added 1/4 c. ground flaxseed to flour

Heat oven to 350. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Combine all ingredients but coconut and walnuts until well blended. Fold in coconut and walnuts. Pour into prepared pans. Bake for 1 hour and 15 mins using toothpick test to desired doneness. Remove from oven and cover tightly with foil and allow to steam 10-15 minutes. Remove foil and cool on baking rack. Fabulous with peanut butter and a cup of tea! ;-P

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Rambo = Superman?

2009-10-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

Had my birthday yesterday and my in-laws' check brought a manicure and pedicure into my near future. In south King County, the proprietors are mostly SE Asian at all the local nail salons. I popped into one near our Lowe's thinking "how much business would be attracted here for this service?" I can't see my local contractor coming in for a nail fill and polish change, eyebrow wax or "manscaping", but I digress...

We got into the business of my raggedy toes and the tech asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I asked her which of the movies was her favorite and she said "RAMBO." I shrugged, never seen it, heard it was really violent and asked her "Are you a Stallone fan?" She replied, "It has great picture of Viet Nam and surrounding lands." Cinematography? OK, I'm in. She started the movie and yes, it is horrifically violent. Since we were the only two people in the salon, I asked her if the depiction of the actions of the Viet Cong army was accurate as far as she knew. she nodded and said "I saw it as a child. We hid in rice paddies, the jungle, tunnels and caves."

At that point, I ventured that I was sure we had made munerous mistakes and that I didn't think we were right in most military decisions. We delved into the most fascinating conversation about politics, American policy in Viet Nam and the way the Vietnamese see the Rambo character similar to our concept of the hero in a Western or Superman. It is depicted as they WISH it would have turned out - with "an army of one" of the rescuers staying after his tour was over to disseminate who was telling the truth, who was helping the Vietnamese and who was blatantly lying to the world powers and wreaking vengeance on the perps. I'm sure there were those that did and were forsaken by their government and considered lost in more ways than one by their families.

The people were never sure of the intention of Americans they encountered because some had been ambushed by VC, were on drugs, mentally war-shocked or just depraved. When there was a humanitarian or relief effort troop to come through, no one was sure they could be trusted. There was no one to ask for help and no one to rescue the civilians living in constant fear, mistrust and despair.

In the course of our discussion we were joined by a woman from Thailand and one from Laos and their added perspectives were wholly enlightening. When I shared the ages of my boys 11 and 14, all three women said they would have been taken from us and forced into military service or killed, if they resisted or ran away. Kids were often sent first into mine fields to trigger the claymores set by other troops. I would have been killed, violated or pressed into service in supporting the armies. The Vietnamese/Laotian family fled into Laos with the clothes on their back and all the money they had in the world and started over with nothing after paying bribes to stay, often over and over to the same people/warlords/gangs. The Thai lost contact with many family members and has never heard from them again - presumed dead.

I need to explore this subject further, I'm fascinated with the exchange we had. I've always felt as an outsider in nail salons, I felt like we were having a UN discussion. Our history books seem to have been edited by military retirees. I went in for spiffy nails and emerged with lots to think about. When I shared with the boys later, their eyes widened at what their roles would have been. Once again, I come to realize we are blessed at the time and place of our birth.
PEACE and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

I know it's September - but we've been busy

2009-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

So much for my idea of regular entries, but we've been blissfully busy with visiting family from all over the US, new homework curriculum, errands, raising boys, church, housework and all the usuals that everyone else in the world also deals with. In other words, I really don't have a good reason for no entries, just many feeble excuses.
On the high notes of the past few weeks, went to Poppy on Capitol Hill with some dear BRA Chix and it was a hoot - a comedy of errors, but a hoot just the same. An overpriced culinary experience, but a comedy of errors. An experience for our memory books, but a hooting comedy of errors. From the delay in our reservation to $10 watermelon mojitos to the store next door with the really "eclectic clientele" to just being in Capitol Hill with two moms from Maple Valley and Issaquah - an experience, the eyes were as big as saucers.
Much giggles, lots of jabber and 3.5 hours to get all of our yakking in while our dinner was delayed and our appetites grew immense. So much for savoring the culinary experience - I inhaled dinner when it arrived and after two glasses of champagne and a mojito on an empty stomach was doing good to remember where we parked.
We traveled to Ellensburg last weekend and had the opportunity of sitting in road construction backups for 3 hours. We developed the game of "what's up with that?" Where you view something odd (usually in the back of a pick-up) and develop a back story. For example, we spied a black Ford 150 pick up with six taxidermied deer heads in the bed, three plastic garbage cans, a snowboard, a TV (not plasma or flat screen), an over-sized cooler and a snowboard. My son guessed "He must be a taxidermist." The next son guessed he was moving. Husband Dan pegged the snorter with "He looks recently divorced - as in like about an hour ago. His ex said 'Here's all your stuff in the garbage cans, get those stinking deer heads outta my double-wide and take the snowboard you got me for our last anniversary. You can have the TV in the bedroom too. Because I'm nice.' " We're coming up with lyrics to a country song on our next road trip. Who says travelling with the Meekers is not an adventure?
We hit the Puyallup fair and the boys brought Dan's helmet cam to film some ride footage. Joe spent about $25 trying to get an electric guitar by ringing a beer bottle with a plastic ring. And we explored the culinary wonders of the Fair. And toured the Brain with Weird Al as our guide. Enough for one day, I think.
In the coming weeks, mom turns 42, escapes for a retreat weekend in Olympia with no Y chromosomes about and then another family escape to Hood Canal for a weekend of wine, rest and relaxation at a cabin on the beach! I've been craving beach time for months so really looking fwd to that one! All is well with health, the weight is not dropping by leaps and bounds, but it is no longer increasing, so all is well. Need to get to the gym and cement that habit this week with some sweat and effort, so will check in again soon.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle

Summer 2009

2009-07-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

Nick is relearning cursive in preparation for his 6th grade college prep curriculum new school and HATING it. He's raking me over the coals daily about 5 lousy pages and whining to beat the band. But I am persevering and being CONSISTENT. My thought is this process may teach him not to procrastinate and if he gets his work done well and promptly, his time is his own. If he chooses to learn it, he'll be well ahead of the game.

Which brings us to my other model prisoner, Joe is spending his summer surfing YouTube endeavoring to write something to videotape and post and is stuck in the development phase. He is getting dragged to the gym with me on occasion and finds it amusing, mostly. Filmed one sequence of 1st Day at the gym but hasn't posted it yet. He did OK on grades this year, got by on the skin of his teeth. He is doing better than Nick at getting his job list for the day done so he can let his brain cells ooze out in front of the computer for the rest of his day.

Overall, I'm trying to stick to my goals of eating more whole food, getting daily exercise/activity and not the boys out no matter how much I'd like to from one day to the next. We've done a few fun things, EMP, parks, beaches, picnics. Dan is taking BOTH boys to Grand Coulee next weekend, so that will give them some major bonding time in an enclosed vehicle (not my idea of fun) and they will both take their required summer reading books to distract them from buggin each other. And I get two days of momming to boot!!

So much for ambitious goals

2009-06-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a week, month, year. Today marks one year since our family trip to SD, a mere year and three weeks after my semi-colon surgery. The boys are out of school for the summer, one needs to relearn cursive writing over the summer and is busting my chops about it daily. The other made b's and c's for grades by the skin of his teeth, or mine. So, now it's summer with days of "he's been on the computer for two hours, it's my turn now." THIS is why summer is only 8 weeks long. Kids would not survive if it were longer.

It has been a crazy week with the loss of Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, it's kind of like remembering where you were when Elvis (supposedly) expired. At least the focus is off the Jon and Kate scandal for a milisecond. The summer will be spent helping pals who are facing big challenges this year. We have one pal whose job was eliminated JUST before she went in for major shoulder surgery (medical coverage extended, graciously) and another who goes in for extensive breast biopsy after July 4. So while last year I was benefitting from support from others; this year will be necessary to complete the karmic circle and give support as needed. Thankfully, I've adjusted job to accommodate and if it turns out to be moot, I'll have more family time to "enjoy" with the boys. May require medication or mediation, but we'll hope the trips to the gym help. So far, I've lost only 6 pounds (or less depending on the mood of my scale) but almost 12" overall in a month of conscious eating and focused exercise.

I've been taking a week off to regroup, refocus and recommit before getting back on track and juggling the new schedule to see where planning, exercise, support strategies are all supposed to fit in again. Change is good and this change is long overdue and will have far-reaching effects on my mind, body and spirit. So far daily exercise and food journaling are the big secrets for me.
Welcome to come along for the ride.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

And the results are in (don't worry, it's good)!

2009-05-18T13:24:00.001-07:00

"No cancer cells detected in biopsy sample." I had the nurse read it twice, so I got the words right. No colonoscopy for... three years (unless I am symptomatic), and my oncologist said I'm good to go for six months until he runs my labs again, but he would like to see me lose 20-30 pounds - and I didn't kick him. I see him again in November just before T-day, that being as good a time as any. Don't know what they biopsied, but it was nothing to write home about, probably some gum I swallowed 20 years ago.

The proactive lifestyle begins now. I had a year to be reactive and stumbled along through it mostly until about last October, so now I'm calling the shots and it will be more healthy and less sedentary; more whole foods and less proccessed; more quality and less quantity... of course after tonight's celebratory Krispy Kreme's are gone, which should be about 10 minutes after Joe arrives home. The boys and Dan may be looking to be adopted.

Thanks for the support, prayers, hugs, warm fuzzies, etc. And if you think this means the forced retirement of the BRA Chix, no way! Now, our new mission is the creation of anecdotal evidence of just how cracked we are in the process to get in shape, more fun and frolic and less time spent in and around hospitals. AMEN!

Peace and BLESSINGS! ;-P
Michelle

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

2009-05-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not even a big Tom Petty fan, but this song has been running through my mind all week. I tried distractions, staying busy, exercising, cooking for others with challenging times approaching, and still at 3:00 a.m., there is the thought, "So, what is this?" Having the chased by animals dreams like I had when first diagnosed, but instead of bears; it's bears one night and gorillas the next, go figure.

Was chatting with a pregnant friend this week and we are both in the same boat. I'm waiting for pathology report to come back and she's waiting for her "egg to hatch". Both are hoping for uneventful deliveries of both items. I called the endoscopy clinic to see if the report was in, and it is; so they transferred me to a charge nurse "who could go over the results with me." When she came on it was obvious she was reading the report as we spoke and she said that until the doctor who performed my colonoscopy has read it, they can't release any info. "Is she there to read it?" I asked. "No, she has left for the day." At 3:00?!?!? With a pathology report on her desk?!?!? "Can I get a hint? Are the words 'not cancer' in there? Will my oncologist have the report in time for our appt Monday MORNING?!?!?" Frustration factor was high.

So I did yard work, helped a neighbor girl get her bike chain unstuck and went to dinner with my boys and Aunt Mindy. Then I made the mistake of watching part of the Farrah Story. It was depressing and irritating - mostly that Jacklyn Smith has aged better than Kate Jackson... No, really, unlimited resources to travel the world after cures not available to most people. Designer clothes and first-class travel right after liver tumor ablation, sick as a dog (OK that is similar to everyone else's experience). The one thing it did RIGHT for me is I've decided the pity party is over. Today I do not have cancer, if this changes on another day I'll take the steps necessary to deal with it. For today, I'm healthy, I feel good and I can do what I need to be healthy, have fun with my boys and attend to the many tasks at hand.

I'll let you know when I know, as usual.

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

1 year, already?

2009-05-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy month, which accounts for no posts this month. What a difference a year makes - on the good side I'm exercising regularly, eating somewhat better than I have in the past and the system seems to be in "good chi" - balance. Every Monday in May, I had a step in the process of 1 year survivor checkups to complete. Blood work at the cancer center, a lovely double colonoscopy prep and procedure with two doses of "happy drugs" - I don't even remember getting dressed to leave the clinic and Dan's been messing with me that he let me walk out w/o pants. I'll get him back in 5 years. The final step in that process is next Monday when I meet with the oncologist to decipher all the data and see where my path leads me from here.

On a sad note, the night before my colonsocopy, I attended a memorial service for a pal from high school. Matt was a kid who was larger than life and had many factors counting against him, divorce, ADD, hearing loss, learning disabilities. He could have used his imposing size and these excuses to be the class bully. Instead he was the class teddy bear. He had an amazing gift for uniting kids in our class who existed on the fringes of the social stratum, giving us nicknames to unite us in his family of friends.

Even in his death, I was connected to friends of Matt by facebook as we planned his memorial at our high school chapel. That is a heck of a legacy, to be able to unite people even when you are no longer living. Eternal peace to you Mattie and many blessings on your family and children.

The day after my procedure, I attended a tea party fundraiser for the American Cancer Society at Salty's. We heard from a mom whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer who took that diagnosis and founded a non-profit research organization to focus on pediatric brain cancers. We were also addressed by the chaplain from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, herself a breast cancer survivor - presented with just the right blend of humor, faith and fact. Her book "It's
Not About the Hair" originated from her emails keeping people up to date on her progress, sound famliar? Of course, my family at the table said, "You could do the same thing!" Yes, but would that be beneficial to the greater good and be a step forward in my healing. Something to think about and consider, but I am still sorting through the rocks and gold nuggets in the baggage that I have resulting from this long strange trip. I guess the biggest would be that the more people you share a burden with, the lighter it is to carry. With enough love, humor and faith, all things are bearable and work out as they are intended.

Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

It's Spring and that means Birds and Bees

2009-04-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

Birds and bees? Who coined that phrase? We had some minor incidents lately that made me sense the need to have a "CHAT" with the boys was necessary. Where do you start? Well, we ended up starting in the middle because with one boy just 11 and one almost 14, the interests and development is in different time zones.

I started by going to my library for research on what was avaialble and ended up with 15 rather graphic book titles in my possession. My 11 yo was VERY selective in what he would carry out of the library and "needed a bag". After weeks of review and getting the pants scared off me a few times - "chicken parties," "Sexting," "Rainbow" games in middle schools. If you don't know what these are, google them. Our teens are more likely to catch an STD than get pregnant, many of which can cause infertility if not treated. And teens will be quiet about symptoms thinking we'll overreact that they are sexually active. Things have changed in big ways since our days.

After reviewing books, I have 3-5 to recommend by age ranges.
For ages 8-11 It's Perfectly Normal - Robie;
For 12-15 The Guy book: an owner's manual for teens (written like a car owners manual - 14yo found it amusing AND informative) he shared with me some of the amusing parts as convo starters, so that was a plus.

One fact that I read that has stuck with me is this. We think moms should talk to girls and dads should talk to boys. Speaking to the opposite sex parent about these issues gives them practice for when they talk to a potential mate about these delicate topics; and discussion is key before any further activity happens. So while that may be a plus or a minus, the figures are that boys who have discussions with their mothers are more likely to put off having sex than boys who only talk to their dads. I don't know what the dads are saying, but it seems mom has more effect here (as usual).

For parents, What Every 21st century Parent needs Know (from the author of From Diapers to Dating, and The Big Talk also good books recommended by a mom/teacher/counselor pal) - I like her format and writing style; The real truth about teens from hooking up to friends with benefits - written by an editor of Seventeen well-written, kind of scary but very factual. (I was shocked by some of the things in the current issue of Seventeen), realistic and timely, but still a wake up call for me.

For Moms with Boys - the Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality; male writer guy perspective, good backgorund info. for us mom's who feel out of the loop.

For kids 15-20 SexSmart: 501 reasons to hold off on sex - good for those what "would you say/do if" opportunities. I also found the 5 Love Languages of Teenagers helpful because those languages change as the kids age and it make sense to reevaluate from time to time.

Hope you find my research helpful to share. I found a few books that weren't worth my time or energy and sent them back. I was looking for basic, easily presented information on both sexes without ramming convictions, morals or hang-ups that was presented respectfully and informatively to let the kids process information and open discussions. I also wanted books that tackled tough and uncomfortable issues - self-exploration, homosexuality, pornography, etc. I think all of these books do that on a variety of levels.

Initially, I hoped to scare the pants on my boys past he age of 25. Now I just want them to have accurate information and parents who have informed them to the best of our ability. I am hopeful that our example, willingness to teach, listen and love will make more of an impression than the media messages they are bombarded with in the world each day.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

Movie Madness

2009-04-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Call me old school, but I like my movies to entertain, not make me think about the plight of the world or make me regret spending the admission for something that is not even entertaining. If I want to learn, I read or listen to NPR. Movies are for escape, what was the only industry not to suffer during the 1930s? The movie industry - but it also cost about $.10 to see a movie then too. I saw Slumdog Millionaire last evening and spent much of it traumatized, which I guess was the point. This won Best Picture? When did the criteria slip to shock and revulsion at America from entertainment? When I got home explained it as part Quiz Show, part Pulp Fiction, part Passion of Christ and part Born in Brothels. About accurate? Earlier in the week I described The Curious Case of Benjamin Button as part Forrest Gump, part Legends of the Fall and part Grumpy Old Men. I did enjoy the "Did I ever tell you I've been struck by lightning 8 times," guy.

Over the last week, I have seen 3 movies. For some reason, I've been on a movie fix for the past several months. Maybe it's because I discovered a rare find in Federal Way $1 and $2 admissions to movies that are new to me. I was always a big fan of the family run small theater who gave their public a break in the wallet department. Since I rarely see them on opening weekends and usually am 2-3 years behind the general public on my Netflix list. In the past month I've seen Australia, Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire and then went into shock at paying $10/person to be tortured with Aliens and Monsters in 3-D - all the boredom, all the yawning coming right at you all the time. I'm tired of the "I'm a beautiful butterfly!" in every kid's animated feature to alleviate the nobody dies in kid's features.

I'm going to be looking for a comedy in the future until I'm good and ready and look at all the spoilers. Now I'm shocked, Oprah is twittering during her show. It's one thing for me to surf and watch half-heartedly, it's quite another for her to twitter while producing her show - the nerve! I guess I'm ranting today, time for a chill pill.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

80s prom for Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk 4/11/09

2009-04-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

Pal Mindy told us about a FUNdraiser for a 3Day Walk for Breast Cancer team. We went to an 80s prom in West Seattle to rock to the band Ready, Set, GO! There was a plethera of day glow dresses, vans and Converse hi-tops. The music was all of our favorites and we could not only UNDERSTAND the words, but sing along, badly but it was a good time and the gals had about 50-75 people in attenDANCE, so it was successful in their efforts. Dan even attended just to enjoy the tunes. We found out the next day he was suffering from pneumonia and he went directly to the Urgent Care.

Businesses benefitting non-profits - hope it catches on!

2009-03-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

I hit on a new trend this week and found great results from both trials. With economic pressures abounding from all directions, some businesses are taking a look and their bottom line and stretching it to benefit others in the community - businesses donating a portion of their profits to non-profits.

In Georgetown is Lect's Soup Stop - 5327 Denver Ave S. www.lectssoupstop.com. Every day they make a FABULOUS Country Vegetable soup (fresh chopped, not frozen veggies like okra, carrots, potatoes, celery, peas, etc. and a flavorful, hearty broth) and a special soup of the day, ranging from Clam Chowder to Italian Wedding Soup and many delectable versions in between. Weekly menus come with your lunch and are also avaialble on line to plan according to your cravings. A $5 bill gets you the best deal in the city, a sizeable bowl of soup, served take out with a roll, salt, pepper and butter in a handy carry container, soft drinks are available from coin-op machines on the north side of the building and NEW this week - cheese paninis - had a sample and it was tasty, filling and just grilled to the melt-in-your-mouth stage.

But that is not the best part - proceeds from soup sales benefit local charities serving fellow citizens - through the 7028 Life Enhancement Charitable Trust (there's the LECT), "One of its goals is to provide glasses, hearing aids and dentures to people who would otherwise have to do without. LECT's Soup Stop also donates our soups to the Union Gospel Mission." And the opportunity to donate is right on the counter while you wait for your delectable soup. So, you get served a healthy hearty lunch and humanity gets served with necessities of life. Which brings me to my next discovery - the Humanity Salon in Kent.

The Kent Reporter last week featured the Humanity salon which allows patrons to choose to donate 20% of their service fee to six community partners - Big Brothers/Big Sisters, The Hope Chest, Washington Women's Employment and Education, the Kent Food Bank, World Vision, and Katherine House. Humanity Salon is located at: 109 2nd Ave S., Kent WA 98032 (253) 981-4182, webiste is www.humanitysalons.org And, even better, the haircut I walked out with has generated more compliments from women of all ages and walks of life than anything I've done to my hair for years! So I look better, the food bank benefits from my haircut - the world is a greater place when we all pitch in and help each other.

Give one or both of these businesses a whirl and I'm sure your karma will be as healthy as your appetite and tresses.

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle

Proud Momma Moment

2009-03-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

Joe's competing in the Seattle Regional Spelling Bee this Sunday afternoon for the second year in a row, and he has actually been studying. This is the last year he will be eligible to partiicfpate and he came in about 25th out of 60 participants last year. I will figure out how to record his spelling segments and post them somewhere. His plan is to Rick Roll the audience if he misses a word and goes down in flames... that would go on YouTube.

Last year he got out on "camouflage" (he forgot my "lame mnemonic" of a mouse rolled in a camo flag) and the next week we were at GI Joes and I saw a pair of camo Chuck Taylor hi-tops and HAD to get them for him as an inside joke. Now he has two more pairs and never wears anything else.

He's competing in a Battle of the Bands event at School Friday (he's the lead singer and plays acoustic guitar for Overdrive) and the grades are acceptable in 4 classes, mildly horrid in two classes and better in the class he botched last quarter, go figure. I could never successfully balance all six classes either, but I can't tell him that. I have to be the hard-nosed parent expecting more and demanding better grades when I really want to tell him I know it's a b**ch balancing everything, but this is life. We all have to find balance in work, home, family, friends, social, housework... often more than six things at once.

***

It's not often I forget to post a blog entry - but I did, so now you get the update to the SPelling bee as well as the notice. The good news is we won't be whisking off for a trip to DC anytime soon. The bad news is Joe was eliminated in his second round with the word "bravura". My ESP just wasn't in tune apparently and it was not in the cards. He requested all available information about the word and I think hearing that it was Italian threw him so he tried to work in every possible vowel (brevieura) which is how it was pronounced.

He was disappointed, drowned his sorrows in a few Thomas Kempers, pizza and cupcakes at his consolation/victory party with family and friends. This was his last opportunity to compete as he will be 14 and complete eighth grade this year. The end of an era. Joe and I started attending the annual spelling bee when he was in first grade and even then he would keep track of the words and get at least half of them right. He's done us proud getting to the Regionals twice in two years.

IBS eating guidlines? Worth a try.

2009-03-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

Denise found some really good articles about cancer prevention and items to include in our diets, at http://health.msn.com/health-topics/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100233884&imageindex=1. The good news is I have incorporated some of these items into our routine, some cause me a bit of distress, but the end is worth the means, right?

I've spent a few weeks learning a lot about IBS and other colonic maladies that I thought might make sense to incorporate into my diet the guidelines that others have developed work well for them. Since no one seems to be making progress on dietary info for colon cancer survivors.

Here's what I found out. Since my system is now shorter/compacted, it is trying to do the same amount of work - get all the nutrients out of my food in less time. As soon as I begin eating anything, I get abdominal cramping signaling the digestive system to begin working, how most of us would describe "bowel urgency". The cramping gets worse when I eat a "trigger food" (which can be almost anything, usually high in fat and low in nutrients) or when there is a slack space in the digestive system so the muscles contract more in an empty section than in a full section. I've been combating this by eating more often and filler foods (not always nutritionally dense foods) - hence my weight gain. Apparently, that is not the way to go, as my pants have been telling me for months.

The new plan is to follow IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) guidelines and extremely limit my exposure to red meat, dairy, eggs, and fried foods. Yea, looks like fun if you've ever seen my dinner plate. Green salad is now a last course part of my meal and white, sourdough, or french bread begins every meal. On the plus side, my fondness for peppermint or chamomile tea is a natural digestive calming tonic, so I'll be carrying those with me more often. Fiber supplements help keep the "slack" out of the system and minimize cramping. Overall, I'm looking at more soluble fiber foundations for my dietary needs. Soluble fiber dissolves in water and absorbs the excess water in the digestive tract making things move more smoothly overall.

My staples are
Grains: limited WHOLE WHEAT - rice, pasta/noodles, Oatmeal, barley, Fresh white breads (French or sourdough), rice cereals, flour tortillas, Quinoa, Corn meal, Potatoes,
Veggies: Carrots, Yams, Sweet potatoes, Turnips, Rutabagas, Parsnips, Beets, Squash and pumpkins, Chestnuts
Fruit: Avocados, Bananas, Applesauce Mangoes Papayas (natural digestive enzymes)
Meat: Soy, White poultry meat,
Milk: soy, rice or oat milk. Cheeses, soy, rice or almond substitutes.
Be on the lookout for recipes utilizing these components.

Fish and Poultry in limited amounts, very little red meat as well as much smaller, more frequent meals to stay full and not let a lag in the process develop (that's also where the fiber supplements come in).

I don't expect changes as far as your cooking or when we have meals together. I just may bring more of my staples to add to the meal and may take less and don't want to offend anyone. The recipes I bring are bound to have at least one "Surprise ingredient" from now on; more than likely soy. I need to be more aware and diligent in staying away from foods that will not feel good later. Apparently, my system is a trial and error system and I think I've hit all the errors so it's time to start making some good choices and see where that takes me.

Hopefully, when I start putting better things in again, the urge to exercise will be easier to encourage. I'll let you know how the road is going.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Querulous about Sesame St. characters?

2009-02-17T20:17:00.000-08:00

quizfarm.com/quizzes/new/Calixta/which-sesame-street-character-are-you-many-outcomes

Too funny, this is a very in depth quiz about your mannerisms and preferences to determine which Sesame St. character you are most similar to. I'm most like Telly monster who is not one of my faves, nor the one I would have predicted. Anyway, it was an interesting way to waste 10 minutes. Enjoy!

You need a what by when?

2009-02-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

Homework assignments. Are they more for parents or the kids? Are these teachers demented or just torturing us because they spend 5 hours a day with our kids? Will other kids learn history better because my 10 yo son wears a buckskin trousers? I don't think so, but I digress...

Nick arrived home last week with the announcement that he needs to be transformed into 16th century explorer, Louis Joulliet (travelled the Mississippi River in a canoe exploring for a trade route to China for the spice/silk road - now you know as much as we do) for a wax museum/report for social studies, but he doesn't know when it is. I didn't even know who Joulliet was until we had to get 3 report resources, but that was the task for LAST week.

First stop, mom uttering expletives against the teacher who assigned this task, second stop - the thrift store circuit. After 3 stores and lots of possibilities, including a$25 fake leather Western style jacket with tons of fringe, we ended up with a suede vest, sheepskin lined (all synthetic) for $3.00, some tan velour ladies stretch pants or $3.00 , a thermal top and our piece de resistance for $7.00, killer Eskimo mucklucks with fur and lacings in a mens' size 10. So he looks a little like a Neanderthal clown. Two hours of sewing work at home adding rustic-looking fringe to the top and pants sideseams, they look amazingly like buckskins and even more important Nick is pleased with the result.

What did our moms do without thrift stores and eBay? While I was busy channeling my grandmother and mother-in-law who each were "da bomb" at wacky school assignments, scout activities and costume production. If I had anything my mom couldn't handle, she would send me to my grandmother's house to complete the job. Gigi and I had a great time making diorama book reports, cooking native dishes and finding costumes for all sorts of events. She even rented me a white wig from a costume store to be Dolly Madison in one of mom's old prom dresses and such. She kept lots of my mom's dressy stuff and square dancing costumes to be reprised for use by the next generation.

Thrift stores in my youth were VERY scary places only the marginalized of society went to for purchases. In my 20s and 30s, I was a Goodwill groupie and Value Village vixen - that was my clothes horse stage when found I could afford a lot more on my meager paychecks there than even Ross. Then the pall was removed from Value Village when they became a franchise store and the prices rose with it. Gone were the days of finding a Jones New York outfit for $5 or a black velvet dress for new Years for $15. But by then I was looking for "mom clothes" that would be tragic to have ruined with "kid liquids".

The bidding starts at $50 for the first 4th grade parent with the foresight to call me in preparation for next year. Or maybe I'll start the "save it for the next generation" box...

Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

New Year's Resolution #1

2009-02-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's February 3, I figure if I don't make one until now, I won't break it as early. There is a strategy in my procrastination. I resolve to write here more often. At least once a month... if I have anything interesting to say, and even if it's just random rambly ramblings because then I won't have broken my resolution. How's that for circular logic? P/B ;-P

Attitude of Gratitude

2008-12-09T12:33:00.001-08:00

I just like the sound of that, and what better time to have an attitude of gratitude than as a chaotic and stressful year comes to a close?! It's the characteristic that most entices me to return to our current place of worship. Every act of cleaning, assistance, fund-raising, charity, etc., that I have participated in at St. Columba's has been rewarded with a sincere thank you from someone not directly benefitting from my actions. Most are just glad that there are fresh folks to offer the many hands to make the work light.

I/we have a great deal of things to express gratitude for - SYMPTOMS!! We live in a country with medical resources to facilitate the early detection of cancers, we have adequate health care provided by our employer (our bill for my whole episode was under $1500). Friends and family were willing to care for the boys, me and my extended family upon request. Medical developments in surgical procedures that allow quick recovery within 2 months of surgery. Boys willing take mom for walks and to push a wheelchair for a few weeks, noticing the reactions of others and aware of challenges faced during that time. A new-found dedication to eating better... well, at least 80% of the time. And mostly, the chance to spend more precious time with my family, friends and raising the boys to be healthy, independent gentlemen - with a totally whacked sense of humor.

We've been trying for the last three days to catch Santa for our annual photo - Sunday he left 1/2 hour before we arrived, last night we just saw him pulling out of the parking lot and today we are going to be in line at the stroke of 5:00. One of those "simply have to's" of the season. Joe's fighting tooth and nail not to be subjected to this commercial display of advertising melee - but don't get me wrong, he TOTALLY wants gifts - and of the impractical variety. Nick is all over the Santa photo thing. It means he doesn't have to shop or spend $ on Mom. Dan would prefer to submit to a Santa photo than any thing else I've requested of him this year. Putting up house lights, making Dr. appts., etc. But he's had a heck of a year too, and been a great partner.

I hope this Season finds you healthy, wealthy in non-material ways, blessed in every way and peaceful as you enjoy the holidays in whatever manner suits your soul, psyche, and spirit.

Wishing you lasting Peace and MANY Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Tampa Trip

2008-10-16T05:18:00.000-07:00

All is well, travelling with my sister in Tampa (85 and HUMID, my bra's clammy) and this has been the Just in Time trip so far. Just in time for my connecting flight from O'Hare to Tampa, just in time for her class Monday after getting lost 3 times en route, just in time for a dolphin spotting cruise while I was getting lost going elsewhere. But it's great weather, somewhat relaxing and we have a convertible we can actually use here. What a concept. It has also cured me of desiring to purchase a convertible - no trunk room, two-doors with a 6' 13 yo would not work (I would be the one in the back seat). Among other things. Sun roof, may be a more reasonable adjustment! Left my photo transfer materials in room, will post photos including blurry dolphin shots later.

Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

41 and olding... I mean holding.

2008-09-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

Turned 41 today and survived it. I found a saying recently that was timely, "Don't complain about growing older, it is a privilege denied to many." Of unknown origin, but it makes sense. Had we been born at any other time, in any other country, to other parents our chances of mere survival would be vastly different. The last year has been trying, frustrating, greatly clarifying, and has provided some new priorities like exercise and eating correctly - at least 50% of the time. Also clarified what is truly important and what can be trimmed away from my stress factors. Thanks for hanging with me and being my BRA Chix this year, here's to more good times, great memories and adventures that await us in the coming year(s)!

Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

What to do when we don't know what to do...

2008-09-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

So many times we hear someone is ill or has a challenge in their lives and we call to say let me know how I can help. When I received these calls, I was like "OK, but I don't even know what to do myself right now let alone what to ask anyone else to do..." I saw this article on the CarePages.com website and think it's a good one to keep with our condolence cards and such to remind us of positive steps and simple things to really make a difference. My usual MO was "they are so busy right now, I'll leave them alone." My new MO is at least to check in and let them know I'm thinking about them, I also give a time in the next week that I can help with housework, meals or errands. Our pals and family members aren't getting any younger and the sooner we learn to comfort the better comforters we will be.

27 ways to comfort a sick friend

We all want to be there when a friend or loved one needs us most. Why not step outside the box and use these creative ways to offer help, a boost or just some much-needed distractions?

Provide a dose of delight. Take a sick friend on an excursion to a “delightful place,” such as a botanical garden, nature trail, beach or forest preserve. It can be a soul-soothing experience.

For a friend who is seriously ill and housebound, drop off some food, books or videos, but keep your visit short so as not to tire them out.

Burn a CD of your friend’s favorite songs or a selection of soothing, tranquil music.

Organize a group care network for a sick loved one. Email a group of close friends and set up a rotating system for coming over and helping with household chores or caregiving.

Offer to help with the day-to-day stuff that needs to be done, such as a grocery trip, a Target run, doing a load of laundry, bringing home cooked food or walking the dog.

When you’re at the grocery store call your sick friend and say “I'm here what do you need?” Or, “I have the kids after school... don't worry.”

Be a stable, reliable presence in your friend's life. Speaking calmly and checking in regularly can be a huge comfort to someone whose life has been turned upside down by a health challenge.

Keep in touch through regular emails or CarePages website postings. Say something. Say anything. Let him or her know they are not alone.

Send a weekly care package to a sick co-worker. Set up a drop box on your desk and ask co-workers to “lend” their favorite magazines, DVDs, and/or CDs to help your colleague pass the time.

A plant or a small bouquet of flowers is always appreciated--even after the healing process of surgery, chemo or other illnesses has begun.

Offer to arrange child care at no cost to the family when an illness happens that involves small children.

A health crisis can create chaos in so many ways. Send over a cleaning service to clean the house and restore a sense of serenity and order.

Create a gift basket with fruits, granola bars, magazines, a deck of cards, candies, a package of thank you cards, stamps, a notebook and a pen.

Donate your frequent flyer miles or give an airline gift certificate to a family member of a sick friend who lives far away.

Send books, DVDs or CDs through Amazon to help a sick friend pass the time.

Send a box of seasonal fresh fruit through Harry and David to a friend who is recovering from illness or surgery.

Hire a manicurist/pedicurist to do a house call for a sick friend.

Buy a gift membership to an online DVD rental service so your recovering friend can receive movies through the mail. Gift memberships can be purchased for one month up to a year.

If your friend is bed-bound or in the hospital for a while, send or drop off some soft, fluffy slippers, a soft bed pillow, lavender scented linen spray, wonderful pajamas, comfy socks, or foot massage cream to make them feel pampered.

Throw a feel-good get-together. Shower a friend with practical and meaningful gifts to help him or her get through a tough time, such as surgery or chemo.

Provide food for the soul. Organize a pool of cooks to whip up comfort food to give and share, and make sure you've got a team in place to create your own meals-on-wheels network.

Become the wheels. Offer to accompany your friend to his or her medical appointment.

Put together a get-well kit. Include bottled water, green tea, Kleenex, fruits, vitamin C, and a bundle of healthy remedies.

Provide healing hands. Massage can be a powerful tool for calming our psyches. Get your friend a gift certificate for a massage that can be redeemed when he or she feels up to it.

Empower your friend or loved one by providing them with a box filled with inspirational books, inspiring quotes and music.

Provide entertainment. Offer to take a sick friend to the movies. Or bring over a DVD, make some popcorn and watch a funny movie together.

Laugh, chat, and share as you normally would. Remember that a person is not defined by illness. They are still the same friend to you and want to continue to do their part in the give and take of friendship.

Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

FL Trip in 3 weeks and counting...

Check out the cover... not Vogue or anything stylish.

2008-09-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.nwhospital.org

Scroll down 1/2 page to the right and see if you recognize the BRA chick in the lavender jacket...

I'm the cover story for the NW Hospital Med Info magazine. It's never a for sure thing until it is published, so I kept it quiet for a while. Take a peek. I'm getting a few issues for "posterity". Yuk!

This should be the final wrap on all things cancerous/surgical/recovery for me, except keeping others in prayers for their own adventures.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

Last published on Aug 9?!... Life Happens.

2008-09-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

Hey, sorry to have been in disposed so long. Life has been in rapid-fire motion since mid-August but not doing anything substantial - kids camps, work, short day trips, etc., and balancing the juggling balls of work, school, boys, house, you know the drill. Then, on top of things D/D (the newlyweds) decided this current housing market slump was the perfect time to buy! So they've been dragging us along for acquiring moving boxes, and then helping to pack them, moving to an apartment this weekend (because of course no house could close by the time their rental lease was up), and then moving to a house 3 months later. It will be great for them and is large enough I won't be hosting every family gathering (SCORE !)

As if that weren't enough, my sister then invited me to accompany her on a CME trip to Florida in October - and knowing I cannot resist travel without Dan and the boys I said not only yes, but HECK YES! So, we'll be off 10/14 through 10/18 carousing in the greater Tampa area armed with a rental car and GPS, since we can both get lost in the bathtub. But you know what that will mean for the blog - TRAVEL photos! Whoo hoo! I picked up a FL travel guide at the library yesterday and was just bemoaning the fact that I didn't go snorkeling in AUS - guess what?! Another opportunity may present itself in the near future - and I may wimp out again, but it will be an informed wimpout and only called so due to shark sightings. Swimming with dolphins is another attaraction I may have to explore.

School news - Joe is now attending FWPA Federal Way Public Academy and is enthused about school, learning and his classes - reread for emphasis... we haven't seen this since 3rd grade and it's a welcome change. This is the kid that asked me if he could get his GED at 13 last year, because school was just a waste of time. So we are thrilled, he's writing down assignments, doing homework, learning Spanish for the first time and charged up about participating in extra-curricular activities!! He has a group of about 5-8 "homies" pals and seems to be fitting in well. The school has a very diverse cultural base, common for Federal Way, covers Grades 6-10 and after 10 the kids are ready to assimilate into another FW high for Int'l Baccalaureate program or to community colleges for Running Start. A win/win plan either way.

Nick is at the old school Kent Mountain View Academy KMVA and I see a wide chasm already between the two schools in comparison. High parental involvement makes a big difference. We'll transfer Nick over to FWPA (pronounced Fwhoppa, that's what all the kids call it) at 6th grade and he and Joe will again be in the same school for the next 3 years - YEA! But he's comfortable with his old friends and teachers for another year.

We found an existing carpool to join that had space and ride with 5 other kids, two Muslim families and mostly girls so conversation with Joe while girls are in the car is strictly VERBOTEN!! I was informed of such at the end of my inaugural carpool drive - Joe may get some prime walking opportunities very soon. He walks from the last carpool stop when I do not drive which gives him some fresh air and exercise toting his substantial backpack. Good thing Dan invested in an REI product for him.

I reduced my work week to 3 days and spend the other two mornings in the pool committed to an exercise program! It's slow starting and I creep around like I'm an 80 yo woman the next day, but I feel good after doing it and the community pool is a new and well-designed facility with lots of perks like steam/sauna, hot tubs and an exercise floor upstairs with exercise machines. When I get into the schedule I'll arrive at 8:30, dry exercise for 30 mins and then do a 1 hour cardio water class. So I should be in good shape in about 6-7 years.

Had an outing with long-time gal pal Wendy from NC this week and she has self-published a book of poetic art with 2 other poets. With her permission, I'll post one of my faves from her treasures. We had dinner at Green Lake and picked up boxes for my sister, am I a fun date or what?

I nearly forgot the most important development. I had a call from my surgeon a few weeks back asking if Iwould be the NW Hospital cover story for their bimonthly magazine. I thought about it for 10 seconds and said sure. Had a phone interview and photo shoot the next week and the issue should be out soon. I'll scan a cover shot for the blog and we'll witness my one shot at being a cover girl. I don't think Vogue will be calling anytime soon. You may recognize the cover girl in your mailbox if you live in North Seattle.

Peace and blessings, hope all is well and you're safe, happy and well-loved,

Michelle ;-P

The Shack - great book to chew on...

2008-08-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

I was recently given the book, The Shack to read by a pal. Without giving any plot spoilers away, it is the story of a man dueling with his faith and his place in life after a tragic incident. The resulting pilgrimage he undertakes after a strange invitation brings him closure, understanding and greater faith as a result. This book will put your own faith into question, give you some good questions to mull over and change the face of your personification of ?, whatever you call Nature, higher power, God, The Force of the Universe.

The question I have been considering for days is: "When you use your imagination as an adult, is it to deal with the past, the present or the future?" Find a favorite point to ponder and we'll hash it out in future posts...

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

LAST Medical Update - I hope

2008-07-31T15:12:00.000-07:00

Baby Jack - living temporarily at Grandma's house in Tacoma with his mom. Respiratory is normal and he's gaining weight. Home for them is Ocean Shores and they feel need to be near a Neo-natal ICU for a few more weeks of good check ups.

Ian - has had several chemo doses by spinal tap. Has lost his hair, gained some weight due to steroids and is generally taking it all pretty well. Next steps are chemo into his port every 10 days so they are spacing out his doses. His #'s are increasing so the chemo is doing what it is supposed to.

Michelle - had 6 mo mammo check up yesterday and no surprises. I DARE them to find anything weird at this point. I've been scanned, scoped, ultrasounded and probed deep wide and often. Good riddance! I've had my fill of docs for 2008. Meet with nutritionist the 13th and then I'm DONE!

Boys are well and have their check ups next, so the most they should need is immunization updates. FINGERS crossed!

Hope all is well with you and yours, we are at 22 good colo check-ups!
Peace and blessings ;-P
Michelle

BRA Chix hit the Books

2008-07-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

I found a few books during my recuperation time to recommend. Not a romance novel in the bunch - some have small semi-plots of near-romance, but no bodice-ripping, heaving, studs of raging passion to be found here. I'm still pondering a passionate parody...

The Alpine Mystery series by Mary Daheim. The Emma Lord mysteries are a good read, entertaining, not requiring too much thought and an endearing look into the fictional town and residents of Alpine, WA. A real place in the dawn of railroad time, that has since faded away in upper Snohomish County. So it has local appeal, good plots and characters we welcome into our reading respites. The main character Emma is the editor of the local weekly paper and in her "spare time" finds herself helping the local law enforcement do their job as well all in the name of news. It is an A-Z series, the Alpine Advocate through the Alpine Quilt, I believe is the most current addition. Not necessary to read in any order, the stories stand alone.

Mrs. Perfect was recommended by BRA Chick Kathleen as we all have one or more of them in our life, the women we love to hate or would like to hate them if they weren't so fun to be around. Taylor Young has a closetful of designer togs, a Street of Dreams home, great sex life and is the IT mom of her girl's school chairing the auction and getting it all done better than anyone else. Her life falls off its pedestal and instead of crumpling, it's tempting, she finds her bootstraps, tightens them and becomes part of the solution instead of part of the problem, much to the surprise of her friends, enemies and her family. It sounds cheesy, but has some good heart to it. I kept wondering when she was going to come to the realization that her closet is a vault and take her clothes to consignment and discover "a whole new world," but it never happened. Can you imagine if the Bellevue set discovered "consignment"? Oh, the horrors.
By Jane Porter, she also has Odd Mom Out which is next on my list to find.

The last one is the Queen of Babble series by Meg Cabot, Queen of Babble in the Big City - I'll be looking for the rest of the series at the library. Wanna-be wedding dress renovator Lizzy found a remote prince on her last vacation to France and is living with him in his mother's Manhattan apartment. She needs to find a job, an apartment and herself, not necessarily in that order. A high profile wedding in New York brings her opportunity and benevolent friends and neighbors make things click for her amid some major snags in the system. Well-developed characters, decent plot - this is a good by the pool, on the beach, last vacation of the summer read.

Happy reading, let me know what has been in your bag while you shuttle and wait for kids. For isn't that our passion from June to August? The secret bliss of a good novel to indulge in while we wait for our charges to emerge... and wait.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Joe hit 6' and learns to beat the economy...

2008-07-27T10:32:00.001-07:00

Well, I don't know who wins the pool, but we measured Joe yesterday and he is 6'.75" at 13 years old. We had a bet whether or not he would hit it by his birthday last month or by the first of July. Not quite, but this week I went out to buy pants for school. Noted his current pants size and brought home some slim fit jeans - too short and too tight. That puzzled us, how can the same size jeans be too short. Don't know but they are. Cleaned out all of his drawers and rooted out clothing and shoes that no longer fit, so our local Goodwill is going to have some good finds unless Joe decides to photo the items and put them on Craigslist. Our whole main level of our home came from Craigs list over time.

The clothes in this photo no longer fit and he hits the top of the panel above his head now... new photo due, I'll add later. He thinks he wants to do cross-country running team at the new school so running shoes are next on the agenda for him. $$$ I made him a deal on school clothes, I buy pants and shoes and he buys t-shirts since he's picky about which ones he will wear. We had an economics lesson on Friday night - $15 buys one to two shirts at Fred Meyer, but 7 at Value Village, I may have a newly-minted follower. Recent articles in the newspaper are signing the praises of thrifty spending and recycling for housewares and clothing, nothing new to me, I've been a VV faithful for YEARS. The thing that cracked us up in a recent Parade article was that the family looks forward to a big tax return for home improvements and scrimps and saves all year - the money they "loan" to Uncle Sam would be better used to pad their budget and they would get more investing in their own savings. How is that a benefit?

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Prayers and Blessings

2008-07-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

New prayer request - my cousin Wendy had a son, Jack, Wednesday night by c-section and he inspirated some amniotic fluid in the process. He now has a lung infection and is in the neonatal intensive care section of Tacoma General. Very stressful for a first time mom and her family. He is a 9 pounder so he has some resilience and they have requested prayers for his recovery, mom's recovery and for successful breastfeeding which will bring him needed antibodies. We racked up the miles for me and know it works...

Ian is responding well to his treatments. He gets a spinal tap of chemo every Thursday and needed a blood transfusion last week, so that was a new experience for his family - 9 hours at Mary Bridge. They are assembling a hospital survival kit for those trips b/c who knows how long they will take each week. It's a roll of the dice. He's much cooler with is new hairdo to boot.

Nick spent the week at tennis camp with 2 buddies and Joe worked wrangling 40 kids at Vacation Bible School at church. He seemed to enjoy himself but learned he doesn't want more than 2 kids when he is an adult, so it taught him things on a variety of levels. Boys have a week off of activities until August 4-8. Joe in b-ball and Nick... we'll find something to occupy him.

We are well. Had a busy week last week and another coming up, so I've been a couch potato this weekend. Our washing machine is on its way to a quick retirement. The main issue is we bought the house from a single occupant and it came with a front load small capacity washing machine. With a family of 4 and two boys, right?! So it's days were numbered. It's been peeing on the floor like a geriatric puppy for months and Dan took it apart this weekend. Brilliant design, plastic compartment to hold the drum in place and steel screws. So the plastic housings break and you are ... screwed. Just what I need this week. Fortunately, Friday was 7 loads of washing day, which may have been the straw that broke this swaybacked camel. We'll do our part to stimulate the economy. The boys are off tomorrow for a M's game with the g-rent's and overnight. I'll work a long day and then take a pal to her colonoscopy on Tuesday - I'm everyone's butt buddy now; required ride home from the light at the end of the tunnel.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

SD trip - final days!

2008-07-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

I need to stay on track, I've left you in suspense with the final days of the SD trip. Heavens! On July 1, we rode into Hill City and ambushed the Alpine Saloon for a great lunch of more German food, got to observe a thunderstorm outside while we ate and then explored some of the merchantiles in the burg. The boys and I ended up at the end of town in front of an old time photo studio. I sent them back to roust the troops and all 8 of us partook in a 1/2 hour of revelry posing as the outlaw in-laws. J was less than enthusiastic and N was all over it because he was equipped with not 1 BUT 2 GUNS!!! Talk about a s**t-eating grin on his face. The photo shoot was a hoot and I thought we'd have to twist arms to get my parents to participate. Not so. I've been trying to get a good scan of the photo, but it always comes out sideways. When I get it right, I will post. We took the 1880 steam train from Hill City to Keystone through the lower Black Hills of SD and lots of rustic homes, ranches, old decrepit farms and mines. Some new and interesting construction in the mix as well. A brief stop in Keystone and we saw we should make a return trip in the next day or two.
We arrived back at Palmer Gulch in time for a potluck to eat up any remaining leftovers at Rick and Mary Lyons cabin. This is one of the PLUSH cabins with several rooms, a big porch and large dining table which heard many great stories and much laughter that night - and saw a few empty wine bottles as well. We did a good job clearing out the leftovers - like a hoard of locusts.
The morning of July 2, Dan wanted to get us up early to go to Mt. Rushmore, into Keystone for some entertainment and onward to Custer State Park to our next lodging so he and Joe could run down to the Badlands for the sunset. The Presidents were foggy, so we skipped the tour and saw them later in all their glory in the tunnel view in Custer State Park. We had seen them at night all lit up due to several wrong turns the first night in so the novelty had worn off at that point. In Keystone, the guys tolerated some shopping with Mom then wanted to do the Alpine Slide. A ski lift takes you to the top of a small mtn., and you ride down on a luge sled in a concrete track. You really get zipping. Dan took a film of one of his runs and if I can get him to post in on YouTube, I'll post the link here. It was a hit for all 3 boys and I found my commemorative t-shirt "Don't make me open this can" of Whoop-Ass. Well worth the cost.
We headed onward to Custer State Park and found our cabin to be cozy but quite plush with a heat pump and satellite TV, much to Nick's amusement. I had a nap, Nick watched an informative outer space show and Dan and Joe headed for the hills. Moseyed in to Custer for dinner and caught a street corner Indian dance performance with the rents and the newlyweds, and returned to the lodge for pie for dessert. While walking back to our cabins, the forward group grew suddenly quiet and moved rapidly. There was a bison the size of a mini-van 25 feet from D/D's cabin, so we watched him for about an our out the back windows, 1/2 of us in the bathroom and half in the bedroom. So nice to have a close family. At 10:00 it was too dark to see if he was lingering and we used camera flashes to return to our own cabin. Joe and Dan returned about 11:00 and Joe had sat on a cactus in one of their hikes, he wasn't hurt but his jeans were handled gingerly. They stopped at Wall Drug and Joe drove for a bit in the middle of nowhere, so they had a bonding experience.
Early on the 3rd, we ventured back into Rapid City for our return flight home via Salt Lake City. We found cooperative flight personnel who cut our layover time by 5 hours and got us in to Seattle by 5 p.m., so the return trip kept me a happy camper without spending much time in SLC. I'd learned my lesson and napped from Rapid City to SLC. I sat next to Joe, who is not a social flight partner. Overall, the trip was good, we made some cool memories for our parents, ourselves, our relatives and the boys. Safe travels, no major mishaps and good times.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Running at normal chaotic speed

2008-07-16T16:20:00.001-07:00

Well, life is as much back to normal as it is going to get - boys running to concurrent events in separate parts of the city, mom trying to squeeze some work in and the housework going to pot as usual during the summer. Sounds like nothing's changed at Chez Meeker. Appt with my PCP the naturopath yesterday and we scheduled a session with a nutritionist in August. So that should help me figurer out a plan for the future that won't tax my system. I've been erring on the side of excess caution. Oncologist put me on calcium, low dose aspirin daily and vitamin D, specifically for colon health because I have no more tubing to spare. I'm assembling the associated costs of having colon cancer just because I find it astounding what medical procedures cost and think others would too. So, when I get the final bills in, I will post. Just getting the pre-diagnostics in now from early May.

N's had a busy week of 3 hours of tennis camp daily with 2 pals, J has been helping with Vacation Bible School as a crew leader (kid wrangler) and comes home pooped. We've been baking for a Friday night church fund-raiser carnival cake walk and we're in high 80-90 degree weather. This weekend N goes to NW Trek for an overnight event and he's pumped!

Glad to be out of constant dr. appts., no need for a wheelchair and released for normal activity. Now how do I catch up on the two months that slipped by while I was otherwise occupied?! My doc yesterday asked, "But how are you doing mentally with all of the last two months you've dealt with?" Hmmm, let's just move forward and leave it in the past. Over and onward. Can't believe summer is 1/2 over and if I ask the boys, we "haven't done anything".

Hope all is well in your side of the pond and the tadpoles are hopping!
Peace and Blessings
Michelle ;-P

Discharged from oncolcogist for 1 year!

2008-07-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last doc appts. with surgeon and oncologist yesterday. Surgeon - back to full activity as of next week and no dietary restrictions; "there are some things you might find good to stay away from popcorn, granola, etc. but have what appeals to you and see how it goes." Ohhh-kay. Easy for you to say.
Oncologist, nothing conclusive on the pathology reports on my tumor. They still won't give it to me to whack with a shoe. Scheduled my next CT scan for May 11, 2009 to check back on things. Which means every Monday in May 2009 will be a procedure day, colon scope, blood draws, CT scan and appt to recap all of the above. Yeehaw! I'd better also plan a good reward weekend for Memorial Day 2009 then, I think.
Worked a bit with the boys in tow, Diane took them to see Wall-E during my doc appts. It was a hit, both liked it.

Hope I find the energy to resume full activity soon. Just figuring out what needs to be done after taking a month off to recover is daunting. Then the trip on top of it all set me back further. The calendar just seems to fill up on its own and the have tos just keep piling up. Work piles are unnerving, laundry piles are annoying, the boys' rooms and bathrooms are disasters, I still have wedding stuff piled in my basement just from the stuff we packed in for the day. Anyone have a bulldozer and dynamite handy? I'm at the point where I need help, but I don't know what kind or where to get it or what to do about it. I don't have the energy to attack it or think about it yet. Just frustrated with my lack of focus and energy level. Guess mom is going to have to call in the calvary next week or two to catch up. Thanks for letting me vent off - now I need to crack some boys heads to get going around here.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

This Bud's for You... no, it's not Beer.

2008-07-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week and I'm forgetting days of the SD trip, so I need to regroup and make some notes. In the interim, I haven't posted any of the floral photos from NZ and AUS, so here are some blooms to take you through the week.

Some flowers were snapped on the street and some are from the Wintergarden in Auckland near the Auckland Museum. I don't know the names of any of them, several appear to be from the orchid family, but I just snapped for the aesthetic views... if they were pretty, I snapped.

Trip Recap - Day 3

2008-07-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

Trip recap day 3 - 6/30 - My sister awoke to discover that at some point she had broken a tooth, so our duty for the day was to find her an emergency dentist and get her there. The rest of the group decided to spend the day at the Palmer Gulch relaxing, recovering and visiting with relatives. My dad and I took a roll in the park, the kids played in the pool, jumped on the bouncy pillow and Dan worked on some projects he had brought along. We all read, napped, and passed the day at will.

My sister's appointment was in Rapid City at 2:00 and we hung out until she returned. At 33, she has never had so much as a filling, so she was a little apprehensive. Fortunately she had her new husband to go along and he's an experienced dental patient. When we were young, by parents would reward us for good dental check ups with a toy or Barbie doll. Mom and I were perusing the camp gift shops selection of Black Hills Gold jewelry and determined that a broken tooth ramped up the reward a bit. We chose a simple pinky ring for her and presented it to her after she returned - from having a crown AND a root canal performed in 2 hours of chair time. She was fully recovered, had little pain and was able to enjoy the rest of the trip.

We gathered again that evening with the extended family group for an evening of visiting and had a great chicken dinner - nice soft food for both Denise and me! We answered SD trivia and tested each other to see how many new family members we could name from memory. My mom and sister worked well as a team and then many of the cousins shared memories of family members no longer with us. Another great night culminated with S'mores at my parent's cabin and the boys bunked with them that night, so... Dan and I EACH got a double bed to ourselves! Hey, after almost 20 years of marriage there is just so much romance we can handle.

On July 1, the guys went on a trail ride on horseback and then we drove into Hill City. More on that subject tomorrow...

Med update and trip recap - day 2

2008-07-05T11:25:00.000-07:00

Medical update: M's energy is at 75-80%; Ian is beginning to lose his hair from chemo, but being 8, thinks it's cool for now. We are at 17 people who have had butt scopes due to my experience and all have come out with no surprises - clean bills of health! ;-P

SD trip recap 6/29 - I was much better after a full night's sleep. Dan and I were unsure of how sharing a double bed would go since we have a king at home. I think once I finally fell asleep I didn't move until 7 a.m., so he had no complaints. We met the first wave of cousins at the breakfast room of our lodge (www.palmergulch.com) and one of the local cousins had brought two large coolers filled with snow from last January for a snowball fight in July! Great fun and a welcome cool down as it was already 75 degrees at 10 a.m.

We met the families of cousin LaVer's 4 girls including identical twin cousins I had not seen since I was 4 and they were 9. Found we have 3 sets of twins in the family of which I was not aware - glad I dodged that bullet! Hope we didn't jinx my sister as it usually skips a generation. Spent the day visiting and catching up on who was connected to who, sharing old photos and new photos of D/D wedding. Had a nap just after the snowball fight , a wheelchair tour of the park with my dad and Nick and then hung out with family and another nap. We gathered for a BBQ dinner and cousin Barney made the grub. He worked for the Forest Service feeding forest fire volunteers and smoke jumpers, so he's a grubbin' pro.

Dan will be editing the numerous photos he took of the family reunion, a side trip to the Badlands he took with J, and other assorted photos and I'll provide the link when they are ready to go. At the BBQ, he was a snapping fool because he wanted to get photos of each family group as well as individual conversational groups when all were wearing name tags. Then he would have a master to figure out names and faces on subsequent photos. Good plan, man!

First day of SD travel 6/28 recap

2008-07-04T13:28:00.000-07:00

We started our travel to Rapid City, SD for a family reunion of my grandmother's siblings children. All of the grand-siblings are deceased and we wanted the 3rd and 4th generations to make some connections for the future of the family reunion planning; because you know the old folks will want to make this an annual thing now. So 6/28 at 8:00 a.m., my extended family - parents, sister and bro-in-law converged at our home to catch the airport shuttle and have a community breakfast. I had been up at 3 a.m. covering the many myriad of things crossing my brain in fleeting ferocity and was a little drained by 8. We arrived at SeaTac and I began my wheelchair experiences for the trip just after snaking through the security area. That wheelchair was a welcome sight at that point. Flew from Seattle to Salt Lake City (SLC). The SLC airport is adequate except for 1 small thing - there are no chairs without arms enabling someone to say, stretch out and take a nap (which I was really needing by that time). I tried to nap on the floor, I tried to nap close to a door, I tried to nap from 1-4 and there was no nap to be had for sure. So on to Rapid City, SD. Flight was OK, sat next to a private charter pilot from Florida who brings FL bigwigs to SD and other areas in their private planes for fishing, R/R, meetings, whatever. Too interesting of a seatmate to sleep on the flight. So we arrive in Rapid City about 5:30 p.m., tired, hungry, disoriented. Decided to fix the hungry first at a restaurant called Sanford's Grub and Pub - if you leave hungry there is something wrong. I had a deep-fried OREO sundae that was a near-BTS (better than s*x) experience. Then we began the navigation process to get to our lodging. From the instructions we had, it would be 25 miles from the airport - as the crow flies maybe... we rolled into Palmer Gulch Lodge about 2 hours later. THEN, my mom rolls in to claim her reservation and finds out she made our reservation to start SUNDAY night, not Saturday. At that point, I had been near tears since about 3:30 p.m. due to extreme fatigue, and just the strain of travel, after navigating with Dan for hours I dissolved right there in the lobby into convulsive hysterical sobs. We did however manage to get 2 rooms for the night promptly. When we were safely in our room, Dan's comment was "Nice job on the pity cry timing," few words and subtle humor, that's why I keep him around. High points of the day were 1-we all arrived safely (including luggage), 2-saw Mt. Rushmore lit up at night en route to our hotel, 3-had a great meal in RC, 4-my wheelchair service was excellent in airports, and 5-the boys were helpful and cooperative all the way. More anecdotes for your amusement tomorrow.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

We're home!

2008-07-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

Arrived home at 5:00 p.m. 7/3, and the trip was good. No major mishaps, some minor ones. I'll have to assemble the travel anecdotes and figure out which ones to share, those are my favorite to write and the ones most fun to read. We travelled from 6/28 - 7/3 to Rapid City, SD via Salt Lake City. We rented a wheelchair to conserve my strength and we returned it EARLY yesterday! The altitude helped build strength and took lots of short naps. The campground we were in is Palmer Gulch for the first few days and then the last day at Lake Legion in Custer State Park. Palmer Gulch (PG) is close to Mt. Rushmore and many of the nearby towns look like Radiator Springs from the CARS movie according to my sons. PG has numerous family activities as well as a $2.50 all you can eat pancakes from 7-11 every morning. Two outdoor pools, horseback trail rides, movies, mini golf, trails, bike rentals, arcade, 3 restaurants and cafe's, all the comforts of home. Some of the cabins are plush and some are more rustICK! A very cool place for a family vacation or reunion.

Late Night/Early Morning Brain Activity

2008-06-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

Too many brain farts to sleep. I keep thinking of things I need to do, pack, complete, get, etc. and today is my sister, Denise's b-day (she is 30-teen too!). News about Ian, his bone marrow treatment is going well, "clearing" is the official term and he's having some trouble with nausea from the chemo but doing well overall. Any good news is welcome when the bad news was initially so devastating.

Well, Wednesday night after getting the all clear for liquor - I overdid with a 1/2 bottle of reisling. Spoke to a few people and have very little recollection of the evening, but I was still wearing my knickers in the a.m., so it couldn't have gotten too racy as I didn't leave the house. Slept REALLY well that night too and no hangover?! Might be onto something here. The packing is wrapping up and the boys are getting wound tighter than springs to escape the usual boring summer at home and actually DO SOMETHING!

I've been spending a few days trying to put my finger on what this whole experience has changed about me or taught me over the last two months. I'm not sure I have it exactly, but it's making me be really present and focused on what I am doing and why and how it affects me and those around me. I'm listening more, explaining my feelings and requests to the boys and letting them know how their actions affect those around them. I'm finding perceptions in the weirdest places and realizing that EVERYONE we encounter in a day has their own "cancer scare" going on in their life and we need to be more patient, honest, compassionate and trust each other more. I'm also learning I can ask for help and extra time and the world won't crash to a halt.

Spending some time in a wheelchair for errands at Fred Meyer and on our trip through airports will give and have given me new perspectives on life from that angle. Reaching desired items in a store is infuriating while seated. Waiting for people to acknowledge that they are in your way requires saintly patience and most people look through you without acknowledgment. A great learning experience for me and the boys as well. Hope it will change our responses in the future when this episode is a distant memory.

By the time we return from this trip I should be fair to middling and gaining ground in endurance, exercise aspirations, meet with a nutritionist to get ideas on what changes I need to make to accommodate a reduced intestinal processing system and get back to work. An ambitious week that tires me out now just looking at it.
Have a safe and festive 4th with rest and relaxation with your leisure activity of choice.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

Sydney Aquarium

2008-06-25T16:57:00.000-07:00

These jelly fish in black light look more like glass art than sea creatures to me.

With just one day in Sydney, I spent three hours in the Sydney Aquarium.

My favorite part was walking through the ocean tubes while sharks, immense sea turtles and sting rays swim over, around and beside you. The closest thing to scuba diving for the water fearful. I love to visit aquariums almost more than anything else when traveling.

The sea turtle pictured is about the size of a small living room CHAIR, roughly 4' head to tail and 3' across.

Coral reef fishes in among the rocks and an assortment of corals. This was a better view than I had at the GBR, and more varieties of sea creatures and corals live in deeper currents.

Peaceful blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Sydney Chinese Garden

2008-06-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

It's getting harder to remember what locales I was in each day, so I'm going to start jumping to specific places and stray from my actual itinerary.

Today, we have photos all from the Sydney Chinese Garden of Friendship.

This is the one stop Dan asked me to make in Sydney and it was just what I needed at the time I was there, peaceful, rustic, a piece of nature in the middle of the city. He has good instincts and knows worthwhile stops.

Would have been nice to have him there with me but he was with me in spirit. That prevented all the complicated map and navigational confrontations of traveling with a spouse or partner.

The one drawback to ALL of my AUS photos is that I mistakenly reset my camera to a lower resolution on photos. When I got home I had almost 1000 photos on one memory card. So, the possibilities of enlarging to anything other than 4x6 or making note cards or anything other than posting online, basically, is not possible. But at least I have photos and amazing experiences to recall. Enjoy, peace and blessings! Permission granted to copy and use for your own personal wallpaper, screen savers, etc.

Michelle ;-P

Moreton Island, Brisbane QLD

2008-06-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

Found some of my old emails to accompany photos of what I'm talking about. I'll try including those for a few days and see if it is more or less confusing. The posts coming between now 6/25 and 7/3 will be prepped and remotely posted -- ooooh, technological. These photos are of the 4WD bus on Moreton Island, Mt. Tempest and North Beach, Moreton Island.

"Shopping DAY! Found some great goodies to bring home and wanted to hit the last suburb before I pay Sydney prices. Seems to have already jumped for summer in some areas. It's been 2 days without shops, hot, sweaty clothing and no music.
Anyway, we are in Byron Bay just south (?) of Surfers Paradise and since I had two days without a little town to explore, I decided to skip surfing for 3 hours and explore the shops to find some lighter wear. I gave up the sarong and bikini once we hit larger towns - fine for campsites and on a hot bus, but I still have a modicum of modesty in general public. Found some great ones to bring home as they pack well.
For the last two days (I think I last emailed late Tuesday night) we were in a remote area out of Brisbane called Moreton Island. The island is the largest vegetated sand island (you know what I mean - I've been vegetating on beaches so much lately I scarcely have a brain cell left.) Well, that and rum and coke comes in cans like beer here. HAPPY CAMPER! The island is accessible only by ferry and 4WD bus once you are off the ferry. The 4WD is major, with swaths cut through hills where you are below land level. The travel to and from points of interest is horrendous but once you get there OMG! We swam in a freshwater lagoon - no waterfalls - but small fish nibbled your toes, hiked to Moreton lighthouse and then swam in North Beach with body surfing boards (Joe, bringing one on the plane would be a nightmare, we'll order online next summer). They are 1/2 length surfboards that let you float in along the waves. Great for a non-swimmer like me as you can do it in less than 3 feet of water. The area we were in is too cold for jellies, but considerably warmer than Puget Sound, so I was a happy camper - got some salt water mouthwash, but no worries!
The nights here have brought fabulous thunder and lightning storms about 10-11 pm which clear to beautiful weather by 10 a.m. Just in time for us and the area is desperate for water there are drought notices all over Queensland. We hiked to the top of Mt. Tempest (very steep, but it didn't kill the old lady and I slept like a baby! Went sandboarding in a place called the desert, but the sand has so much silica it is not hot to the feet. Then back to the beach for more body surfing. We ended up towing one of the small girls, Ellie in the surf, snoozing on the beach and only a slight sunburn. I have shared the vinegar therapy with the girls and they were shocked how well it worked. Vinegar bottles are in PVC tubes on all beaches to treat jelly stings, so it's easily accessible. Provided by the beach communities as a public courtesy like toilet paper.
I have moments of being VERY homesick, but now I only have 8 days left, 2 until we reach Sydney and I'm on my own for 5 in Auckland. Kind of looking forward to alone time and no real schedule. We've been up early and arrive at most sites late enough to have little time to explore the area. I would have liked to do a city tour here, but couldn't get guide to arrange as he was "otherwise occupied". I've learned a great deal about the ins and outs of things and packing and such from the others. But there are some I will not miss.
The guys were all to share a room with the guide last night and once Adam saw that yhe "gal pal" was moving in, he knocked on our door to see if he could score a bed in our mutliple room. We gave him our last bed and had quite a giggle about sharing a bunk bed with me on top. RISQUE HUMOR, has to substitute for other things. He was taking quite a kidding about sharing with 4 girls. When we all came out this a.m., several of the kids at the hostel clapped and waved at him. He played it up quite well looking very tired and bedraggled.
Anyway, we heard about the latest school shooting in the US. The kids ask me how someone can get a gun into schools and I tell them how crowded classess are and underpaid and stressed teachers are and they just shake their heads.
While riding next to the guide last night, he was explaining that in AU your auto license has a 12 point system and if you perform an infraction, you lose points. Not wearing a seatbelt doubles the infraction and an infraction over holiday weekends doubles as well. So it is possible to lose ones license by losing all 12 points at one time. They are very strict about traffic laws in New South Wales NSW, where we are now.
It is HEAVILY fined to remove sand or shells from any national park beach. That is one thing the TSA luggage search really looks for when leaving the country, so I'm taking photos of the really good ones. I'll have more beach time this afternoon when the kids hang-glide - I know my limits. Hard to get around Auckland in a body cast. I'm taking more time to JUST BE in each area and separate myself from the kids, so that I can share something they did not get to see while they are thrill seeking.

Love, peace and blessings to all!
Michelle Friday 11:09 a.m. ;-P

Off Baby Food and Cleared for Drinks!

2008-06-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

SCORE! Visit to the surgeon was OK today. I can introduce any foods but not high fiber, popcorn, corn, nuts or granola. Anything that "wouldn't travel well from point A to point B". Got my note to travel that I need food on my person and a butt skate for the airport. AND, I can now drink - a good thing when convening with multiple family relations. Woo hoo! Fire up the blender for something other than smoothies!

Drove to North Seattle in crappy traffic, went to dr. appt., stopped by WARM for a bit to do some data entry and have a snack and got home at 1:30 - VERY ready for a nap. And it was all good! If it would have been me on a normal day, I would have done some damage at Northgate in the process, so I'm not back to 100% yet - next appt. for sure! Did notice some new stores to check out as I passed by on the freeway, so the shopping muscles are alive, just flabby.

We'll be packing voraciously Thursday and Friday to get OOT and then we have an 8:00 a.m. p/u for the airport to be ready for. That's an amusing anecdote waiting to happen - my parents, the newlyweds, our boys and me vertical and ready at 8:00 a.m.?! Dan's up at 5 daily, even weekends, so he's a no-brainer - but he's planning to pack Saturday a.m. Can you say PRO-crastinator; he gives me s**t because I was packed for Australia 3 weeks ahead of departure; so we balance. ;-P

WARNING: The following is NOT G-rated. Some years ago, during my early 90s working stint, a list called the boobie list made the rounds when we passed jokes on PAPER, and not the Internet - remember those days?!? Since I've christened the BRA chix, I thought it would be fun to find and post again. And, eureka, you really can find almost anything on the blasted i-net. I'm sure we can come up with other variations as well, with our creative and deviant minds. The first two that come to my mind are tattooed breasts (*o)(o*) and
breast cancer survivor breasts X (o) - ({HUGS} you know who you are! ;-P). Put your additions in comments.

Guide to Breasts (Through the medium of ASCII text):

(o)(o) perfect breasts
-------------------------
( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts
-------------------------
(*)(*) high nipple breasts
-------------------------
(@)(@) big nipple breasts (you know who you are)
-------------------------
oo A cups
-------------------------
{ O }{ O } D cups
-------------------------
(oYo) wonder bra breasts
-------------------------
( ^)( ^) cold breasts
-------------------------
(o)(O) lopsided breasts
--------------------------
(Q)(Q) pierced breasts
-------------------------
(p)(q) breasts w/hanging tassels
-------------------------
(:o)(o) bitten by a vampire breasts
-------------------------
\o/\o/ Grandma's breasts
-------------------------
( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts
-------------------------
< o < o electric shock breasts
-------------------------
|o||o| android breasts
-------------------------
(/)(o) scratched breasts (ouch)
-------------------------
(%)(o) extra nipple breasts
-------------------------
($)($) Elle McPherson's breasts
-------------------------
( o0o )( o0o ) Barbell pierced breast
-------------------------
(^o)(o) zit on your breast
-------------------------
( o Y o ) poses for playboy magazine breasts

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-p 8 >= It's almost bikini weather

Wild and Weird week

2008-06-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

Packing for SD trip, butting heads with the boys who want their first week of summer vacation to be all about them and the energy level is at about 60%. Ever want to just slow the world down to about 1/2 speed so you can catch up? That's where I am this week. The shock of the past several weeks hit me this week and I felt like I was having post-traumatic stress episode, anxiety, moodiness, depression all at once. The simple fact of HAVING to get things done snapped me out of that one quickly and here we go again. Six phone calls to get our Rx refilled, one kid needs shoes AND sandals prior to trip, can't find his goggles, all of the clean laundry I had the boys put away cannot now be located to PACK, and a temperamental washing machine... now I know why we never leave the house for extended trips as a family.

As a form of escape, I started reading some of the "bodice rippers" some pals have lent me for recuperation reading. These are high humor in truest form from the intense alliteration at peak points in the passionate parts, to the names of the characters. This prose is just prime for a parody of epic proportions - not to mention the appendages of the protagonists. The one I'm reading now took 286 pages to get to the first love scene between the main characters - people, by the time they got through their three pages of heaving bosoms and turgid tumescence I needed a shower, a cigarette and a dictionary to look up some of these phrases. NOTE: Don't give romance novels to anyone recovering from heart issues; they may not survive.

Felt good enough to go get a lip/brow wax - 6 weeks of neglect is hard to get control of without desperate measures. Tomorrow is my last meeting with the surgeon to assess the recovery and post-op situation. My first question is "Can I drink yet?" A little more tame than the last meeting. I'll fill you in tomorrow night and share something funny I found online if I can find it again.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Whitsunday Island Sailing trip

2008-06-19T17:21:00.001-07:00

Ian is getting sprung early from Mary Bridge! He will be home Friday and go in weekly for treatments. He has been a real trooper during this period and his body is responding well to the chemotherapy. Many thanks for the prayers and holding his family in our hearts!

I was up 6 hours today and went to the dentist, the bad news is I have a toothache, the good news is it is just an overactive nerve that can be topically desensitized. I was fearing a root canal on top of everything else. Whew! Maybe my luck is holding out! The boys last day of school is Friday and Joe will transfer to Federal Way Public Academy for 8th grade. Nick will stay at KMVA until he joins Joe for 6th grade - he'll be in 5th next year. Summer will be busy with sports camps, some math skills classes for Joe and possibly science summer classes, a trip to South Dakota and a possible camping trip to Orcas Island. So much to do and only 8 weeks of school break?!

Your reward is more Australia photos! Today we are in Airlie Beach and take a sailing trip to the Whitsunday Islands. The Whitsundays is a popular vacation spot for native Aussies and I can see why, beautiful pristine beaches, amazing resorts (way out of my $ range) and friendly folks.

Meg, Sylvia and Joe BBQ kabobs on the beach for the hungry masses - since we didn't eat until 9 p.m., most had preciously hit the bottle shop and any form of protein was hastily consumed without regard for taste or doneness. I stuck to roasted veggies that night as the gals were not the most thorough cooks... such is the luck of the draw with communal cooking.

Took this sailing vessel to the Whitsundays. It carried a crew of 8 and about 50 passengers and was a very soothing trip. I napped both ways on the deck. Luckily, I was buddied with Caroline a med student who was fastidious about sunscreen application every 2 hours, so I didn't burn to a crisp.

Petra, Jurgen, Caroline and Me. By that time, the four of us were getting tired of the other 10, so it was good to be apart for several hours break. We were kind of the four odd men out. Jurgen spoke mainly German and the British kids spoke too quickly for him, Petra was 30 - nuf said and Caroline was responsible and fun to be around.
We clicked and would separate when the "kids" got on our nerves.

Whitsunday Island Beach - the sand had so much silica, it was not hot to the touch on your feet, the water was pure turquoise and clear. This is the beach I visualized during my MRI and CT scans. So good to have that in my imagination to pull up for those periods. Never knew how useful it would come to be in the near future!

Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Back Down Under! Mission Beach Sunrise

2008-06-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

This is a SUNRISE on the Pacific! One of the highlights of my trip - I had to get up at 5 a.m. to capture it and I shot photos for 45 minutes. One of those "moments" of the trip with no cost but my investment of time and awe. Like the Mastercard commercial: Airline ticket to Australia: $4500 on Mastercard; tour expenses: $1200 on Mastercard; seeing your first ever SUNRISE over the Pacific in 40 years: Priceless.

My cohorts for the excursion of the morning, Petra and Natalie. Petra was so sunburned from the previous day's whitewater raft trip that she was awake when we were heading to the beach and I showed her that vinegar takes the sting out of sunburn. Bottles of vinegar are posted along AUS beaches to alleviate jelly stings. Nat was from Wales and Petra from Amsterdam.

These photos are from a sunrise over the Pacific at 5:00 a.m. on the first week in AUS. The birds were making so much ruckus and the humidity was climbing even at that ungodly hour, being up was better than being in a sticky sleeping bag and we got first showers to boot.

This is a kookaburra who posed for us and watched the sunrise as well. This is the closest I ever got to one and they have a heck of a laugh. These birds are AUS national alarm clocks.

Two more days of school for the boys and I'll sort through more photos to post tomorrow. Peace and Blessings,

Michelle ;-P

How am I feeling - 2 weeks post-op

2008-06-18T11:31:00.000-07:00

I keep getting asked how I feel and hadn't really thought about it much. Physically, the scars are healing well considering what was done, I feel some intestinal progress just under the skin surface which can be unsettling, but glad it is working as intended. Emotionally, relieved that this recovery period will be the most difficult part of the return to full health/activity, a new sense of priorities to take care of myself and become dedicated to daily exercise, eager to enjoy the boys for the summer break and enjoy being a mom again.

Mentally, I feel much more ambitious than my body can support - I want to leap and turn cartwheels and go do all sorts of things now that I'm without cancer that I could not muster interest in last month; but my body will revolt if I try, so I'm just making a long list of things to do when I can do them. I took a good look in the mirror last night and 6 weeks off daily maintenance of the little things is a lot of energy to restore - legs need to be shaved, brows and lip waxed, the gray hairs are in far ahead of the coloring schedule - no small wonder I've been under a LITTLE stress recently. The boys' rooms are toxic waste dumps and the housekeeping, well, it's non-existent. But in the big picture, all is well. In a few weeks, I'll be hustling at full capacity (mid-July), and can recover what's wacky now in a dedicated week of work... I haven't even considered the backlog there, the first day back will be a doozy - too ambitious for this week.

Spiritually, I still feel very blessed, thankful and on the right track. I see a need to find a purpose even more strongly, probably from all the Oprah magazines I've been reading. Why have an article about a destitute women's village in Africa right next to cellulite reduction program cream and pills - our values are so skewed; they need assistance to survive and would be thrilled to have enough reserve fat to form cellulite. We wouldn't survive a week in the life of a really impoverished woman in the third world. We have no idea how fortunate we are to be born here, have access to medical care, food, family, conveniences, roads, traffic, and all the blights of progressive society to complain about.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Mission Beach, QLD in 10/07

2008-06-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

When we were not housed in hostels, we "beach camped" this was our first stop - Mission Beach Caravan Park. I would have been happy to stay here for a few days - it was our longest stop of 3 days. The kids sky dove onto the beach, white water rafted and hung in town and at the beach. I shopped for a bikini, saw some waterfalls (!) and hung at the beach. This time was when we started hitting the high humidity at 7:30 a.m. Sarongs and bikinis no matter what shape you are in.

This is our oh so cozy travel bus for 14 passengers and the blue trailer held all of our worldly possessions en route - tents, sleeping bags and pads, cooking utensils and FOOD!

Milla Milla Falls - the highlight of the day. The kids were white water rafting and our guide took us on a three waterfall loop so we got to see some of the natural beauty of the area - don't ask where it is, I have no clue - it was a good thing we were driving with a local.

The pool was a welcome amenity with the humidity. We hung at the deep end and drank beer at the hottest part of the day - no glass near the pool but cans are OK and I never drink beer except when it is the only thing to cool you off.

Sylvia, Megan and Jurgen at far table, Alex, Charlotte and Charlie at near. Waiting for the rest of the group to break camp and travel.

We have a really great sunrise OVER the Pacific tomorrow a.m. to share...

Michelle ;-P

Escape to Australia anyone?

2008-06-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

This weather sure sucks for June, and my energy level sagged so I took a step back today. Drove boys to school, bed, tea, chat with Lucy, bed, pick up boys, send Joe for one errand on the way home, bed, phone calls, computer work, shower, dinner, bed. What an exciting day... Up for an Australian escape? Good, me too!

Nat, Caroline, Alex, Charlotte cold and wet on glass-bottom boat trip.

Me with giant clam shell on Michaelmas Cay.
$15K fine to take that puppy home - that would have blown a big hole in the vacation budget on the first day of tour.

From left Sylvia, Charlie, Petra, Meg, me Adam, Charlie, Ellie (blonde w/back to us) we are signing the releases to do snorkeling and scuba. I didn't do either, having just met my group and not sure who would truly stick with a new partner - I observed. It was also about 60 degrees and a bit nippy.

Staghorn coral from glass-bottom boat trip. No other photos came out well and I really missed the sea turtle. That one had to be experienced live.

Weather improved the next day as we hit Mission Beach. Camped in an RV park and it was the best so far b/c it had a pool. We hit the humid weather then and spent HOURS just hanging in the pool and viewing Mirra Mirra Falls. MUCH better photos come tomorrow!

Michelle ;-P

Set your pace, it's not a race...

2008-06-16T08:20:00.001-07:00

Had a busy weekend, a minor setback Saturday night and I'm sticking to an easy pace now. Drove the boys to school this morning and got up at normal time... now it's time for another nap. Found a note from my days in the hospital when I was w/o computer with a coherent joke... What do you call a compulsive emailer/blogger with no computer access? Textually frustrated ;-P Ba da bing! And that was even on pain meds.

The BRA chix are mobilized and have a plan to take care of Joanne's family - we are good on a regular day, but when we are really in the zone, WE ROCK! All I'm doing is errands and laundry for the next two weeks, then after we return from South Dakota, I'll be up for more serious duty. Ian is enjoying the play room, library and other amenities at Mary Bridge and taking in his chemo. Parents weathered the first weekend of duty swapping well, we got their freezer stocked with food, lawn mowed and support persons alerted and scheduled.

Planned to go in to work one day this week, but it may have to wait until Saturday when someone else can transport and I only have to use the brain while I am there. I'm a one-trick pony these days, either drive or complete a task, not both. People keep telling me to pace myself and I felt great Saturday and over extended - walked 1.5 miles with Joe, baked, tried to get by with no naps to improve night sleep - and it backfired big time. Panic attack at 3 a.m., confused pain meds., insomnia, pain - not a good mix. I slept all of 3 hours and then went to church - which was actually the best thing for me. I got energized just being in my faith community, lots of love for me and our family in that building. We are blessed!

I'm not on the computer with photo access, so the Australia photos will continue tomorrow.
Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Time for a Vacation Break

2008-06-14T12:27:00.001-07:00

By request, no bad news today and more Australia photos, with explanations. We are going to start from day 1 and go forward as long as it takes. So, these are from my first day in Cairns. I was the wacky gal walking down the street pinching herself because I could not believe I was finally here! I was just amazed at the public art on the Esplanade, the tropical flowers that we only see in documentaries and just the smell, the feel, the sound of tropical birds making a heck of a racket from every tree - and these birds do not keep banker's hours, they make noise whenever the impulse arises.

Some kind of trailing orchid???

Public art at the play area on the Cairns esplanade.

My first hostel, not bad, but things got better as the trip progressed. The first night I needed a hotel within walking distance of where my tour met at 7:00 a.m. the next day. This photo is from the departing hotel just across the street.

Just a street in Cairns, my point for the boys is that it doesn't look much different except for the palm trees.

Play ground on the Cairns Esplanade.

This will be good therapy to go back through my trip day by day. Tomorrow will feature the tour group and going to the Great Barrier Reef - it was cold and cloudy that day, so the photos are not fantastic. Energy level is good today, Joe and I walked 1.5 miles this morning with only 3 short stops. I slept 10 hours last night and feel some semblance of normal except I feel like someone stabbed me in the lower abdominal region from time to time. It's getting better every day, I'm getting stronger every day and tomorrow we party!

Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

It takes rain to make a rainbow...

2008-06-13T12:45:00.000-07:00

Just got a call from one of the BRA Chix. Ian went in this a.m. for a bone marrow draw and he has leukemia. He will stay at Mary Bridge and have chemo for the next 10 days and then we reassess to see what the next steps are. Joanne is staying at the hospital for now, Paul will do the home thing with their other child, Rachel. The BRA Chix are having a mobilization meeting by 3-way phone call on Sunday. Between the 3 of us, we'll get it covered and do what we do best, take care of each other for as long as it takes, doing whatever it takes.

I really wish the outcome were different. I just had a feeling that 2 positive oncology reports were just not possible in the same week, darn it. My own experience has taught me a great deal and we'll learn even more from this journey.

Please continue to pray for good outcome for Ian, strength and rest for Joanne, patience and grace for the rest of the world in dealing with the Bridges family. Love, peace and blessings - and there are small blessings even in this experience, we just haven't found them yet.

Michelle ;-P

Thursday doc recap in a little more detail...

2008-06-13T01:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.babycenter.com/0_cord-blood-banking-an-overview_1362261.bc
Information about cord blood donation - forward to anyone you know who is pregnant or making efforts to get that way.

This week is a good news/bad news: Pal Ian is having bone marrow draw Friday morning. Seventh circle of hell for his parents and more of that infernal waiting for results. PRAY! I will not complain about pain today in honor of Ian. I wish I could drink Bailey's in honor of Joanne. Later...

Had the idea of researching cord blood donation and it looks like it has made great progress since I looked into it when pregnant with Nick. At that time, there was no way to donate the cord blood and the placenta was "medical waste"; unless of course, you wished to pay a private company $400/yr to store it for your private use. If Ian ends up needing bone marrow transplant it looks like this is the new trend instead of finding cooperative matching live donors. Less invasive, less costly and less chance of rejection. Interesting how something we have always wasted can be recycled.

The status of my doc visits yesterday is "it's all good". Surgeon removed 12" of my large intestine including some areas of diverticulitis and 27 lymph nodes, good margins to check for other spread of cancer. All came back negative. Healing is going well, I will be able to resume most all activities, exercise, even work in mid-July. Except housework - vacuuming, hauling heavy objects - that needs to wait 8-10 weeks. Darn. I had a long list of questions for the surgeon and he went down the list answering each one fully and completely, even with humor on some. He was THRILLED the pathology news was so good and seemed proud of his work on my abdomen. I'm thrilled even with the scars, and may even proudly wear my bikini from Australia this summer... in the privacy of my own back yard ;-P

The oncologist doesn't have all of the pathology tests back yet, so I need to go back in mid-July for those. The ones he has back look good, it was a Stage 1 T2 tumor and he's checking to see if it has an 18Qminus marker as well as if it is diploid or anuloid. HUH? The tumor had grown into but not through the muscle wall and was contained from spreading to lymph nodes. The other tests will show if it is genetic mutation and if it was a rapid or slow growing cancer. The thought of both docs is that it could have been there from 3-10 years before starting to show symptoms. Since some people NEVER show symptoms, I was actually lucky. Recurrence rate based on those results put me in about 10% chance of recurrence within 5 years. I will have to have annual blood tests, CT scan and after 5 years will be considered cured with no recurrence. Should be a piece of cake if I follow through on my plans to make me a more hostile host to cancer cells - the old diet and exercise game.

I finally feel like I can breathe again. Sleep is a bit elusive - note the time of this post - but will get back to normal. I feel I need to find a purpose for why this occurred and what I'm supposed to do about it. For now, that is support Joanne and her family while they help Ian.

Getting the whole family in on that act. My dad was sent to Archie McPhee's last week to collect stuff 8yo boy appropriate - who better for the job. The only place in town to get propeller beanies, chicken catapults and other wacky stuff. Mom and I spent Monday separating items into mailable boxes and apparently, he has already received 3 - way to go, TEAM PHENICIE!

Looking forward to celebrating with my faith community on Sunday! It's been a rapid and bumpy ride, but seems to be smoothing to a dull roar now! AMEN!

Feeling lots of PEACE and many BLESSINGS!
Michelle ;-P

Check up with surgeon and oncologist today

2008-06-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

Surgeon/Moore: All looks good, I can drive next week. No hot tubs, swimming or bathing for a month; but I can shower, so no need to stand upwind.

Oncologist/Dong: No chemo necessary, come back in 1 month for more pathology results. Run blood tests and CT scans annually and to check for any recurrence (less than 10% chance), after 5 years of clear checkups I'm cured. No more lab/blood work necessary for either doc.

Good, because they stuck me 3 times and I was not cooperative. Didn't get enough blood to run a chem panel, but enough to do a blood count. Probably due to being tired and dehydrated from being up all day. I should sleep well tonight. Didn't sleep until 4 a.m. last night.

Tired, going to bed at 7, and will update the blog in the a.m. Just getting the basics out to the masses tonight. It's been a LONG day... ;-P

Is it Wednesday already?

2008-06-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

American Cancer Society Information about Colo-Rectal Cancer:
http://acs.p.delivery.net/m/p/acs/email/preview.asp?cid=12766623636&pid=724&mid=1099756672&msf=H

This seems like a long link, but I have been looking for a quick link for colon cancer information and POOF! This morning it appeared in my email box. I'm having a hard day, more pain waiting for that first... evacuation of the system and I'm a little tense. Those of you who have given birth know the feeling. "Whew, glad that's over. What? You mean I have to poop before I can go home?! Yea right, those muscles are in Tahiti right now and don't wish to be disturbed." Anyway, same general feeling, different situation.

Yesterday was busy and I may have overdone it. Dan was my babysitter on a flex-day from work and we made 2 lasagnes and delivered to Jenny (of the two kids having tonsilectomies BRA Chix). She greeted me at the door with "Aren't we supposed to be bringing YOU food?!" It was a good outing and good to get out of the house, but for some reason my Tylenol PMs did not work to let me sleep last night, so I'll be catching up today. Tomorrow is full of Dr. appts and I'll be in Seattle all day. I may have Joe type the update when I get home and dictate from the couch. Sounds like a plan.

Questions about services at St. C
1) Attire - come as you are - Bra Chix, let's leave the bras INSIDE the clothing for formality sake... we can take a photo out of doors afterwards if the spirit moves us.
2) Bring - yourself, any family, and a celebratory spirit. If you really must bring something make it a non-perishable food item for the food bank. We've noticed they have no cookies, something Dan set out to change yesterday. Peanut butter, tuna, soups, chili, etc. are always in high demand.
3) How formal is the service? Formal? St. C.? Not at all. We give it a good attempt at Easter and Christmas or if the Bishop visits, but flexibility and openness is what clinched it for us. We have a 3 yo Mason who wanders throughout the whole church sitting on various laps of his fans, it is a very open layout and relaxed, no kneelers, no pews, comfortable chairs. Try it, it will be a good fit.
4) Do we have to commit an offering? Not required. If you feel moved to, that is between you and God.
5) How long do you plan to party? I plan to be home for a nap by 12-12:30 at the latest and will be pooped from just getting dressed, getting there and participating.

Peace and Blessings, my first nap of the day is calling...
Michelle ;-P

It was STAGE 1 !!! GOOD NEWS !!!

2008-06-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

Phone call today from surgeon at 12 p.m. says the pathology shows the cancer was in stage 1 which means contained in the tumor/tissue which was removed from my large intestine. Very likely no chemotherapy or radiation will be necessary. We go to oncologist appt. Thursday to cross t's and dot i's, but that should be the end of this adventure.

I have spent most of the day on the phone, emailing and texting the news to anyone and everyone. Feeling more relaxed now, that I can let out the breath I have been holding to see what comes next.

Mom was here when I received the call and she is visibly relieved. It has been a heck of a last 30 days for my family as well. The boys were glad to hear the news but no real reaction. Everyone else has been very excited and relieved after I explain what exactly that means.

So, as promised, there will be champagne, mimosas and cake after the 10:00 Mass at St. Columba's Episcopal Church this weekend. All are welcome and the mood will be festive, we won't tell your deity of choice, if you wish to join in the celebratory atmosphere. St. Columba's is located at 26715 Military Road S., Kent, WA 98032 (253) 854-9912. No need to RSVP or let us know you plan to attend, just be there! Mass starts at 10 and we adjourn to the reception room for refreshments about 11:30-11:45.

We'd love to see you Sunday and celebrate the blessings of friends,
family, good health, living in a country with access to excellent health care
and all the wonderful things life entails! This will be a celebration of life and a
celebration for all who supported us during this time of challenge.

Feeling a little weak, a little pain, but VERY, VERY blessed today!
Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Phinally, photos as promised...

2008-06-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

Hey all,
Had some cake and ice cream for Joe's b-day topped off with a pain pill, mmmm. Then Joe got Guitar Hero for his b-day so we've been rockin' out; mom's held her rocking to the recliner. But I found my camera and uploaded the photos from the week including Dr. Yum... so without further adieu...

This is Dr. Moore the lefty surgeon who got rid of the tumor for us... now you see why it was worth going to North Seattle. How far am I willing to go to get a cute guy to touch my butt...

This is the anesthesiologist, he asked what my drink of preference was and said the pre- anesthesia would feel like a well-blended Bailey's and hot cocoa... whoo hoo!

That's the last thing I remember... then it was party time.

Feeling no pain just before going in or just after coming out, I never know if I'm coming or going, but that is TMI... I think this is post-op recovery. Hang 10/ILY to my peeps!

<-- ice chips, the delicacy of the day for Wed-Fri.
The anxious parents: they start by waiting for you for 9 months and end up waiting for you for the rest of your life, they look OK for the week they have had. Still exhibiting a sense of humor, that's what makes my family rock!

Sunday 6/8 - 4 days post-op, she looks pretty good for a chick who had her insides all whacked to heck.

I may not have as much to post for a few days, but you'll hear from me after the meeting on Thursday. Peace out! Blessings and much love to all!

Michelle ;-P

HAPPY LUCKY 13 JOE!

2008-06-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it has only been 30 days since the colonoscopy? We've travelled so many places in that time. Thanks for every warm thought, supportive gesture and act of faith. I'm doing well, thanks. The pain level reminds me of PMS cramps and will be a distant memory in a few weeks. We find out Thursday if any further medical intervention is necessary like chemo or radiation. I'm continuing the positive thoughts and hoping to hear "we got it all". THAT would be cause for celebration. We have fellowship after every 10:00 service at St. Columba and all are welcome. When we're hosting a "Michelle's all clear" event, you will be invited. We won't tell your deity of choice (or your parents) you attended an Episcopal service and you may just like it enough to stay! ;-P

The events of the past month have taught me many things and have changed forever my response to hearing bad medical news about anyone. I always felt like I should leave people alone during medical issues, now I know that the distraction of an email or phone call puts worries away for a few minute and ARE welcome. Phone calls to let them know what's going on with your own kids are a GOOD distraction, especially if they are amusing. We tend to feel like we shouldn't bother those who are ill and I now know that those distractions kept me sane and reminded me that I was not alone in my shock about the situation.

Even when you didn't know what to say, just agreeing that this situation sucks and you were sorry it was happening was enough. Most of all, it has caused me to realize that every person I encounter may have something like this going on in their life at any given time and I need to cut people some slack. I also learned that you get much better medical care being kind, gracious and amusing than being bitchy. The medical professionals are doing jobs I would not do for any wage and are not appreciated, something Denise reminded me about police officers recently. An attitude of gratitude is on our family list for how to cope for this month and I'm trying to make it a continuing habit.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY FUZZY SLIPPERS
TO THE TOP OF MY FRIZZY HAIR!!! ;-P

Today is Joe's 13th b-day and if you told me last year what this year had in store... I would have never believed you. We'll measure him this evening at dinner and see if he hits the 6' mark.

A prayer request - we have done so well on the prayers and I've had more than my fair share dedicated to me. Please shift that effort and focus to Ian. He is the son of my BRA chick, JoAnne and he's going to the oncologist on Thursday too to find out why he has compression fractures in his spine causing him great pain. If only one of us can get good news that day, I'm hoping it's Ian and his family. This would be so much worse happening to a child. I can handle whatever comes next. Pray for a relief for his pain, good care for his condition, courage and strength for his family and God to wrap them in His strong arms, care for them and give them grace to deal with the next steps to help Ian.

Peace, love, blessings and positive energy...
Michelle ;-P

Home Again and in my Own Bed!

2008-06-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

I'm home... It's 5:00 Saturday and I arrived here about 3 p.m. My parents chauffeured me home and Dan and the boys had the pizza boxes and empty pop cans all cleaned up. Actually, the place is spotless and germ-free - they had a housekeeper come do a bang-up job. Here's a recap of what has happened since Wednesday.

Wednesday 6/4 - Surgery day. Dan and I dropped the boys at school, he dropped me off with Ms. Hayes my newlywed sister and she drove me to Seattle. I was weak and zoned out most of the drive. We checked in at 10:00 and I was never so glad to get an IV. Met the surgeon and Anesthesiologist (photo will be posted tomorrow), rolled into surgery at 12:30. Surgery was completed by 3:30 p.m. 12 inches of my colon was removed and resectioned, the tumor and all damaged tissue was sent to pathology, the my appendix was also removed. The appendix should lie down in the pelvic area, mine was up near my liver and would have been serious if I ever had appendicitis mostly because ER crew might not have looked for it there. So it was removed as a precautionary step - added 5 minutes to the procedure.

I was in recovery and spoke to the boys at 4:30 to tell them all was well. Family left about 9:00 and I went to sleep. At 10:30, I was awakened with the sensation of no feeling in my legs. I could move my toes, but numb from buttocks to ankles from the epidural delivering my pain meds. Asked for an anesthesia consult and finally got one at 2:30 a.m. My main reason for panic was that my paternal grandfather was a paraplegic from a bad epidural. So there was understandable panic. Removed epidural the next day at 12 and legs were back to normal in 5 minutes. Didn't sleep much the first night.

Thursday - Second day passed some gas and got only ice chips, slept A LOT in the afternoon and evening. Boys and Dan visited Thursday night for about 1/2 hour just to reassure them that Mom was fine.

Friday - got out and walked around today, took a shower, ate some liquid diet (green jello), I may get out of here Saturday.

Saturday - EGGS for breakfast, baked potato for lunch and watched Pretty Woman until discharged at 2:00 p.m.

The oncology/surgery ward at Northwest in fairly small and the surgeon would make me his last stop for the night before taking off - hitting his star patient last. We'd shoot the breeze and check all the vitals and assess what I needed to do tomorrow to be out Saturday. I realized Friday that only 3 of us on the floor were ambulatory and heading toward discharge, the rest were very ill folks. I haven't been able to pray for myself, but found it easy to pray for others I saw there. Besides, I knew how many were praying on my behalf, and how much it helped us.

The BRA chicks visited late Friday night, Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick Friday evening and Mom and Dad daily - MANY THANKS, I had ample time to rest and recuperate. Mom got the fun jobs like helping me shower and dress.

Many thanks to all who pitched in while I was away - the boys look none the worse for wear and Dan is a bit ragged but did well on his own. I'll be on a "toddler diet" for several weeks, no driving while I'm on pain meds, no housework for a month and only light exercise. There are more foods that I CAN have than those I cannot - no high fiber, raw veggies, nuts, popcorn, etc. lots of soft/mild digested food. Officially, a mechanical soft food diet.

More insightful musings tomorrow in retrospect of this whole adventure...
Peace and blessings,
Michelle

zzzz...snorkwha?

2008-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

Oh crack. I forgot to post for two days, Mom is going to KILL me when she gets home. Snap.

Anywho, she is doing fine. We went to see her on...Thursday, was it? Yeah, because Thursday was color day...But yeah, she couldn't eat until she farted. We found that if you used them in different ways, you'd only need about half as much stuff as you do now in a hospital room.

Actually, Mom had gotten a surgical marker. She drew what is apparently her signature (;-P) on my right hand. I, who couldn't see it right, thought she meant a different one(,:P), which I drew on my left.

The next day, I get up, go to the bathroom, and there are little purple colons and capital P's all over my face. Lesson learned.

But yeah, Mom is fine. We had to clean up the house yesterday as she is getting home today, and the cleaner will be here in a few hours to do the rest.

Joe Chemo

The Climax!

2008-06-04T18:57:00.001-07:00

For you...people who are dirty-minded, no, that's not what it is. This is Joe again, in case you're wondering.

I just got off the phone with Mom, it's rang...ringed...rung...more times today than I remember, in the space limit of an hour. So we're watching You Me and Dupree, right? Great movie, but don't get me off topic.

Anywho, Mindy (Dad's friend from work) calls me up. I answer the phone, one foot slowly slipping off that big bouncy exercise ball thingy. She asks if the surgery's done, I say it is, and she tells us we can talk to her anytime. I hang up after saying goodbye.

That was a waste of space, but what the crap, I gotta type this out ASAP.

Less than a minute later, I swear, Mom's sister Denise calls us up. At first I thought she was asking for news on Mom, so I tell her the same thing as Mindy; the surgery's over, everything went fine. She interrupts me to say, "Do you want to talk to your mom? Her voice is really soft, though."

I nearly wet my jeans, no lie.

I turn to Dad and Nick, and ask them if they want to talk to Mom. Dad tells Nick to pick up the other phone so we can both talk to her at once.

Her voice sounds as if it's three yards away from the phone, as if a nurse thought she was contagious and wouldn't let her touch it. I am at a loss for words. Compared to Mom at this moment, Nick and I sound like we're shouting through megaphones.

Amazingly, even though this all happened less than five minutes ago, I can't remember any of what we said, except that I said I was going to update the blog (kept true to my word, obviously), and she asked to talk to Dad. So I hung up, then ran upstairs and got on the laptop. And here I am, typing these words.

POST SUMMARY: Loads of people are calling for news about Mom. The surgery went fine, she is recuperating for a few days in the hospital. We talked to Mom, and she sounds relieved that it's over.

One question: Can I have a hug? Either that, or some cold medicine. If ever there was a time to lose consciousness...it's now.

Joe

TUESDAY - this time tomorrow I'll be heavily medicated

2008-06-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's Tuesday. Scary, anxious, nervous, wondering what I have forgotten to do... to pass the time and keep my mind of my delectable liquid diet, I've been doing laundry and sorting my underwear drawers. Hey, it's something we never do and it's mindless. Finally got rid of some of those creepies and the ones that you always bury at the bottom of the drawer and only wear on laundry day.
And now, a word to my tumor - you, yes, you, I know you are there and your time is limited. When you are evicted, take any and all of your friends with you. I don't want to see, hear or feel any residual effects from you ever again. I am going to make several healthy changes to make my body a less susceptible host for you. You stay away from my friends, my family and my kids. You have taken enough from us already and I'm through with you. I have in the past and will continue to contribute to research to eliminate you. In the past I sent $ and participated in walks as an insurance policy thinking, "If I walk, write a check, etc., I'll never have to deal with cancer first-hand." So much for that plan.
Yesterday, I was in a funk of what if's I don't even want to enumerate. I had to keep telling myself 95% of what you worry about never happens; it's the 5% you never even think of that blows you out of the water. The positive, strong armored exterior is slipping a bit. It's time to trust someone else to make it right, and I have a hard time relinquishing control and not knowing what comes next. This is the trial of faith. It's still there but there are certain parts of certain prayers I'm struggling with "thy will", "now and at the hour..."
Joe shared at church that he would prefer I not have surgery. Some people were really concerned about this and alerted me. We had a chat about the ramifications of having and not having surgery. What he meant is that he wishes there was an easier way to get rid of this for me - like cutting a really big fart. Me too!
I also had a chat with Nick last night. He seems to be distancing himself from us and I was concerned. His main point was "you'll be closer and not gone as long as when you went to Australia, but I won't get any cool gifts when you get back." True. Just a wiped-out mom for a few weeks.
Dan is harder. We'll chat tonight and tomorrow. He sees me as strong and independent and gets flustered when that image conflicts with his reality. But there are some things that have to be covered, just in case.
OK, back to business. Off to get a relaxation massage and then home to begin pre-surgical processes. Enjoy chewable solid food on my behalf, but don't tell me about it... one more cup of chicken broth and I'll cluck.
Peace, blessings and pray that we hear "we got it all".
Michelle ;-P

Game Plan for Wednesday

2008-06-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

I'm on the surgery countdown... 3,2,1 The day of surgery I'll ride with my sister to the hospital and we'll meet our parents there. Dan and I will drop the boys at school first and Dan will go to work that day, at my request, then he is closest to take care of the boys. This is one day I want them with a parent and no one else. My parents and Denise will be at the hospital during surgery from 10:00 on. We actually start the procedure at 1:00 and I should be out 4-5 hours later. My family has 3 contacts to touch base with when I am in recovery - Lucy for church family, Joanne for BRA chix and Dan. Denise plans to drop by and touch base with the boys to answer any questions first-hand on her way home from Seattle. Dan and the boys won't know much until after 6 or so. Monday I'm trying to schedule a massage, Tuesday I'll be in disposed most of the day after 12 p.m., probably won't sleep much trying to arrange last minute things and anxiety over unknown, and Wed. I have a date with Dr. Yum! Looking forward to getting this puppy out, but there is some anxiety/apprehension of not knowing what comes next. You know me, I need to have a plan in place and this time I need to turn it over to a greater power and let it happen. Not easy. I'll probably make a post Tuesday night in the wee hours... Monday will be busy.

Peace and blessings! ;-P
Michelle

FIVE Days and Counting...

2008-05-31T16:51:00.000-07:00

Not much news to share now that all the testing is over, just the waiting game again... appetite is back and being put to good use this weekend - Monday starts liquid diet, all the chicken broth, juice, water, jello and tea I can handle... "the end is worth the means" is the mantra of the week. Remind me of that when I feel like a truck hit me.

<--(Coff's Harbor, QLD, Aus)

Saturday - breakfast and a walk with Jenny, Indiana Jones with the guys (all 3), a nap and dinner with my folks for seafood. Pretty good for any day. Have been getting some questions about hospital visits, flowers, books, etc. Most people are respecting my request for no visitors at the hospital and tell me they understand. If you have to travel more than 10 minutes and with the price of gas what it is (expletive deleted) - wait until I am at home, please.

Flowers - we are going to have enough to transport home and take care of during my recuperation and I have a black thumb, inherited from my mom, Diane. She's going to feel it's a bad omen if she can't keep my flowers vibrant and perky... Here's a better plan. Your food bank can put to good use a gift card or cash what you would have spent on flowers - and I'm not tax-deductible... but they are.

Books and books on CD or tape - excellent ideas, be sure your name is on the case, drop them by the house and I will return them. If you want them passed forward, let me know that too. If you find a good one at the library, send me the title. Remember, laughing may not be welcome reflex after abdominal surgery. My dad may require duct tape to comply.

I've found a few good ones to recommend over the last few weeks - AfterShock: When you or someone you know gets a devastating diagnosis, Heaven Talks Back (Humor), The Year of Living Biblically (humor), Walking in Circles before Lying Down (What Women Want meets the dog pound - humorous novel about a women who can hear what dogs are thinking.)

<--(SandBoarding in the Desert of Moreton Island, near Brisbane)

Prayers for the week would be that my surgeon and his staff are having relaxing weekends, the PET scan results come in sooner rather than later and are dull reading, and peace, patience and grace for my family in the coming weeks.

(Cairns Esplanade Shots of Lagoon Park (above) and Flag Pavilion (below) - 10/01 in AUS)

You were right, these are a good distraction and put new images in my imagination for later recall. Another one of those round to it things I hadn't yet made it to. Plus, looking forward to times when reviewing photos is all we have to talk about!

Peace and blessings!
Michelle

P.S. - If Joe seems a bit callous or combative in his posts, don't be concerned. He's adjusting to a very unnerving situation, 13 and flexing his teen angst and sarcastic humor muscles. He'll outgrow it someday... and we'll love him through it, just like our parents did for us. ;-P

Testing is done, another weekend break...

2008-05-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

Had the PET scan this a.m., received anointing of the sick this afternoon - priest forgot his oil, so we used extra virgin olive oil... it still works even though I'm not. Back to normal diet for a few days, out with the folks for SALAD and FISH tomorrow and back to liquid diet next week, then Wednesday the stinker is outta there.

Someone had the great idea that I should post an Australia photo a day... if I don't get through the good ones, we can continue later...

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Awesome! Post from Joe

2008-05-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hi. This is Joe here, unlike the aforementioned Michelle, I am posting this time. An idea is floating around my head about starting a blog to..."compete", if you will, with hers.

She's watching me. I better shut up and type what she's saying...

Just learning how to navigate around here.

We have nothing else to say. Except..."I want the girl on the short bus in a straaaaaaait-jacket..."

Go on YouTube, search "Cake Short Skirt Long Jacket". The above is a work-in-progress parody of that knockout song. Joe out.

What has no carbs and no sugar? My diet today.

2008-05-29T16:51:00.000-07:00

In preparation for tomorrow's PET scan I need to have no carbs and no sugar today until midnight and then only water after midnight. When I hung up and thought about it... what can I eat that has no carbs and no sugar? Air? Water? Ice? Turns out meat, sugar-free jello, tea, water, spices... guess we are having steak and jello with iced tea for dinner. This is the last test before surgery, last day of work for a month, and time to get an easy-care haircut. Mohawk, anyone?

So a PETscan is a process where you are injected with an isotope solution and it "lights up" any cancer cells in your body. We are hoping for only one lightbulb; not a Christmas tree effect. Every test so far has confirmed that the intestinal tumor is the only one. Let's keep that luck rolling!

Peace and blessings,
Michelle ;-P

I have a brain! and I'm not the scarecrow

2008-05-28T12:46:00.001-07:00

Last post for today - I promise, but I have some good news after yesterday's fiasco. The MRI's we completed on boobs and brain show only the things that ARE SUPPOSED to be there, no cancer cells! I was just glad they were able to verify a brain in there - at times over the years, I know my dad has wondered. Still having the head to toe scan Friday a.m. and then Monday and Tuesday it's surgical prep (you don't want to know what that en"tails" - big enough hint?) then Wednesday it's off to see the Wizard, but no flying monkeys... they were yesterday.

Peace, blessings and big celebratory ? of your choice,
Michelle ;-P

What are BRA Chix?- relax it's the old train photo...

2008-05-28T10:55:00.001-07:00

What's all this about BRA Chicks and what do I have to do to be one? There is an initiation now... we just developed it on Monday....

I've been asked - even by one of them, what are BRA Chix and how do I get to be one? My BRA chicks are my main support system, Jenny Righi (Left) Kathleen Kinney (hiding behind me), and JoAnne Bridges (in green sweater). We have known each other since we were in a church play group at St. John's when Nick was under 3. We have weathered multiple pregnancies (not mine - WHEW!), all forms of child rearing and the pitfalls and triumphs associated with it, dealt with Y chromosomes on a daily basis, and made time for just us girls on a regular basis. We even had a serious car accident together in January and all survived to laugh about it, except Kathleen's van was the only casualty. We've camped together, eaten way too much, drank way too many foofy drinks, celebrated big and little birthdays, and just become enmeshed in each other's lives for the good stuff as well as the bad.

I christened them my BRA chix because we all need good support for our appendages and the same applies to friends, they serve the same purpose - lift and separate and make you look good while keeping things under control. The BRA part could stand for so many things - Beautiful, Reliable, Adventurous... Brazen, Raunchy, Amazing... Bold, Radiant, Admirable... it doesn't really matter what it stands for just that they are there doing their job like a good support garment. No wonderBras need apply and Victoria's Secret is for wimps... my girls are full-on, industrial strength... no frills, thrifty and you hesitate to throw out the good ones even when they are falling apart. The same applies to girlfriends... So, this last Monday I put them to the test. I brought my 3 most presentable bras and we put them on over our clothing for a photo. I still don't have the OK from Joanne and Kathleen - Jenny was safely camping, she'll get in on the next one... so I can't post it yet. THEREFORE, you can be a BRA chick too! Send me a photo of you with a flashy bra (OVER YOUR CLOTHING - I need to keep a G rating) and I'll post you on the blog or just keep you in my hospital bag (your choice). Yes, guys can be BRA chix too - no therapy required... I'm like the army - don't ask; don't tell.

Send by snail mail or email or just find a good wacky chick in a bra on line and give me the link.
I realize the thought may be there, but the whoo hoo just isn't for some who don't expose. And, Joanne, send me the photo of which I speak from Gay Bingo... YOU KNOW THE ONE... it may show up here one day... who knows what I'll do on pain meds.

Wedding photos -

2008-05-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

Blackmail for future use - it only cost me a CD.

OK, this one has so many potential bad lines -
He's asking me about the schedule for the day, like I know anything...

The happy parents of the bride - dressed up complete with beer accessory.

Yes, it really is a BIG bottle of water - you recall it was 90 degrees that day and I was running...

They are cracking up because I said, this is the closest Dad will ever get to a 3-way - Denise is charging me for therapy.

Joe attempts to look mysterious... but he is dapper and in a suit, he even dances later.

Dang! That bride is looking for me again - hide me. Switched to champagne...

Dancing with the Stars it ain't - but he kept off my feet so I didn't see stars.

So, I'm posting a few of my less favorite wedding photos (look out BRA CHIX - I figured out how to post photos... )

5/27 - Day of Frustration

2008-05-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been waiting for weeks to get really angry at someone about this and you are lucky you were nowhere around today. Ive been waiting 3 weeks to see this surgeon my gastro referred me to - arrived on time with Dan to my appointment - and the doctor NEVER showed up!?! We waited over 45 minutes and kept being told he will be here any minute. I pitched a hissy - screamed out the van window on the freeway home and feel MUCH better now. THEN an hour later, I found out the CT Scan we hand-delivered to my oncologist isn't even MINE?!? I get to straighten that out tomorrow and with the HIPA issues, somebody is going to get a good chewing out... Is the world full of morphodite nincompoops? Doesn't anyone realize we're dealing with CANCER here?

If I wasn't reassured before I am now SO GLAD we took proactive steps to seek an independent (and cute) surgeon and (highly proven and capable) oncologist instead of waiting around some more. I have a PET SCAN on Friday at 10 and then we are going to get my mom a turquoise bedazzled jeans jacket to match her 1954 Bel Air... retail therapy works wonders... I may have cancer, but it doesn't have me!

So the next steps are PET scan Friday (which looks for rebel cancer cells from hair follicles to toenails), surgery prep 6/2 and 6/3, check in for surgery at 10 a.m. 6/4 and you should hear from me again about the time of Joe's 13th birthday on June 8. We have a bet going if he will hit 6' by then; he's 5'11 3/8" now...

Peace and blessings - the tumor is toast in 8 days!!!
Michelle

The Wedding Photos are posted!

2008-05-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/DanMeeker11/DeniseDougSWedding?authkey=7fDk6NUvb1o

Go to this site to view the wedding photos... Some of mine are less than flattering, but good fodder for wacky captions, so fire away ;-P

Past entries since 5/11/08

2008-05-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

5-23 This is the chain of events, thoughts, bad jokes and musings that followed my “routine colonoscopy” that wasn’t. We discovered a tumor in my sigmoid colon and started preparations to treat and remove it. I process difficult situations by writing and with humor and kept my support group apprised as follows. When email got too cumbersome, I converted to this blog with the most recent entries first. As I get closer to surgical date 6/4, the posts may temporaily be interrupted. I’ll get back to it when time and energy allow.

5-11 BRA Chix unite!
First and foremost - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY one and all... appreciation is good, but it doesn't get the laundry done or the floors clean. I'm still taking the afternoon off!

Hey, the wedding is finally here! This week will be crazy on more than one count. Joe is changing schools next year and his visit/assessment is this week at Federal Way Public Academy. Next year will be crazy with kids at 2 schools again, what am I thinking? Work, kids, getting beautimous for the wedding, errands, etc. The house is going to be tossed for a while ;-)

Now for the crappy news.... literally, (warning: I deal with bad situations with bad jokes and puns. You were warned.) I had a colonoscopy Friday and there is a 4-5 cm mass in my sigmoid area (the bend in the end). The doc who performed the colonoscopy took biopsies and said it is "most likely malignant". They usually say "it doesn't look suspicious", so we are a little freaked. I have a CT scan Tuesday which will tell us much more about involvement, whether it is contained, we are looking for not metastised would be the good news here, etc. and what exactly is camping out in my rectum. I will have it removed the Tuesday after Memorial Day. (The weekend in Ocean Shores is ON - L, I NEED it more than ever! As a welcome distraction, if nothing else.)

So, prayers, support, warm, fuzzy thoughts, rosaries, incense, crass jokes about my ass, will get me (us) through this. I feel OK physically, anxious, scared, depressed, bad that this hits on the wedding week and yes, after much internal debate, I did tell Denise. My mom is FREAKING because her frame of reference is that her brother died of stomach cancer 8 weeks after his diagnosis in 2002, and she worked in a cancer center for 18 years where she only saw the REALLY sick folks. Not a good frame of reference either way. My dad is more like Dan. Wait and see what we have and how we can solve it. At least he's not on my front porch with his welding torch, so that's a good thing.

The biopsy should be back by 5/19 at the latest. Tumor is out on the 27th/28th whatever the Tuesday after MD is and the CT scan is Tuesday. My family is going with me for all both. Dan is OK with it in his usual way of let's wait and see what comes back on all tests before we start over reacting. Deal with what you know and don' t fret. Easy for him to say it's not his butt! But he is being supportive and taking care of me. Boys know I had a colo and sent some things to lab, but that's all they know for now.

If it turns out to be nothing or something easily removed, we'll be thrilled and it will kick me in the butt to change eating and exercise habits. Can I scratch 2008 as the year of crappy health scares and get on with it? I need to renew my warranty or do a trade in on two 20 year olds... not that Dan could afford nor would he know WHAT to do with them, but I'm sure he'd enjoy trying.

Let me know if you have questions, or if you think of questions I should ask Monday, that's good too. I'll be around Sunday afternoon. Taking Joe to a Cake concert Sunday evening.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

5/13 -Had CT scan today and learned something. Make a follow-up appt. w/ your doc as soon as you leave a test. It will put a STAT on your results. My next appt. is at 9:00 5/20 to go over all results, questions, etc. and see where we are. Which gives me a) a plan of action and b) a deadline and c) a reason to put it away for a while, enjoy my sister's wedding and deal with it on Tuesday. I'll give more info. when I have it.

Now I get to deal with insurance tomorrow... that requires a whole different set of cuss words...

The Serenity prayer is the prayer of the day - ACCEPT what I cannot change...

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

5/15 - Still "cracking" jokes, must be a good sign.

First, the bad - the biopsy is positive. So the tumor in my butt is malignant, cancer, etc. OK, digest that, because it gets better quickly.

1) the blood test CEA to look for more tumors in my body came back normal - this is the only one and it most likely has not gone anywhere else - that's what that means.

2) I get the tumor out 5/27 and I'm going to ask for it in a ziploc bag so I can whack the h*** out of it with my shoe!

3) I have asked for no more results until my appointment on tuesday to review EVERYTHING.

4) Only you and Dan know the biopsy is positive. No family members will know until after the wedding Saturday or Tuesday. I've overshadowed my sister's day enough and this is my choice. All know about the blood test and were very releived to hear that.

5) The boys will be told Sunday afternoon that I'm having something removed after Memorial Day. If there is a necessity for further intervention (chemo/radiation), we will tell them then. They will know the whole situation after the fact.

6) If you have not yet done so, pay attention to your bowel habits and get any change thoroughly checked out. The prep for a colonoscopy is nothing compared to the stress of this week - not knowing. The colonoscopy procedure was no big deal and the CT scan was no big deal.

7) Farrah Fawcett has colon cancer - and is still kicking it in the scandal sheets. Not the first thing I want to have in common, but hey.

8) I have a really bad sore throat today - unrelated to all else - so phone is not a good idea if I want to be able to toast my sister. I can croak and listen. Email is better.

Still waiting for those good butt cracks...

5-19 email to Bunko group.

I'm sure the gossip lines have been buzzing, so I'll clue you all in on the facts. I don't have Suzanne's current email, so if I've skipped anyone and/or someone can forward to her, I would appreciate it. Take a deep breath and get your drink of choice, I'll tell it fast like a bandaid and it won't hurt long.

The friday before Mother's Day, I went in for a colonoscopy after some unusual bowel symptoms. The scope revealed the problem is a 4-5 cm malignant tumor in the sigmoid area of my large intestine. I am scheduled for surgery to remove it 5/27. We have had a CT scan to see if any other organs are involved and will go over those results with my gastroenterologist tomorrow. On Thursday, I meet with the oncologist for a second look at all results to make sure we are on the right track. The blood test looking for other cancer cells came back normal, so we THINK we caught this early enough to be able to confidently say all will be well. I will know more later this week and after surgery. Radiation and chemo have not been mentioned at this point. The boys, including Dan, are doing well. I change moods from minute to minute.

Now for the good news, my family was able to set this development aside and celebrate a great wedding in fabulous weather Saturday for my sister. Glad it is over, but it was good to have the happy diversion last week while waiting for all test results. I'm not making any social commitments, including BUNKO, until I know further what my diagnosis/ prognosis is. I'm on medical leave from work through the end of May (and beyond as long as I need to be off).

Prayers are appreciated. Questions will be answered as time/mood allows - as detailed as you are comfortable with. We need to be made aware of what is not normal, so we can properly seek care. The first thing I need to do is get over the cold I've picked up so we can complete the surgery ASAP.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

5/19 1) The cold is on the way out.

2) The CT scan shows no other organs are affected and no other lymph nodes are affected!!!

3) The appt on 5/27 is only a consult with the surgeon?!. I am working on getting the actual surgery to get it OUTTA THERE arranged this afternoon. If my mom's doc on Thrusday can get me in with his guy, I may do that. Still depends on the status of my cold. Most likely a small section of my colon 5-7cm will be removed and reattached eliminating the hairpin turn near the end. I need to confirm with surgeon on 5/27 - still no idea on nature of surgery, in vs. out pt., etc.

4) We are all very relieved and I am eating well, taking echinacea and vitamins to be strong for whatever comes next. Plan to take a nap as soon as the boys are home; I didn't sleep well last night.

5) Many thanks for all prayers and positive energy from all divine sources

6) Purchase your favorite beverage of choice and we will open and have a virtual party when I get clean bill of health.

St. C - I'll bring the champagne... Lucy will bring the OJ!

Joke of the day - I may have already shared, if so, ignore - If you have part of your colon removed, do you then have a semi-colon? <<>>

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

5/22 - Met with oncologist and we are going to be doing a LOT of tests to make sure no other cells are hiding - MRI, PET CT Scan, genetic test to see if this is enviro/gene, etc. Surgery is tentatively 6/4 - may move earlier by a day if possible. The surgeon is CUTE, and surgery will be at Northwest Hosptial (unless Auburn can get me in sooner). Please do not press to visit at Northwest, I will be there 3-5 days (I may change my mind by Day 4) and need time to heal. I will be home-bound and on liquid diet for the next week or two after that. You know what I know at this point.

Priorities for May/June:

1) Keep the boys lives as normal as possible.

2) Get this puppy outta here and get/keep me healthy.

3) Find out if next steps are necessary.

4) Heal, laugh, love, show gratitude, pray, LIVE!

I have had numerous offers for help with "Whatever". I will let you know if when and how you can help in the coming weeks, as soon as I know; it will probably be APB email requests and first responder gets it. If you have something you particularly like to do - clean bathrooms, laundry, give manicures or facials, entertain boys, p/u from school, grocery runs, etc., let me know and I'll put you on the list for your duty of choice.

I think we will be OK for meals. If you are making something that can be frozen and want to make 2, so be it. We are going to be moving slowly toward vegetarian cooking in the coming months and Dan gains peace from cooking, so boy foods would be the best - lasagna, pasta, tater tot pie, things we shouldn't eat but the younger set loves (sneak in some healthy stuff they won't detect.)

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

5/22 - Dan's having a rough time with this today. I was filling him in on the course of the day and when I said, the boys know I have cancer, but I'm OK so far, he crumpled, he'll get back to being objective soon, but I think he just "hit the wall of reality." We both did. He was fine until I said it out loud.

He's busy editing wedding photos and we'll watch a comedy show tonight. He took about 500 shots and plans to have them posted by the weekend or early next week.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

5/23 – Brain MRI today at 3:45. I’m sure they will find one, a brain. We are looking to make sure no rebel cells are camping out in my gray matter. Should be an hour of fun and feeling like I’m whacking around in a really noisy washing machine. Denise gave me a good tip – ask for a towel to cover your face and you won’t see anything to trigger claustrophobia. Glad I have tropic Australian beaches to recall in my imagination, I’ll just imagine a large helicopter is hovering nearby, launching nekkid skydivers… and the bar is serving my beverage of choice… a vivid imagination is a terrible thing to waste/mind.

5/24 – 5/25 ESCAPE TO OCEAN SHORES with Lucy to rest, relax, get massages, get dolled up and go to the casino to blow $40 in 30 minutes, throw rocks at seagulls, fly a kite, eat too much salt water taffy and fudge, the usual…

Escape recap… we relaxed, walked on the beach, shopped a little, gambled a little, ate too much and ended up ahead in our winnings. On Sunday morning, we played the slots after breakfast and started out with $40. I ended up cashing out at $122 and when Lucy was down to $4, we put her ticket in my machine and got her back up to $48 in about 8 spins! Made us laugh like a couple of lunatics, and we were sober! We quit while we were ahead and spent some on saltwater taffy to bring home. The plus side is I didn’t wallow in health thoughts very often all weekend, but I did have a very symbolic dream.

Dream: I was looking out in our back yard from the living room. Noticed two rabbits in the back lawn. When I glanced toward the fence, I saw a black bear skulking around. He picked up a Virgin Mary statue and shattered it with his paws. I was shooting photos of him in the back yard with Nick nearby. I knew Joe and Dan were in the house somewhere and called for them to come see the bear. Dan came and brought a broom. Joe was nowhere to be found. We moved to the bedroom window and continued to watch as he climbed up the deck and into our house. He trashed our home and Nick and I escaped out the garage to call 911 from a neighbor’s home. The 911 dispatcher laughed at me. When I told him this was serious and gave him our address. Then I called home and Joe answered, he had been reading in his room all the time and didn’t even know there was a bear in the house. Situation normal…

Interpretation: Bear is the cancer (the good news is black bears rarely attack), Virgin Mary is faith (our faith will be tested), photos are tests and scans, 911 is doctors, but I can’t figure out if the rabbits are the boys or my parents or what – the bear completely ignored them. I also can’t figure out Dan with the broom… he hasn’t swept anything for years…

5/26 – Denise and Doug are back to sort through the wedding stuff in my basement, shuffle their gifts home and begin married life, arguing about which wedding gift is too ugly to see the light of day (and I’ll probably get it re-gifted for Xmas 08…) ;-P They had a great time in the San Juans, found two great bed and breakfasts, went whale watching, kayaking, ate too well and that’s all I asked… I don’t go there.

Went to breakfast with the group of gals I call my BRA Chix… we even posed in my bras outside our clothing for a photo to take with me to surgery. The things my pals won’t do for me! With their permission, I’ll post the photo with no names ;-P

2008-05-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

BRA Chix Bulletin

KOMO spot for early detection

ABC lullaby

Wrapping up the year

November already?

Return from Cursillo

Autumn vs. Fall

Pumpkin Bread recipe

Rambo = Superman?

I know it's September - but we've been busy

Summer 2009

So much for ambitious goals

And the results are in (don't worry, it's good)!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

1 year, already?

It's Spring and that means Birds and Bees

Movie Madness

80s prom for Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk 4/11/09

Businesses benefitting non-profits - hope it catches on!

Proud Momma Moment

IBS eating guidlines? Worth a try.

Querulous about Sesame St. characters?

You need a what by when?

New Year's Resolution #1

Attitude of Gratitude

Tampa Trip

41 and olding... I mean holding.

What to do when we don't know what to do...

27 ways to comfort a sick friend

Check out the cover... not Vogue or anything stylish.

Last published on Aug 9?!... Life Happens.

The Shack - great book to chew on...

LAST Medical Update - I hope

BRA Chix hit the Books

Joe hit 6' and learns to beat the economy...

Prayers and Blessings

SD trip - final days!

Running at normal chaotic speed

Discharged from oncolcogist for 1 year!

This Bud's for You... no, it's not Beer.

Trip Recap - Day 3

Med update and trip recap - day 2

First day of SD travel 6/28 recap

We're home!

Late Night/Early Morning Brain Activity

Sydney Aquarium

Sydney Chinese Garden

Moreton Island, Brisbane QLD

Off Baby Food and Cleared for Drinks!

Wild and Weird week

More Infrequent Posts... must mean I'm getting better.

Whitsunday Island Sailing trip

Back Down Under! Mission Beach Sunrise

How am I feeling - 2 weeks post-op

Mission Beach, QLD in 10/07

Escape to Australia anyone?

Set your pace, it's not a race...

Time for a Vacation Break

It takes rain to make a rainbow...

Thursday doc recap in a little more detail...

Check up with surgeon and oncologist today

Is it Wednesday already?

It was STAGE 1 !!! GOOD NEWS !!!

Phinally, photos as promised...

HAPPY LUCKY 13 JOE!

Home Again and in my Own Bed!

zzzz...*snork*wha?

The Climax!

TUESDAY - this time tomorrow I'll be heavily medicated

Game Plan for Wednesday

FIVE Days and Counting...

Testing is done, another weekend break...

Awesome! Post from Joe

What has no carbs and no sugar? My diet today.

I have a brain! and I'm not the scarecrow

What are BRA Chix?- relax it's the old train photo...

Wedding photos -

5/27 - Day of Frustration

The Wedding Photos are posted!

Past entries since 5/11/08

zzzz...snorkwha?