"No cancer cells detected in biopsy sample." I had the nurse read it twice, so I got the words right. No colonoscopy for... three years (unless I am symptomatic), and my oncologist said I'm good to go for six months until he runs my labs again, but he would like to see me lose 20-30 pounds - and I didn't kick him. I see him again in November just before T-day, that being as good a time as any. Don't know what they biopsied, but it was nothing to write home about, probably some gum I swallowed 20 years ago.
The proactive lifestyle begins now. I had a year to be reactive and stumbled along through it mostly until about last October, so now I'm calling the shots and it will be more healthy and less sedentary; more whole foods and less proccessed; more quality and less quantity... of course after tonight's celebratory Krispy Kreme's are gone, which should be about 10 minutes after Joe arrives home. The boys and Dan may be looking to be adopted.
Thanks for the support, prayers, hugs, warm fuzzies, etc. And if you think this means the forced retirement of the BRA Chix, no way! Now, our new mission is the creation of anecdotal evidence of just how cracked we are in the process to get in shape, more fun and frolic and less time spent in and around hospitals. AMEN!
Peace and BLESSINGS! ;-P
Michelle
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
I'm not even a big Tom Petty fan, but this song has been running through my mind all week. I tried distractions, staying busy, exercising, cooking for others with challenging times approaching, and still at 3:00 a.m., there is the thought, "So, what is this?" Having the chased by animals dreams like I had when first diagnosed, but instead of bears; it's bears one night and gorillas the next, go figure.
Was chatting with a pregnant friend this week and we are both in the same boat. I'm waiting for pathology report to come back and she's waiting for her "egg to hatch". Both are hoping for uneventful deliveries of both items. I called the endoscopy clinic to see if the report was in, and it is; so they transferred me to a charge nurse "who could go over the results with me." When she came on it was obvious she was reading the report as we spoke and she said that until the doctor who performed my colonoscopy has read it, they can't release any info. "Is she there to read it?" I asked. "No, she has left for the day." At 3:00?!?!? With a pathology report on her desk?!?!? "Can I get a hint? Are the words 'not cancer' in there? Will my oncologist have the report in time for our appt Monday MORNING?!?!?" Frustration factor was high.
So I did yard work, helped a neighbor girl get her bike chain unstuck and went to dinner with my boys and Aunt Mindy. Then I made the mistake of watching part of the Farrah Story. It was depressing and irritating - mostly that Jacklyn Smith has aged better than Kate Jackson... No, really, unlimited resources to travel the world after cures not available to most people. Designer clothes and first-class travel right after liver tumor ablation, sick as a dog (OK that is similar to everyone else's experience). The one thing it did RIGHT for me is I've decided the pity party is over. Today I do not have cancer, if this changes on another day I'll take the steps necessary to deal with it. For today, I'm healthy, I feel good and I can do what I need to be healthy, have fun with my boys and attend to the many tasks at hand.
I'll let you know when I know, as usual.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P
Was chatting with a pregnant friend this week and we are both in the same boat. I'm waiting for pathology report to come back and she's waiting for her "egg to hatch". Both are hoping for uneventful deliveries of both items. I called the endoscopy clinic to see if the report was in, and it is; so they transferred me to a charge nurse "who could go over the results with me." When she came on it was obvious she was reading the report as we spoke and she said that until the doctor who performed my colonoscopy has read it, they can't release any info. "Is she there to read it?" I asked. "No, she has left for the day." At 3:00?!?!? With a pathology report on her desk?!?!? "Can I get a hint? Are the words 'not cancer' in there? Will my oncologist have the report in time for our appt Monday MORNING?!?!?" Frustration factor was high.
So I did yard work, helped a neighbor girl get her bike chain unstuck and went to dinner with my boys and Aunt Mindy. Then I made the mistake of watching part of the Farrah Story. It was depressing and irritating - mostly that Jacklyn Smith has aged better than Kate Jackson... No, really, unlimited resources to travel the world after cures not available to most people. Designer clothes and first-class travel right after liver tumor ablation, sick as a dog (OK that is similar to everyone else's experience). The one thing it did RIGHT for me is I've decided the pity party is over. Today I do not have cancer, if this changes on another day I'll take the steps necessary to deal with it. For today, I'm healthy, I feel good and I can do what I need to be healthy, have fun with my boys and attend to the many tasks at hand.
I'll let you know when I know, as usual.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P
Monday, May 11, 2009
1 year, already?
It has been a busy month, which accounts for no posts this month. What a difference a year makes - on the good side I'm exercising regularly, eating somewhat better than I have in the past and the system seems to be in "good chi" - balance. Every Monday in May, I had a step in the process of 1 year survivor checkups to complete. Blood work at the cancer center, a lovely double colonoscopy prep and procedure with two doses of "happy drugs" - I don't even remember getting dressed to leave the clinic and Dan's been messing with me that he let me walk out w/o pants. I'll get him back in 5 years. The final step in that process is next Monday when I meet with the oncologist to decipher all the data and see where my path leads me from here.
On a sad note, the night before my colonsocopy, I attended a memorial service for a pal from high school. Matt was a kid who was larger than life and had many factors counting against him, divorce, ADD, hearing loss, learning disabilities. He could have used his imposing size and these excuses to be the class bully. Instead he was the class teddy bear. He had an amazing gift for uniting kids in our class who existed on the fringes of the social stratum, giving us nicknames to unite us in his family of friends.
Even in his death, I was connected to friends of Matt by facebook as we planned his memorial at our high school chapel. That is a heck of a legacy, to be able to unite people even when you are no longer living. Eternal peace to you Mattie and many blessings on your family and children.
The day after my procedure, I attended a tea party fundraiser for the American Cancer Society at Salty's. We heard from a mom whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer who took that diagnosis and founded a non-profit research organization to focus on pediatric brain cancers. We were also addressed by the chaplain from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, herself a breast cancer survivor - presented with just the right blend of humor, faith and fact. Her book "It's
Not About the Hair" originated from her emails keeping people up to date on her progress, sound famliar? Of course, my family at the table said, "You could do the same thing!" Yes, but would that be beneficial to the greater good and be a step forward in my healing. Something to think about and consider, but I am still sorting through the rocks and gold nuggets in the baggage that I have resulting from this long strange trip. I guess the biggest would be that the more people you share a burden with, the lighter it is to carry. With enough love, humor and faith, all things are bearable and work out as they are intended.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
On a sad note, the night before my colonsocopy, I attended a memorial service for a pal from high school. Matt was a kid who was larger than life and had many factors counting against him, divorce, ADD, hearing loss, learning disabilities. He could have used his imposing size and these excuses to be the class bully. Instead he was the class teddy bear. He had an amazing gift for uniting kids in our class who existed on the fringes of the social stratum, giving us nicknames to unite us in his family of friends.
Even in his death, I was connected to friends of Matt by facebook as we planned his memorial at our high school chapel. That is a heck of a legacy, to be able to unite people even when you are no longer living. Eternal peace to you Mattie and many blessings on your family and children.
The day after my procedure, I attended a tea party fundraiser for the American Cancer Society at Salty's. We heard from a mom whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer who took that diagnosis and founded a non-profit research organization to focus on pediatric brain cancers. We were also addressed by the chaplain from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, herself a breast cancer survivor - presented with just the right blend of humor, faith and fact. Her book "It's
Not About the Hair" originated from her emails keeping people up to date on her progress, sound famliar? Of course, my family at the table said, "You could do the same thing!" Yes, but would that be beneficial to the greater good and be a step forward in my healing. Something to think about and consider, but I am still sorting through the rocks and gold nuggets in the baggage that I have resulting from this long strange trip. I guess the biggest would be that the more people you share a burden with, the lighter it is to carry. With enough love, humor and faith, all things are bearable and work out as they are intended.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
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