It's Spring and that means Birds and Bees

Birds and bees? Who coined that phrase? We had some minor incidents lately that made me sense the need to have a "CHAT" with the boys was necessary. Where do you start? Well, we ended up starting in the middle because with one boy just 11 and one almost 14, the interests and development is in different time zones.

I started by going to my library for research on what was avaialble and ended up with 15 rather graphic book titles in my possession. My 11 yo was VERY selective in what he would carry out of the library and "needed a bag". After weeks of review and getting the pants scared off me a few times - "chicken parties," "Sexting," "Rainbow" games in middle schools. If you don't know what these are, google them. Our teens are more likely to catch an STD than get pregnant, many of which can cause infertility if not treated. And teens will be quiet about symptoms thinking we'll overreact that they are sexually active. Things have changed in big ways since our days.

After reviewing books, I have 3-5 to recommend by age ranges.
For ages 8-11 It's Perfectly Normal - Robie;
For 12-15 The Guy book: an owner's manual for teens (written like a car owners manual - 14yo found it amusing AND informative) he shared with me some of the amusing parts as convo starters, so that was a plus.

One fact that I read that has stuck with me is this. We think moms should talk to girls and dads should talk to boys. Speaking to the opposite sex parent about these issues gives them practice for when they talk to a potential mate about these delicate topics; and discussion is key before any further activity happens. So while that may be a plus or a minus, the figures are that boys who have discussions with their mothers are more likely to put off having sex than boys who only talk to their dads. I don't know what the dads are saying, but it seems mom has more effect here (as usual).

For parents, What Every 21st century Parent needs Know (from the author of From Diapers to Dating, and The Big Talk also good books recommended by a mom/teacher/counselor pal) - I like her format and writing style; The real truth about teens from hooking up to friends with benefits - written by an editor of Seventeen well-written, kind of scary but very factual. (I was shocked by some of the things in the current issue of Seventeen), realistic and timely, but still a wake up call for me.

For Moms with Boys - the Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality; male writer guy perspective, good backgorund info. for us mom's who feel out of the loop.

For kids 15-20 SexSmart: 501 reasons to hold off on sex - good for those what "would you say/do if" opportunities. I also found the 5 Love Languages of Teenagers helpful because those languages change as the kids age and it make sense to reevaluate from time to time.

Hope you find my research helpful to share. I found a few books that weren't worth my time or energy and sent them back. I was looking for basic, easily presented information on both sexes without ramming convictions, morals or hang-ups that was presented respectfully and informatively to let the kids process information and open discussions. I also wanted books that tackled tough and uncomfortable issues - self-exploration, homosexuality, pornography, etc. I think all of these books do that on a variety of levels.

Initially, I hoped to scare the pants on my boys past he age of 25. Now I just want them to have accurate information and parents who have informed them to the best of our ability. I am hopeful that our example, willingness to teach, listen and love will make more of an impression than the media messages they are bombarded with in the world each day.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle

BRA Chix hit the Books

I found a few books during my recuperation time to recommend. Not a romance novel in the bunch - some have small semi-plots of near-romance, but no bodice-ripping, heaving, studs of raging passion to be found here. I'm still pondering a passionate parody...

The Alpine Mystery series by Mary Daheim. The Emma Lord mysteries are a good read, entertaining, not requiring too much thought and an endearing look into the fictional town and residents of Alpine, WA. A real place in the dawn of railroad time, that has since faded away in upper Snohomish County. So it has local appeal, good plots and characters we welcome into our reading respites. The main character Emma is the editor of the local weekly paper and in her "spare time" finds herself helping the local law enforcement do their job as well all in the name of news. It is an A-Z series, the Alpine Advocate through the Alpine Quilt, I believe is the most current addition. Not necessary to read in any order, the stories stand alone.

Mrs. Perfect was recommended by BRA Chick Kathleen as we all have one or more of them in our life, the women we love to hate or would like to hate them if they weren't so fun to be around. Taylor Young has a closetful of designer togs, a Street of Dreams home, great sex life and is the IT mom of her girl's school chairing the auction and getting it all done better than anyone else. Her life falls off its pedestal and instead of crumpling, it's tempting, she finds her bootstraps, tightens them and becomes part of the solution instead of part of the problem, much to the surprise of her friends, enemies and her family. It sounds cheesy, but has some good heart to it. I kept wondering when she was going to come to the realization that her closet is a vault and take her clothes to consignment and discover "a whole new world," but it never happened. Can you imagine if the Bellevue set discovered "consignment"? Oh, the horrors.
By Jane Porter, she also has Odd Mom Out which is next on my list to find.

The last one is the Queen of Babble series by Meg Cabot, Queen of Babble in the Big City - I'll be looking for the rest of the series at the library. Wanna-be wedding dress renovator Lizzy found a remote prince on her last vacation to France and is living with him in his mother's Manhattan apartment. She needs to find a job, an apartment and herself, not necessarily in that order. A high profile wedding in New York brings her opportunity and benevolent friends and neighbors make things click for her amid some major snags in the system. Well-developed characters, decent plot - this is a good by the pool, on the beach, last vacation of the summer read.

Happy reading, let me know what has been in your bag while you shuttle and wait for kids. For isn't that our passion from June to August? The secret bliss of a good novel to indulge in while we wait for our charges to emerge... and wait.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P