November already?

What's on the agenda this week? Pull together a basket raffle at church in 10 days?! Blood/lab test for check up next week, (no, I haven't lost the requested 25 lbs., grumble), keep up with kid's homework, plan T-day dinner menu and schedule time to clean house, Xmas shop w/o impacting budget, work and anything else you'd like me to juggle while I'm at it? A few chain saws, maybe, just to make it interesting?

Hard to believe it has been 18 months since the colon cancer was detected and removed, but it has. Read an article last weekend that a controversial acne medication (Accutane) I took at 19-20 is now attributed to bowel disease. Could it be related to my cancer? Should I submit my case to a class action atty.? Unknown, but exploring the options. It would almost be reassuring that a medication caused it rather than something wacky in my genetic system, but I doubt it would be anything that would make me independently wealthy. Then again, who knows, would it be more worthwhile to be able to have full public disclosure or to be paid to keep quiet and what exactly is my silence worth? Interesting moral question...

Back to the doc visit... No symptoms to worry about, no big weight loss to report, but no great gains either, so we're hanging tough. Doc visit should be uneventful next Thursday but positive thoughts never hurt. Mom and I will go Xmas shop for boys after at Northgate, just like old times.

Lighter notes - Joe has been saving for months to buy an electric guitar. He also had to maintain a 3.5 GPA or better through the first grading report and have no missing assignments - WIN! Yesterday was Guitar Center day. He spent 3 hours there by himself with all of his $ in the world and came home with a beautiful candy apple red Ibanez guitar which is his new pride and joy. It plugs into a jack in our stereo system and he can play along with his favorite songs or just jam on his own. Nice to see a 14 yo boy jazzed about something good for a change. Of course, his Xmas list has all sorts of things like a tremolo bar, guitar case and such on it. So, I'm going to be spending lots of time and $ at guitar center this season, I can tell.

So off to plan and save and scrimp and indulge and all the usual chaos of life or something like it.
Peace, Blessings and grace!
Michelle

Return from Cursillo

http://www.olycursillo.org/

This is the link to find more information about the 3-day weekend event I attended recently. I'm not going to go all born-again new agey, but there are significant differences in place since I returned. The world is more vibrant, people are craving connection, songs on the radio are prayers if you listen hard enough and the face of God is everywhere - in a stellar jay on the deck rail, in the cashier at Safeway, in the woman next to you at the doctor's office and in your own family, spouse, children - yes, really, look hard...

Overall, on the weekend there were parts I really got into and parts I was not so hot about. Singing songs of praise, for someone who cannot hold a tune in a bucket - is moderately torturous; but having the opportunity to sing as a group at a new child's baptism was priceless. Having deep philosophical discussions like we used to have in college (without having to throw people in the showers to sober up) was something I had been missing for years. We just don't get that opportunity as women very often. The first night we were in a devotion of silence (me, silent for 12 hours...) and it was an adjustment. As I lay in bed the first night thinking "what am I supposed to get out of all this?" The message I got LOUD and CLEAR was "BE here, that's all." That I can do as I have no car, no wallet, no cell phone, and I'm in Olympia where I know no one.

The next morning we were awakened at 0 dark 30 and invited to break our silence after morning prayer and Eucharist. If we dressed quickly we were allowed to have tea or coffee in the sanctuary, so God and I had peppermint tea together. This could be the start of a new habit. But the morning prayer and silence has got to go, I'd not make a good Carmelite nun. We won't even get into the celibacy, obedience or poverty. We celebrated the Eucharist and were released from our silence! As one woman in the pew ahead of me said, "Oh good, I was going crazy with my own thoughts." Many of us were thinking the same thing. Our kitchen crew put on quite a spread from mini quiches to scones to oatmeal, yogurt, fruit and juices as well as the welcome coffee! We had the opportunity to get to know our table mates. I have always found this difficult, until I spied one woman's opal ring - "What a beautiful ring. Is there a story behind it?" became my conversation opener for the rest of the weekend.

We broke out into table groups by assignment and discussed many topics over the next two days about talks presented by persons among us on piety, prayer, faith, grace, sacraments, etc. After some discussions, we were encouraged to come up with a drawing that illustrated our concepts gathered from the talk and discussion. For example, after the talk about study we were asked to create a license plate to illustrate the talking points. Our group came up with PAGEMS - digging for gems among the pages of the Bible. We had a gifted artist at our table who came with her own materials and abilities we used freely - some of us are conceptualists and others can actually draw! We were the table of St. Bega a Celtic saint who fled to Northumberland to escape an arranged marriage and lived out her life in pious acts. Some days that idea would be appealing.

We had lunch breaks to socialize and a long break in the afternoon I used to walk with some of the women one-to-one and there were several 2x4 between the eyes moment when something would just pop into my head without conscious thought about it. I haven't yet processed all of them and need to do that before I can put them into words.

The biggest nugget I received from the weekend is overwhelming sense of being loved and cared for by the women on the team and by God. The second was that I don't have to do everything - I need to find what fits my ideal and pare away things that I have no time talent or passion for. That is going to be hard to make happen, but I can see that in order to keep a reserve for the things I want to do, it is necessary.

GRACE, Peace and Blessings! ;-P
Michelle

Autumn vs. Fall

When it comes to fall, I prefer the word autumn. It rolls around the palate like a smoky brandy, coaxing images of vibrant scarlet, merlot, burgundy and an occasional golden chardonnay array of leaves emerging when the sugar supplies are compromised by cold temperatures. The changing colors dangle like earrings from the branches of free-formed sculptures briefly until their connection to the stem is severed by a crisp overnight chill and they twirl and drift to the forest floor below. Leaving behind striking postures of twigs, branches, blight, knots, abandoned bird nests that give each tree structure, feature and often if viewed long enough, a face.

Dropped leaves provide the smell of autumn – overripe blackberry, mingled with ashy decomposing loamy leaves, the minty crispness of the air and faint hints of burning wood from fireplaces inhaled during lingering walks in the woods to view nature’s spectacle. The blanket of fallen leaves give nutrients for the hibernating plants below and the sound of walking through fallen leaves evokes a sense of childish wonder, some regret that summer has passed, and anticipation of the celebration of holidays that center our yearly traditions.

Snuggling deep into polar fleece, lovingly knit keepsake wool, cozy knit sweaters to ward off the chill that pinks cheeks and cracks the delicate skin of lips, the view is breath-taking. The final reaches of sunlight arrive before we think they should in time dissolving into a delightful palette of changing sunset hues – lavender, fuschia, rose, periwinkle, hyacinth, daffodil – reminders of the spring buds seen so briefly. As time evolves to sneak us into waking earlier and spending less time hibernating comfortably, as minds and bodies are drawn against nature.

Fall by comparison is, and always will be, a verb of varying capacities. Fall is not fallen into; it is jumped into with both feet, as jumping into a pile of raked leaves. We fall in love, fall off a swing, fall down stairs or off the wagon. Fall is never the gentle description of some passing without consequence. Fall is dramatic and life-changing and full of power and takes time from which to recover. Fall is a childish word used in essays and composition and poetics in the classroom because it breeds action and thought and memory. After all, what rhymes with autumn?

2009MDM 10-8

Pumpkin Bread recipe

This may be a record of three entries in one week. I feel like such an over-achiever, but the bloom will fade once I'm back on normal schedule next week, so don't get too used to it. My cousin Janelle sends me recipes from time to time and this arrived on 10/01 and was just beggin to be baked yesterday. It's going to be delivered to 4 pals today because if I eat it all myself, I'll be back in the bad graces of my doc. Anyway, the recipe is here in it's entirety, I noted the tweaks I made in it, and it's very moist and good with tea on dreary mornings.

Coconut Pumpkin Nut Bread
Ingredients:
3.5 C all-pupose flour
2 C packed dk brown sugar
2/3 C white sugar
1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
1 C veg oil (or I substitute 1/2 c. applesauce and 1/2 c. oil)
2/3 c. coconut milk (in the ethnic aisle of most grocery stores)
2 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1 t. ground nutmeg
1.5 t ground cinnamon
2/3 c unsweetened flaked coconut (I substituted sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds)
1 cup chopped walnuts

*I added 1/4 c. ground flaxseed to flour

Heat oven to 350. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Combine all ingredients but coconut and walnuts until well blended. Fold in coconut and walnuts. Pour into prepared pans. Bake for 1 hour and 15 mins using toothpick test to desired doneness. Remove from oven and cover tightly with foil and allow to steam 10-15 minutes. Remove foil and cool on baking rack. Fabulous with peanut butter and a cup of tea! ;-P

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Rambo = Superman?

Had my birthday yesterday and my in-laws' check brought a manicure and pedicure into my near future. In south King County, the proprietors are mostly SE Asian at all the local nail salons. I popped into one near our Lowe's thinking "how much business would be attracted here for this service?" I can't see my local contractor coming in for a nail fill and polish change, eyebrow wax or "manscaping", but I digress...

We got into the business of my raggedy toes and the tech asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I asked her which of the movies was her favorite and she said "RAMBO." I shrugged, never seen it, heard it was really violent and asked her "Are you a Stallone fan?" She replied, "It has great picture of Viet Nam and surrounding lands." Cinematography? OK, I'm in. She started the movie and yes, it is horrifically violent. Since we were the only two people in the salon, I asked her if the depiction of the actions of the Viet Cong army was accurate as far as she knew. she nodded and said "I saw it as a child. We hid in rice paddies, the jungle, tunnels and caves."

At that point, I ventured that I was sure we had made munerous mistakes and that I didn't think we were right in most military decisions. We delved into the most fascinating conversation about politics, American policy in Viet Nam and the way the Vietnamese see the Rambo character similar to our concept of the hero in a Western or Superman. It is depicted as they WISH it would have turned out - with "an army of one" of the rescuers staying after his tour was over to disseminate who was telling the truth, who was helping the Vietnamese and who was blatantly lying to the world powers and wreaking vengeance on the perps. I'm sure there were those that did and were forsaken by their government and considered lost in more ways than one by their families.

The people were never sure of the intention of Americans they encountered because some had been ambushed by VC, were on drugs, mentally war-shocked or just depraved. When there was a humanitarian or relief effort troop to come through, no one was sure they could be trusted. There was no one to ask for help and no one to rescue the civilians living in constant fear, mistrust and despair.

In the course of our discussion we were joined by a woman from Thailand and one from Laos and their added perspectives were wholly enlightening. When I shared the ages of my boys 11 and 14, all three women said they would have been taken from us and forced into military service or killed, if they resisted or ran away. Kids were often sent first into mine fields to trigger the claymores set by other troops. I would have been killed, violated or pressed into service in supporting the armies. The Vietnamese/Laotian family fled into Laos with the clothes on their back and all the money they had in the world and started over with nothing after paying bribes to stay, often over and over to the same people/warlords/gangs. The Thai lost contact with many family members and has never heard from them again - presumed dead.

I need to explore this subject further, I'm fascinated with the exchange we had. I've always felt as an outsider in nail salons, I felt like we were having a UN discussion. Our history books seem to have been edited by military retirees. I went in for spiffy nails and emerged with lots to think about. When I shared with the boys later, their eyes widened at what their roles would have been. Once again, I come to realize we are blessed at the time and place of our birth.
PEACE and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

I know it's September - but we've been busy

So much for my idea of regular entries, but we've been blissfully busy with visiting family from all over the US, new homework curriculum, errands, raising boys, church, housework and all the usuals that everyone else in the world also deals with. In other words, I really don't have a good reason for no entries, just many feeble excuses.
On the high notes of the past few weeks, went to Poppy on Capitol Hill with some dear BRA Chix and it was a hoot - a comedy of errors, but a hoot just the same. An overpriced culinary experience, but a comedy of errors. An experience for our memory books, but a hooting comedy of errors. From the delay in our reservation to $10 watermelon mojitos to the store next door with the really "eclectic clientele" to just being in Capitol Hill with two moms from Maple Valley and Issaquah - an experience, the eyes were as big as saucers.
Much giggles, lots of jabber and 3.5 hours to get all of our yakking in while our dinner was delayed and our appetites grew immense. So much for savoring the culinary experience - I inhaled dinner when it arrived and after two glasses of champagne and a mojito on an empty stomach was doing good to remember where we parked.
We traveled to Ellensburg last weekend and had the opportunity of sitting in road construction backups for 3 hours. We developed the game of "what's up with that?" Where you view something odd (usually in the back of a pick-up) and develop a back story. For example, we spied a black Ford 150 pick up with six taxidermied deer heads in the bed, three plastic garbage cans, a snowboard, a TV (not plasma or flat screen), an over-sized cooler and a snowboard. My son guessed "He must be a taxidermist." The next son guessed he was moving. Husband Dan pegged the snorter with "He looks recently divorced - as in like about an hour ago. His ex said 'Here's all your stuff in the garbage cans, get those stinking deer heads outta my double-wide and take the snowboard you got me for our last anniversary. You can have the TV in the bedroom too. Because I'm nice.' " We're coming up with lyrics to a country song on our next road trip. Who says travelling with the Meekers is not an adventure?
We hit the Puyallup fair and the boys brought Dan's helmet cam to film some ride footage. Joe spent about $25 trying to get an electric guitar by ringing a beer bottle with a plastic ring. And we explored the culinary wonders of the Fair. And toured the Brain with Weird Al as our guide. Enough for one day, I think.
In the coming weeks, mom turns 42, escapes for a retreat weekend in Olympia with no Y chromosomes about and then another family escape to Hood Canal for a weekend of wine, rest and relaxation at a cabin on the beach! I've been craving beach time for months so really looking fwd to that one! All is well with health, the weight is not dropping by leaps and bounds, but it is no longer increasing, so all is well. Need to get to the gym and cement that habit this week with some sweat and effort, so will check in again soon.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle

Summer 2009

Nick is relearning cursive in preparation for his 6th grade college prep curriculum new school and HATING it. He's raking me over the coals daily about 5 lousy pages and whining to beat the band. But I am persevering and being CONSISTENT. My thought is this process may teach him not to procrastinate and if he gets his work done well and promptly, his time is his own. If he chooses to learn it, he'll be well ahead of the game.

Which brings us to my other model prisoner, Joe is spending his summer surfing YouTube endeavoring to write something to videotape and post and is stuck in the development phase. He is getting dragged to the gym with me on occasion and finds it amusing, mostly. Filmed one sequence of 1st Day at the gym but hasn't posted it yet. He did OK on grades this year, got by on the skin of his teeth. He is doing better than Nick at getting his job list for the day done so he can let his brain cells ooze out in front of the computer for the rest of his day.

Overall, I'm trying to stick to my goals of eating more whole food, getting daily exercise/activity and not the boys out no matter how much I'd like to from one day to the next. We've done a few fun things, EMP, parks, beaches, picnics. Dan is taking BOTH boys to Grand Coulee next weekend, so that will give them some major bonding time in an enclosed vehicle (not my idea of fun) and they will both take their required summer reading books to distract them from buggin each other. And I get two days of momming to boot!!