KOMO spot for early detection

Entered a video contest for early cancer detection and won 3rd place! There were only 3 entries, but still it was a thrill. We reshot the video at KOMO studios in Seattle and it will air during The Doctors show on channel 4 at 11:09 a.m. Tuesday 7/20. It's not a smiley piece and is only 30 seconds, but it gets the point across that cancer can be a pause; and not the end. I feel awkward being called a cancer survivor because my path was so innocuous compared to others who survive the experience. But surviving is surviving regardless of the circumstances. ;-P

ABC lullaby

In a fit over circumstances beyond my control, I began a sleepless night with the idea to find a word to ponder beginning with each letter of the alphabet. This was partly to refocus my brain and partly to keep from pummeling the garbage disposal sound emanating from my life partner and soul mate also known as Sir Sure SnoresALot. When I awoke, groggy, the next morning, I thought "You may be onto something here." So, as part of my resolution (resolution also means to make clearer by increasing focus/detail, see) I pick a word a day to focus effort and intentions on living the full meaning of the word and see where the road takes me.

The first day was ACCLIMATE - be more flexible and realize that I do not have to control the world and it will continue to function. Day 2 was BALANCE - more of the same, today is CONTEMPLATE CONSEQUENCES - how will this action or inaction affect other situations? By posting as my status in Facebook, each day I am held accountable (another good A word, by the way - didn't think of it at 3 a.m.). For the next 23 days it will be an interesting journey... Do I know the words already or do I pick them on the fly? A little of both. I have some words that I choose for their alliteration, their diverse meanings, and the level of tranquility their contemplation achieves. An OM moment, such that it is.

When I was awake that first night, the list was: Amusement, Balance, Coexistence, Destined, Empathy, Fundamental, Graciousness/Generosity, Honor, Inspiration, Jeopardize, Kindred, Loquacious, Methodology, Namaste, Opportunity, Presence, Quintessential, Rhapsody, Strive, Tenacious, Unity, Wonder, Youth and Zealous. I found many to be qualities I admire in others, some I wish to see more often in myself and many are just appealing to my ear and provide opportunity to turn them over in thought through many incarnations and meanings.

Must admit it was more interesting than counting sheep.
Peace, grace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Wrapping up the year

So we had Christmas and a two week break from school, work, carpools and everything providing structure in my life and the house was moderately clean and the laundry was moderately done and I was into a few books and feeling kind of out of sorts after putting the Christmas stuff away when I ran across my grandmother's crochet hooks. Hmm, what can I do with these? Stuff them up my nose? Cornrow Joe's hair? Torment the boys and the cat? Learn to crochet? Huh, where did that come from and then a few YouTube vids, a few books from the library, a few costly trips to the craft store and Bob's your uncle I'd crocheted a prayer shawl. Who'd have thought?

I think it came from the feeling of having the needle of my compass is still missing when I feel the void left by my grandmother's passing. Yes, it was in 2004, but that's beside the point. When we were sorting out her craft materials, I took the lion's share not because they were valuable but because she had held them and used them to create items for others. They hold her prayers, her thoughts, her breath, her presence. I kept her cookie jar and stew pot. When Dan uses it to cook, I feel like he's invited Gigi to join us.

The year wasn't a total wash. We got a new administration, a new first family, and one of the boys figured out the school game - pray for the other one, we all kept our jobs and helped others who lost theirs, we've had opportunities for growth, learning, sharing, caring and fun. No big tragedies and no major challenges, just same old plugging along doing the same old things. Not much for excitement, but I can take my excitement few and far between.

Here's to continued good health for all (including our health care reform bill), recovery for the economy and continued goodwill among all people for the duration of the year.

Peace, grace and blessings.
Michelle ;-P

November already?

What's on the agenda this week? Pull together a basket raffle at church in 10 days?! Blood/lab test for check up next week, (no, I haven't lost the requested 25 lbs., grumble), keep up with kid's homework, plan T-day dinner menu and schedule time to clean house, Xmas shop w/o impacting budget, work and anything else you'd like me to juggle while I'm at it? A few chain saws, maybe, just to make it interesting?

Hard to believe it has been 18 months since the colon cancer was detected and removed, but it has. Read an article last weekend that a controversial acne medication (Accutane) I took at 19-20 is now attributed to bowel disease. Could it be related to my cancer? Should I submit my case to a class action atty.? Unknown, but exploring the options. It would almost be reassuring that a medication caused it rather than something wacky in my genetic system, but I doubt it would be anything that would make me independently wealthy. Then again, who knows, would it be more worthwhile to be able to have full public disclosure or to be paid to keep quiet and what exactly is my silence worth? Interesting moral question...

Back to the doc visit... No symptoms to worry about, no big weight loss to report, but no great gains either, so we're hanging tough. Doc visit should be uneventful next Thursday but positive thoughts never hurt. Mom and I will go Xmas shop for boys after at Northgate, just like old times.

Lighter notes - Joe has been saving for months to buy an electric guitar. He also had to maintain a 3.5 GPA or better through the first grading report and have no missing assignments - WIN! Yesterday was Guitar Center day. He spent 3 hours there by himself with all of his $ in the world and came home with a beautiful candy apple red Ibanez guitar which is his new pride and joy. It plugs into a jack in our stereo system and he can play along with his favorite songs or just jam on his own. Nice to see a 14 yo boy jazzed about something good for a change. Of course, his Xmas list has all sorts of things like a tremolo bar, guitar case and such on it. So, I'm going to be spending lots of time and $ at guitar center this season, I can tell.

So off to plan and save and scrimp and indulge and all the usual chaos of life or something like it.
Peace, Blessings and grace!
Michelle

Return from Cursillo

http://www.olycursillo.org/

This is the link to find more information about the 3-day weekend event I attended recently. I'm not going to go all born-again new agey, but there are significant differences in place since I returned. The world is more vibrant, people are craving connection, songs on the radio are prayers if you listen hard enough and the face of God is everywhere - in a stellar jay on the deck rail, in the cashier at Safeway, in the woman next to you at the doctor's office and in your own family, spouse, children - yes, really, look hard...

Overall, on the weekend there were parts I really got into and parts I was not so hot about. Singing songs of praise, for someone who cannot hold a tune in a bucket - is moderately torturous; but having the opportunity to sing as a group at a new child's baptism was priceless. Having deep philosophical discussions like we used to have in college (without having to throw people in the showers to sober up) was something I had been missing for years. We just don't get that opportunity as women very often. The first night we were in a devotion of silence (me, silent for 12 hours...) and it was an adjustment. As I lay in bed the first night thinking "what am I supposed to get out of all this?" The message I got LOUD and CLEAR was "BE here, that's all." That I can do as I have no car, no wallet, no cell phone, and I'm in Olympia where I know no one.

The next morning we were awakened at 0 dark 30 and invited to break our silence after morning prayer and Eucharist. If we dressed quickly we were allowed to have tea or coffee in the sanctuary, so God and I had peppermint tea together. This could be the start of a new habit. But the morning prayer and silence has got to go, I'd not make a good Carmelite nun. We won't even get into the celibacy, obedience or poverty. We celebrated the Eucharist and were released from our silence! As one woman in the pew ahead of me said, "Oh good, I was going crazy with my own thoughts." Many of us were thinking the same thing. Our kitchen crew put on quite a spread from mini quiches to scones to oatmeal, yogurt, fruit and juices as well as the welcome coffee! We had the opportunity to get to know our table mates. I have always found this difficult, until I spied one woman's opal ring - "What a beautiful ring. Is there a story behind it?" became my conversation opener for the rest of the weekend.

We broke out into table groups by assignment and discussed many topics over the next two days about talks presented by persons among us on piety, prayer, faith, grace, sacraments, etc. After some discussions, we were encouraged to come up with a drawing that illustrated our concepts gathered from the talk and discussion. For example, after the talk about study we were asked to create a license plate to illustrate the talking points. Our group came up with PAGEMS - digging for gems among the pages of the Bible. We had a gifted artist at our table who came with her own materials and abilities we used freely - some of us are conceptualists and others can actually draw! We were the table of St. Bega a Celtic saint who fled to Northumberland to escape an arranged marriage and lived out her life in pious acts. Some days that idea would be appealing.

We had lunch breaks to socialize and a long break in the afternoon I used to walk with some of the women one-to-one and there were several 2x4 between the eyes moment when something would just pop into my head without conscious thought about it. I haven't yet processed all of them and need to do that before I can put them into words.

The biggest nugget I received from the weekend is overwhelming sense of being loved and cared for by the women on the team and by God. The second was that I don't have to do everything - I need to find what fits my ideal and pare away things that I have no time talent or passion for. That is going to be hard to make happen, but I can see that in order to keep a reserve for the things I want to do, it is necessary.

GRACE, Peace and Blessings! ;-P
Michelle

Autumn vs. Fall

When it comes to fall, I prefer the word autumn. It rolls around the palate like a smoky brandy, coaxing images of vibrant scarlet, merlot, burgundy and an occasional golden chardonnay array of leaves emerging when the sugar supplies are compromised by cold temperatures. The changing colors dangle like earrings from the branches of free-formed sculptures briefly until their connection to the stem is severed by a crisp overnight chill and they twirl and drift to the forest floor below. Leaving behind striking postures of twigs, branches, blight, knots, abandoned bird nests that give each tree structure, feature and often if viewed long enough, a face.

Dropped leaves provide the smell of autumn – overripe blackberry, mingled with ashy decomposing loamy leaves, the minty crispness of the air and faint hints of burning wood from fireplaces inhaled during lingering walks in the woods to view nature’s spectacle. The blanket of fallen leaves give nutrients for the hibernating plants below and the sound of walking through fallen leaves evokes a sense of childish wonder, some regret that summer has passed, and anticipation of the celebration of holidays that center our yearly traditions.

Snuggling deep into polar fleece, lovingly knit keepsake wool, cozy knit sweaters to ward off the chill that pinks cheeks and cracks the delicate skin of lips, the view is breath-taking. The final reaches of sunlight arrive before we think they should in time dissolving into a delightful palette of changing sunset hues – lavender, fuschia, rose, periwinkle, hyacinth, daffodil – reminders of the spring buds seen so briefly. As time evolves to sneak us into waking earlier and spending less time hibernating comfortably, as minds and bodies are drawn against nature.

Fall by comparison is, and always will be, a verb of varying capacities. Fall is not fallen into; it is jumped into with both feet, as jumping into a pile of raked leaves. We fall in love, fall off a swing, fall down stairs or off the wagon. Fall is never the gentle description of some passing without consequence. Fall is dramatic and life-changing and full of power and takes time from which to recover. Fall is a childish word used in essays and composition and poetics in the classroom because it breeds action and thought and memory. After all, what rhymes with autumn?

2009MDM 10-8

Pumpkin Bread recipe

This may be a record of three entries in one week. I feel like such an over-achiever, but the bloom will fade once I'm back on normal schedule next week, so don't get too used to it. My cousin Janelle sends me recipes from time to time and this arrived on 10/01 and was just beggin to be baked yesterday. It's going to be delivered to 4 pals today because if I eat it all myself, I'll be back in the bad graces of my doc. Anyway, the recipe is here in it's entirety, I noted the tweaks I made in it, and it's very moist and good with tea on dreary mornings.

Coconut Pumpkin Nut Bread
Ingredients:
3.5 C all-pupose flour
2 C packed dk brown sugar
2/3 C white sugar
1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
1 C veg oil (or I substitute 1/2 c. applesauce and 1/2 c. oil)
2/3 c. coconut milk (in the ethnic aisle of most grocery stores)
2 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1 t. ground nutmeg
1.5 t ground cinnamon
2/3 c unsweetened flaked coconut (I substituted sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds)
1 cup chopped walnuts

*I added 1/4 c. ground flaxseed to flour

Heat oven to 350. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Combine all ingredients but coconut and walnuts until well blended. Fold in coconut and walnuts. Pour into prepared pans. Bake for 1 hour and 15 mins using toothpick test to desired doneness. Remove from oven and cover tightly with foil and allow to steam 10-15 minutes. Remove foil and cool on baking rack. Fabulous with peanut butter and a cup of tea! ;-P

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P