It's been quite a week, month, year. Today marks one year since our family trip to SD, a mere year and three weeks after my semi-colon surgery. The boys are out of school for the summer, one needs to relearn cursive writing over the summer and is busting my chops about it daily. The other made b's and c's for grades by the skin of his teeth, or mine. So, now it's summer with days of "he's been on the computer for two hours, it's my turn now." THIS is why summer is only 8 weeks long. Kids would not survive if it were longer.
It has been a crazy week with the loss of Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, it's kind of like remembering where you were when Elvis (supposedly) expired. At least the focus is off the Jon and Kate scandal for a milisecond. The summer will be spent helping pals who are facing big challenges this year. We have one pal whose job was eliminated JUST before she went in for major shoulder surgery (medical coverage extended, graciously) and another who goes in for extensive breast biopsy after July 4. So while last year I was benefitting from support from others; this year will be necessary to complete the karmic circle and give support as needed. Thankfully, I've adjusted job to accommodate and if it turns out to be moot, I'll have more family time to "enjoy" with the boys. May require medication or mediation, but we'll hope the trips to the gym help. So far, I've lost only 6 pounds (or less depending on the mood of my scale) but almost 12" overall in a month of conscious eating and focused exercise.
I've been taking a week off to regroup, refocus and recommit before getting back on track and juggling the new schedule to see where planning, exercise, support strategies are all supposed to fit in again. Change is good and this change is long overdue and will have far-reaching effects on my mind, body and spirit. So far daily exercise and food journaling are the big secrets for me.
Welcome to come along for the ride.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
And the results are in (don't worry, it's good)!
"No cancer cells detected in biopsy sample." I had the nurse read it twice, so I got the words right. No colonoscopy for... three years (unless I am symptomatic), and my oncologist said I'm good to go for six months until he runs my labs again, but he would like to see me lose 20-30 pounds - and I didn't kick him. I see him again in November just before T-day, that being as good a time as any. Don't know what they biopsied, but it was nothing to write home about, probably some gum I swallowed 20 years ago.
The proactive lifestyle begins now. I had a year to be reactive and stumbled along through it mostly until about last October, so now I'm calling the shots and it will be more healthy and less sedentary; more whole foods and less proccessed; more quality and less quantity... of course after tonight's celebratory Krispy Kreme's are gone, which should be about 10 minutes after Joe arrives home. The boys and Dan may be looking to be adopted.
Thanks for the support, prayers, hugs, warm fuzzies, etc. And if you think this means the forced retirement of the BRA Chix, no way! Now, our new mission is the creation of anecdotal evidence of just how cracked we are in the process to get in shape, more fun and frolic and less time spent in and around hospitals. AMEN!
Peace and BLESSINGS! ;-P
Michelle
The proactive lifestyle begins now. I had a year to be reactive and stumbled along through it mostly until about last October, so now I'm calling the shots and it will be more healthy and less sedentary; more whole foods and less proccessed; more quality and less quantity... of course after tonight's celebratory Krispy Kreme's are gone, which should be about 10 minutes after Joe arrives home. The boys and Dan may be looking to be adopted.
Thanks for the support, prayers, hugs, warm fuzzies, etc. And if you think this means the forced retirement of the BRA Chix, no way! Now, our new mission is the creation of anecdotal evidence of just how cracked we are in the process to get in shape, more fun and frolic and less time spent in and around hospitals. AMEN!
Peace and BLESSINGS! ;-P
Michelle
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
I'm not even a big Tom Petty fan, but this song has been running through my mind all week. I tried distractions, staying busy, exercising, cooking for others with challenging times approaching, and still at 3:00 a.m., there is the thought, "So, what is this?" Having the chased by animals dreams like I had when first diagnosed, but instead of bears; it's bears one night and gorillas the next, go figure.
Was chatting with a pregnant friend this week and we are both in the same boat. I'm waiting for pathology report to come back and she's waiting for her "egg to hatch". Both are hoping for uneventful deliveries of both items. I called the endoscopy clinic to see if the report was in, and it is; so they transferred me to a charge nurse "who could go over the results with me." When she came on it was obvious she was reading the report as we spoke and she said that until the doctor who performed my colonoscopy has read it, they can't release any info. "Is she there to read it?" I asked. "No, she has left for the day." At 3:00?!?!? With a pathology report on her desk?!?!? "Can I get a hint? Are the words 'not cancer' in there? Will my oncologist have the report in time for our appt Monday MORNING?!?!?" Frustration factor was high.
So I did yard work, helped a neighbor girl get her bike chain unstuck and went to dinner with my boys and Aunt Mindy. Then I made the mistake of watching part of the Farrah Story. It was depressing and irritating - mostly that Jacklyn Smith has aged better than Kate Jackson... No, really, unlimited resources to travel the world after cures not available to most people. Designer clothes and first-class travel right after liver tumor ablation, sick as a dog (OK that is similar to everyone else's experience). The one thing it did RIGHT for me is I've decided the pity party is over. Today I do not have cancer, if this changes on another day I'll take the steps necessary to deal with it. For today, I'm healthy, I feel good and I can do what I need to be healthy, have fun with my boys and attend to the many tasks at hand.
I'll let you know when I know, as usual.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P
Was chatting with a pregnant friend this week and we are both in the same boat. I'm waiting for pathology report to come back and she's waiting for her "egg to hatch". Both are hoping for uneventful deliveries of both items. I called the endoscopy clinic to see if the report was in, and it is; so they transferred me to a charge nurse "who could go over the results with me." When she came on it was obvious she was reading the report as we spoke and she said that until the doctor who performed my colonoscopy has read it, they can't release any info. "Is she there to read it?" I asked. "No, she has left for the day." At 3:00?!?!? With a pathology report on her desk?!?!? "Can I get a hint? Are the words 'not cancer' in there? Will my oncologist have the report in time for our appt Monday MORNING?!?!?" Frustration factor was high.
So I did yard work, helped a neighbor girl get her bike chain unstuck and went to dinner with my boys and Aunt Mindy. Then I made the mistake of watching part of the Farrah Story. It was depressing and irritating - mostly that Jacklyn Smith has aged better than Kate Jackson... No, really, unlimited resources to travel the world after cures not available to most people. Designer clothes and first-class travel right after liver tumor ablation, sick as a dog (OK that is similar to everyone else's experience). The one thing it did RIGHT for me is I've decided the pity party is over. Today I do not have cancer, if this changes on another day I'll take the steps necessary to deal with it. For today, I'm healthy, I feel good and I can do what I need to be healthy, have fun with my boys and attend to the many tasks at hand.
I'll let you know when I know, as usual.
Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P
Monday, May 11, 2009
1 year, already?
It has been a busy month, which accounts for no posts this month. What a difference a year makes - on the good side I'm exercising regularly, eating somewhat better than I have in the past and the system seems to be in "good chi" - balance. Every Monday in May, I had a step in the process of 1 year survivor checkups to complete. Blood work at the cancer center, a lovely double colonoscopy prep and procedure with two doses of "happy drugs" - I don't even remember getting dressed to leave the clinic and Dan's been messing with me that he let me walk out w/o pants. I'll get him back in 5 years. The final step in that process is next Monday when I meet with the oncologist to decipher all the data and see where my path leads me from here.
On a sad note, the night before my colonsocopy, I attended a memorial service for a pal from high school. Matt was a kid who was larger than life and had many factors counting against him, divorce, ADD, hearing loss, learning disabilities. He could have used his imposing size and these excuses to be the class bully. Instead he was the class teddy bear. He had an amazing gift for uniting kids in our class who existed on the fringes of the social stratum, giving us nicknames to unite us in his family of friends.
Even in his death, I was connected to friends of Matt by facebook as we planned his memorial at our high school chapel. That is a heck of a legacy, to be able to unite people even when you are no longer living. Eternal peace to you Mattie and many blessings on your family and children.
The day after my procedure, I attended a tea party fundraiser for the American Cancer Society at Salty's. We heard from a mom whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer who took that diagnosis and founded a non-profit research organization to focus on pediatric brain cancers. We were also addressed by the chaplain from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, herself a breast cancer survivor - presented with just the right blend of humor, faith and fact. Her book "It's
Not About the Hair" originated from her emails keeping people up to date on her progress, sound famliar? Of course, my family at the table said, "You could do the same thing!" Yes, but would that be beneficial to the greater good and be a step forward in my healing. Something to think about and consider, but I am still sorting through the rocks and gold nuggets in the baggage that I have resulting from this long strange trip. I guess the biggest would be that the more people you share a burden with, the lighter it is to carry. With enough love, humor and faith, all things are bearable and work out as they are intended.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
On a sad note, the night before my colonsocopy, I attended a memorial service for a pal from high school. Matt was a kid who was larger than life and had many factors counting against him, divorce, ADD, hearing loss, learning disabilities. He could have used his imposing size and these excuses to be the class bully. Instead he was the class teddy bear. He had an amazing gift for uniting kids in our class who existed on the fringes of the social stratum, giving us nicknames to unite us in his family of friends.
Even in his death, I was connected to friends of Matt by facebook as we planned his memorial at our high school chapel. That is a heck of a legacy, to be able to unite people even when you are no longer living. Eternal peace to you Mattie and many blessings on your family and children.
The day after my procedure, I attended a tea party fundraiser for the American Cancer Society at Salty's. We heard from a mom whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer who took that diagnosis and founded a non-profit research organization to focus on pediatric brain cancers. We were also addressed by the chaplain from Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, herself a breast cancer survivor - presented with just the right blend of humor, faith and fact. Her book "It's
Not About the Hair" originated from her emails keeping people up to date on her progress, sound famliar? Of course, my family at the table said, "You could do the same thing!" Yes, but would that be beneficial to the greater good and be a step forward in my healing. Something to think about and consider, but I am still sorting through the rocks and gold nuggets in the baggage that I have resulting from this long strange trip. I guess the biggest would be that the more people you share a burden with, the lighter it is to carry. With enough love, humor and faith, all things are bearable and work out as they are intended.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
Thursday, April 23, 2009
It's Spring and that means Birds and Bees
Birds and bees? Who coined that phrase? We had some minor incidents lately that made me sense the need to have a "CHAT" with the boys was necessary. Where do you start? Well, we ended up starting in the middle because with one boy just 11 and one almost 14, the interests and development is in different time zones.
I started by going to my library for research on what was avaialble and ended up with 15 rather graphic book titles in my possession. My 11 yo was VERY selective in what he would carry out of the library and "needed a bag". After weeks of review and getting the pants scared off me a few times - "chicken parties," "Sexting," "Rainbow" games in middle schools. If you don't know what these are, google them. Our teens are more likely to catch an STD than get pregnant, many of which can cause infertility if not treated. And teens will be quiet about symptoms thinking we'll overreact that they are sexually active. Things have changed in big ways since our days.
After reviewing books, I have 3-5 to recommend by age ranges.
For ages 8-11 It's Perfectly Normal - Robie;
For 12-15 The Guy book: an owner's manual for teens (written like a car owners manual - 14yo found it amusing AND informative) he shared with me some of the amusing parts as convo starters, so that was a plus.
One fact that I read that has stuck with me is this. We think moms should talk to girls and dads should talk to boys. Speaking to the opposite sex parent about these issues gives them practice for when they talk to a potential mate about these delicate topics; and discussion is key before any further activity happens. So while that may be a plus or a minus, the figures are that boys who have discussions with their mothers are more likely to put off having sex than boys who only talk to their dads. I don't know what the dads are saying, but it seems mom has more effect here (as usual).
For parents, What Every 21st century Parent needs Know (from the author of From Diapers to Dating, and The Big Talk also good books recommended by a mom/teacher/counselor pal) - I like her format and writing style; The real truth about teens from hooking up to friends with benefits - written by an editor of Seventeen well-written, kind of scary but very factual. (I was shocked by some of the things in the current issue of Seventeen), realistic and timely, but still a wake up call for me.
For Moms with Boys - the Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality; male writer guy perspective, good backgorund info. for us mom's who feel out of the loop.
For kids 15-20 SexSmart: 501 reasons to hold off on sex - good for those what "would you say/do if" opportunities. I also found the 5 Love Languages of Teenagers helpful because those languages change as the kids age and it make sense to reevaluate from time to time.
Hope you find my research helpful to share. I found a few books that weren't worth my time or energy and sent them back. I was looking for basic, easily presented information on both sexes without ramming convictions, morals or hang-ups that was presented respectfully and informatively to let the kids process information and open discussions. I also wanted books that tackled tough and uncomfortable issues - self-exploration, homosexuality, pornography, etc. I think all of these books do that on a variety of levels.
Initially, I hoped to scare the pants on my boys past he age of 25. Now I just want them to have accurate information and parents who have informed them to the best of our ability. I am hopeful that our example, willingness to teach, listen and love will make more of an impression than the media messages they are bombarded with in the world each day.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle
I started by going to my library for research on what was avaialble and ended up with 15 rather graphic book titles in my possession. My 11 yo was VERY selective in what he would carry out of the library and "needed a bag". After weeks of review and getting the pants scared off me a few times - "chicken parties," "Sexting," "Rainbow" games in middle schools. If you don't know what these are, google them. Our teens are more likely to catch an STD than get pregnant, many of which can cause infertility if not treated. And teens will be quiet about symptoms thinking we'll overreact that they are sexually active. Things have changed in big ways since our days.
After reviewing books, I have 3-5 to recommend by age ranges.
For ages 8-11 It's Perfectly Normal - Robie;
For 12-15 The Guy book: an owner's manual for teens (written like a car owners manual - 14yo found it amusing AND informative) he shared with me some of the amusing parts as convo starters, so that was a plus.
One fact that I read that has stuck with me is this. We think moms should talk to girls and dads should talk to boys. Speaking to the opposite sex parent about these issues gives them practice for when they talk to a potential mate about these delicate topics; and discussion is key before any further activity happens. So while that may be a plus or a minus, the figures are that boys who have discussions with their mothers are more likely to put off having sex than boys who only talk to their dads. I don't know what the dads are saying, but it seems mom has more effect here (as usual).
For parents, What Every 21st century Parent needs Know (from the author of From Diapers to Dating, and The Big Talk also good books recommended by a mom/teacher/counselor pal) - I like her format and writing style; The real truth about teens from hooking up to friends with benefits - written by an editor of Seventeen well-written, kind of scary but very factual. (I was shocked by some of the things in the current issue of Seventeen), realistic and timely, but still a wake up call for me.
For Moms with Boys - the Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality; male writer guy perspective, good backgorund info. for us mom's who feel out of the loop.
For kids 15-20 SexSmart: 501 reasons to hold off on sex - good for those what "would you say/do if" opportunities. I also found the 5 Love Languages of Teenagers helpful because those languages change as the kids age and it make sense to reevaluate from time to time.
Hope you find my research helpful to share. I found a few books that weren't worth my time or energy and sent them back. I was looking for basic, easily presented information on both sexes without ramming convictions, morals or hang-ups that was presented respectfully and informatively to let the kids process information and open discussions. I also wanted books that tackled tough and uncomfortable issues - self-exploration, homosexuality, pornography, etc. I think all of these books do that on a variety of levels.
Initially, I hoped to scare the pants on my boys past he age of 25. Now I just want them to have accurate information and parents who have informed them to the best of our ability. I am hopeful that our example, willingness to teach, listen and love will make more of an impression than the media messages they are bombarded with in the world each day.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle
Friday, April 17, 2009
Movie Madness
Call me old school, but I like my movies to entertain, not make me think about the plight of the world or make me regret spending the admission for something that is not even entertaining. If I want to learn, I read or listen to NPR. Movies are for escape, what was the only industry not to suffer during the 1930s? The movie industry - but it also cost about $.10 to see a movie then too. I saw Slumdog Millionaire last evening and spent much of it traumatized, which I guess was the point. This won Best Picture? When did the criteria slip to shock and revulsion at America from entertainment? When I got home explained it as part Quiz Show, part Pulp Fiction, part Passion of Christ and part Born in Brothels. About accurate? Earlier in the week I described The Curious Case of Benjamin Button as part Forrest Gump, part Legends of the Fall and part Grumpy Old Men. I did enjoy the "Did I ever tell you I've been struck by lightning 8 times," guy.
Over the last week, I have seen 3 movies. For some reason, I've been on a movie fix for the past several months. Maybe it's because I discovered a rare find in Federal Way $1 and $2 admissions to movies that are new to me. I was always a big fan of the family run small theater who gave their public a break in the wallet department. Since I rarely see them on opening weekends and usually am 2-3 years behind the general public on my Netflix list. In the past month I've seen Australia, Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire and then went into shock at paying $10/person to be tortured with Aliens and Monsters in 3-D - all the boredom, all the yawning coming right at you all the time. I'm tired of the "I'm a beautiful butterfly!" in every kid's animated feature to alleviate the nobody dies in kid's features.
I'm going to be looking for a comedy in the future until I'm good and ready and look at all the spoilers. Now I'm shocked, Oprah is twittering during her show. It's one thing for me to surf and watch half-heartedly, it's quite another for her to twitter while producing her show - the nerve! I guess I'm ranting today, time for a chill pill.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
Over the last week, I have seen 3 movies. For some reason, I've been on a movie fix for the past several months. Maybe it's because I discovered a rare find in Federal Way $1 and $2 admissions to movies that are new to me. I was always a big fan of the family run small theater who gave their public a break in the wallet department. Since I rarely see them on opening weekends and usually am 2-3 years behind the general public on my Netflix list. In the past month I've seen Australia, Benjamin Button, Slumdog Millionaire and then went into shock at paying $10/person to be tortured with Aliens and Monsters in 3-D - all the boredom, all the yawning coming right at you all the time. I'm tired of the "I'm a beautiful butterfly!" in every kid's animated feature to alleviate the nobody dies in kid's features.
I'm going to be looking for a comedy in the future until I'm good and ready and look at all the spoilers. Now I'm shocked, Oprah is twittering during her show. It's one thing for me to surf and watch half-heartedly, it's quite another for her to twitter while producing her show - the nerve! I guess I'm ranting today, time for a chill pill.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
Sunday, April 12, 2009
80s prom for Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk 4/11/09
Pal Mindy told us about a FUNdraiser for a 3Day Walk for Breast Cancer team. We went to an 80s prom in West Seattle to rock to the band Ready, Set, GO! There was a plethera of day glow dresses, vans and Converse hi-tops. The music was all of our favorites and we could not only UNDERSTAND the words, but sing along, badly but it was a good time and the gals had about 50-75 people in attenDANCE, so it was successful in their efforts. Dan even attended just to enjoy the tunes. We found out the next day he was suffering from pneumonia and he went directly to the Urgent Care.
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