I keep getting asked how I feel and hadn't really thought about it much. Physically, the scars are healing well considering what was done, I feel some intestinal progress just under the skin surface which can be unsettling, but glad it is working as intended. Emotionally, relieved that this recovery period will be the most difficult part of the return to full health/activity, a new sense of priorities to take care of myself and become dedicated to daily exercise, eager to enjoy the boys for the summer break and enjoy being a mom again.
Mentally, I feel much more ambitious than my body can support - I want to leap and turn cartwheels and go do all sorts of things now that I'm without cancer that I could not muster interest in last month; but my body will revolt if I try, so I'm just making a long list of things to do when I can do them. I took a good look in the mirror last night and 6 weeks off daily maintenance of the little things is a lot of energy to restore - legs need to be shaved, brows and lip waxed, the gray hairs are in far ahead of the coloring schedule - no small wonder I've been under a LITTLE stress recently. The boys' rooms are toxic waste dumps and the housekeeping, well, it's non-existent. But in the big picture, all is well. In a few weeks, I'll be hustling at full capacity (mid-July), and can recover what's wacky now in a dedicated week of work... I haven't even considered the backlog there, the first day back will be a doozy - too ambitious for this week.
Spiritually, I still feel very blessed, thankful and on the right track. I see a need to find a purpose even more strongly, probably from all the Oprah magazines I've been reading. Why have an article about a destitute women's village in Africa right next to cellulite reduction program cream and pills - our values are so skewed; they need assistance to survive and would be thrilled to have enough reserve fat to form cellulite. We wouldn't survive a week in the life of a really impoverished woman in the third world. We have no idea how fortunate we are to be born here, have access to medical care, food, family, conveniences, roads, traffic, and all the blights of progressive society to complain about.
Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P
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