Too many brain farts to sleep. I keep thinking of things I need to do, pack, complete, get, etc. and today is my sister, Denise's b-day (she is 30-teen too!). News about Ian, his bone marrow treatment is going well, "clearing" is the official term and he's having some trouble with nausea from the chemo but doing well overall. Any good news is welcome when the bad news was initially so devastating.
Well, Wednesday night after getting the all clear for liquor - I overdid with a 1/2 bottle of reisling. Spoke to a few people and have very little recollection of the evening, but I was still wearing my knickers in the a.m., so it couldn't have gotten too racy as I didn't leave the house. Slept REALLY well that night too and no hangover?! Might be onto something here. The packing is wrapping up and the boys are getting wound tighter than springs to escape the usual boring summer at home and actually DO SOMETHING!
I've been spending a few days trying to put my finger on what this whole experience has changed about me or taught me over the last two months. I'm not sure I have it exactly, but it's making me be really present and focused on what I am doing and why and how it affects me and those around me. I'm listening more, explaining my feelings and requests to the boys and letting them know how their actions affect those around them. I'm finding perceptions in the weirdest places and realizing that EVERYONE we encounter in a day has their own "cancer scare" going on in their life and we need to be more patient, honest, compassionate and trust each other more. I'm also learning I can ask for help and extra time and the world won't crash to a halt.
Spending some time in a wheelchair for errands at Fred Meyer and on our trip through airports will give and have given me new perspectives on life from that angle. Reaching desired items in a store is infuriating while seated. Waiting for people to acknowledge that they are in your way requires saintly patience and most people look through you without acknowledgment. A great learning experience for me and the boys as well. Hope it will change our responses in the future when this episode is a distant memory.
By the time we return from this trip I should be fair to middling and gaining ground in endurance, exercise aspirations, meet with a nutritionist to get ideas on what changes I need to make to accommodate a reduced intestinal processing system and get back to work. An ambitious week that tires me out now just looking at it.
Have a safe and festive 4th with rest and relaxation with your leisure activity of choice.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle
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