Late Night/Early Morning Brain Activity

Too many brain farts to sleep. I keep thinking of things I need to do, pack, complete, get, etc. and today is my sister, Denise's b-day (she is 30-teen too!). News about Ian, his bone marrow treatment is going well, "clearing" is the official term and he's having some trouble with nausea from the chemo but doing well overall. Any good news is welcome when the bad news was initially so devastating.

Well, Wednesday night after getting the all clear for liquor - I overdid with a 1/2 bottle of reisling. Spoke to a few people and have very little recollection of the evening, but I was still wearing my knickers in the a.m., so it couldn't have gotten too racy as I didn't leave the house. Slept REALLY well that night too and no hangover?! Might be onto something here. The packing is wrapping up and the boys are getting wound tighter than springs to escape the usual boring summer at home and actually DO SOMETHING!

I've been spending a few days trying to put my finger on what this whole experience has changed about me or taught me over the last two months. I'm not sure I have it exactly, but it's making me be really present and focused on what I am doing and why and how it affects me and those around me. I'm listening more, explaining my feelings and requests to the boys and letting them know how their actions affect those around them. I'm finding perceptions in the weirdest places and realizing that EVERYONE we encounter in a day has their own "cancer scare" going on in their life and we need to be more patient, honest, compassionate and trust each other more. I'm also learning I can ask for help and extra time and the world won't crash to a halt.

Spending some time in a wheelchair for errands at Fred Meyer and on our trip through airports will give and have given me new perspectives on life from that angle. Reaching desired items in a store is infuriating while seated. Waiting for people to acknowledge that they are in your way requires saintly patience and most people look through you without acknowledgment. A great learning experience for me and the boys as well. Hope it will change our responses in the future when this episode is a distant memory.

By the time we return from this trip I should be fair to middling and gaining ground in endurance, exercise aspirations, meet with a nutritionist to get ideas on what changes I need to make to accommodate a reduced intestinal processing system and get back to work. An ambitious week that tires me out now just looking at it.
Have a safe and festive 4th with rest and relaxation with your leisure activity of choice.
Peace and Blessings ;-P
Michelle

Sydney Aquarium

These jelly fish in black light look more like glass art than sea creatures to me.








With just one day in Sydney, I spent three hours in the Sydney Aquarium.



My favorite part was walking through the ocean tubes while sharks, immense sea turtles and sting rays swim over, around and beside you. The closest thing to scuba diving for the water fearful. I love to visit aquariums almost more than anything else when traveling.

The sea turtle pictured is about the size of a small living room CHAIR, roughly 4' head to tail and 3' across.

Coral reef fishes in among the rocks and an assortment of corals. This was a better view than I had at the GBR, and more varieties of sea creatures and corals live in deeper currents.

Peaceful blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Sydney Chinese Garden

It's getting harder to remember what locales I was in each day, so I'm going to start jumping to specific places and stray from my actual itinerary.

Today, we have photos all from the Sydney Chinese Garden of Friendship.

This is the one stop Dan asked me to make in Sydney and it was just what I needed at the time I was there, peaceful, rustic, a piece of nature in the middle of the city. He has good instincts and knows worthwhile stops.

Would have been nice to have him there with me but he was with me in spirit. That prevented all the complicated map and navigational confrontations of traveling with a spouse or partner.

The one drawback to ALL of my AUS photos is that I mistakenly reset my camera to a lower resolution on photos. When I got home I had almost 1000 photos on one memory card. So, the possibilities of enlarging to anything other than 4x6 or making note cards or anything other than posting online, basically, is not possible. But at least I have photos and amazing experiences to recall. Enjoy, peace and blessings! Permission granted to copy and use for your own personal wallpaper, screen savers, etc.

Michelle ;-P

Moreton Island, Brisbane QLD

Found some of my old emails to accompany photos of what I'm talking about. I'll try including those for a few days and see if it is more or less confusing. The posts coming between now 6/25 and 7/3 will be prepped and remotely posted -- ooooh, technological. These photos are of the 4WD bus on Moreton Island, Mt. Tempest and North Beach, Moreton Island.

"Shopping DAY! Found some great goodies to bring home and wanted to hit the last suburb before I pay Sydney prices. Seems to have already jumped for summer in some areas. It's been 2 days without shops, hot, sweaty clothing and no music.
Anyway, we are in Byron Bay just south (?) of Surfers Paradise and since I had two days without a little town to explore, I decided to skip surfing for 3 hours and explore the shops to find some lighter wear. I gave up the sarong and bikini once we hit larger towns - fine for campsites and on a hot bus, but I still have a modicum of modesty in general public. Found some great ones to bring home as they pack well.
For the last two days (I think I last emailed late Tuesday night) we were in a remote area out of Brisbane called Moreton Island. The island is the largest vegetated sand island (you know what I mean - I've been vegetating on beaches so much lately I scarcely have a brain cell left.) Well, that and rum and coke comes in cans like beer here. HAPPY CAMPER! The island is accessible only by ferry and 4WD bus once you are off the ferry. The 4WD is major, with swaths cut through hills where you are below land level. The travel to and from points of interest is horrendous but once you get there OMG! We swam in a freshwater lagoon - no waterfalls - but small fish nibbled your toes, hiked to Moreton lighthouse and then swam in North Beach with body surfing boards (Joe, bringing one on the plane would be a nightmare, we'll order online next summer). They are 1/2 length surfboards that let you float in along the waves. Great for a non-swimmer like me as you can do it in less than 3 feet of water. The area we were in is too cold for jellies, but considerably warmer than Puget Sound, so I was a happy camper - got some salt water mouthwash, but no worries!
The nights here have brought fabulous thunder and lightning storms about 10-11 pm which clear to beautiful weather by 10 a.m. Just in time for us and the area is desperate for water there are drought notices all over Queensland. We hiked to the top of Mt. Tempest (very steep, but it didn't kill the old lady and I slept like a baby! Went sandboarding in a place called the desert, but the sand has so much silica it is not hot to the feet. Then back to the beach for more body surfing. We ended up towing one of the small girls, Ellie in the surf, snoozing on the beach and only a slight sunburn. I have shared the vinegar therapy with the girls and they were shocked how well it worked. Vinegar bottles are in PVC tubes on all beaches to treat jelly stings, so it's easily accessible. Provided by the beach communities as a public courtesy like toilet paper.
I have moments of being VERY homesick, but now I only have 8 days left, 2 until we reach Sydney and I'm on my own for 5 in Auckland. Kind of looking forward to alone time and no real schedule. We've been up early and arrive at most sites late enough to have little time to explore the area. I would have liked to do a city tour here, but couldn't get guide to arrange as he was "otherwise occupied". I've learned a great deal about the ins and outs of things and packing and such from the others. But there are some I will not miss.
The guys were all to share a room with the guide last night and once Adam saw that yhe "gal pal" was moving in, he knocked on our door to see if he could score a bed in our mutliple room. We gave him our last bed and had quite a giggle about sharing a bunk bed with me on top. RISQUE HUMOR, has to substitute for other things. He was taking quite a kidding about sharing with 4 girls. When we all came out this a.m., several of the kids at the hostel clapped and waved at him. He played it up quite well looking very tired and bedraggled.
Anyway, we heard about the latest school shooting in the US. The kids ask me how someone can get a gun into schools and I tell them how crowded classess are and underpaid and stressed teachers are and they just shake their heads.
While riding next to the guide last night, he was explaining that in AU your auto license has a 12 point system and if you perform an infraction, you lose points. Not wearing a seatbelt doubles the infraction and an infraction over holiday weekends doubles as well. So it is possible to lose ones license by losing all 12 points at one time. They are very strict about traffic laws in New South Wales NSW, where we are now.
It is HEAVILY fined to remove sand or shells from any national park beach. That is one thing the TSA luggage search really looks for when leaving the country, so I'm taking photos of the really good ones. I'll have more beach time this afternoon when the kids hang-glide - I know my limits. Hard to get around Auckland in a body cast. I'm taking more time to JUST BE in each area and separate myself from the kids, so that I can share something they did not get to see while they are thrill seeking.

Love, peace and blessings to all!
Michelle Friday 11:09 a.m. ;-P

Off Baby Food and Cleared for Drinks!

SCORE! Visit to the surgeon was OK today. I can introduce any foods but not high fiber, popcorn, corn, nuts or granola. Anything that "wouldn't travel well from point A to point B". Got my note to travel that I need food on my person and a butt skate for the airport. AND, I can now drink - a good thing when convening with multiple family relations. Woo hoo! Fire up the blender for something other than smoothies!

Drove to North Seattle in crappy traffic, went to dr. appt., stopped by WARM for a bit to do some data entry and have a snack and got home at 1:30 - VERY ready for a nap. And it was all good! If it would have been me on a normal day, I would have done some damage at Northgate in the process, so I'm not back to 100% yet - next appt. for sure! Did notice some new stores to check out as I passed by on the freeway, so the shopping muscles are alive, just flabby.

We'll be packing voraciously Thursday and Friday to get OOT and then we have an 8:00 a.m. p/u for the airport to be ready for. That's an amusing anecdote waiting to happen - my parents, the newlyweds, our boys and me vertical and ready at 8:00 a.m.?! Dan's up at 5 daily, even weekends, so he's a no-brainer - but he's planning to pack Saturday a.m. Can you say PRO-crastinator; he gives me s**t because I was packed for Australia 3 weeks ahead of departure; so we balance. ;-P

WARNING: The following is NOT G-rated. Some years ago, during my early 90s working stint, a list called the boobie list made the rounds when we passed jokes on PAPER, and not the Internet - remember those days?!? Since I've christened the BRA chix, I thought it would be fun to find and post again. And, eureka, you really can find almost anything on the blasted i-net. I'm sure we can come up with other variations as well, with our creative and deviant minds. The first two that come to my mind are tattooed breasts (*o)(o*) and
breast cancer survivor breasts X (o) - ({HUGS} you know who you are! ;-P). Put your additions in comments.

Guide to Breasts (Through the medium of ASCII text):

(o)(o) perfect breasts
-------------------------
( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts
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(*)(*) high nipple breasts
-------------------------
(@)(@) big nipple breasts (you know who you are)
-------------------------
oo A cups
-------------------------
{ O }{ O } D cups
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(oYo) wonder bra breasts
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( ^)( ^) cold breasts
-------------------------
(o)(O) lopsided breasts
--------------------------
(Q)(Q) pierced breasts
-------------------------
(p)(q) breasts w/hanging tassels
-------------------------
(:o)(o) bitten by a vampire breasts
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\o/\o/ Grandma's breasts
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( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts
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< o < o electric shock breasts
-------------------------
|o||o| android breasts
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(/)(o) scratched breasts (ouch)
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(%)(o) extra nipple breasts
-------------------------
($)($) Elle McPherson's breasts
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( o0o )( o0o ) Barbell pierced breast
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(^o)(o) zit on your breast
-------------------------
( o Y o ) poses for playboy magazine breasts

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-p 8 >= It's almost bikini weather

Wild and Weird week

Packing for SD trip, butting heads with the boys who want their first week of summer vacation to be all about them and the energy level is at about 60%. Ever want to just slow the world down to about 1/2 speed so you can catch up? That's where I am this week. The shock of the past several weeks hit me this week and I felt like I was having post-traumatic stress episode, anxiety, moodiness, depression all at once. The simple fact of HAVING to get things done snapped me out of that one quickly and here we go again. Six phone calls to get our Rx refilled, one kid needs shoes AND sandals prior to trip, can't find his goggles, all of the clean laundry I had the boys put away cannot now be located to PACK, and a temperamental washing machine... now I know why we never leave the house for extended trips as a family.

As a form of escape, I started reading some of the "bodice rippers" some pals have lent me for recuperation reading. These are high humor in truest form from the intense alliteration at peak points in the passionate parts, to the names of the characters. This prose is just prime for a parody of epic proportions - not to mention the appendages of the protagonists. The one I'm reading now took 286 pages to get to the first love scene between the main characters - people, by the time they got through their three pages of heaving bosoms and turgid tumescence I needed a shower, a cigarette and a dictionary to look up some of these phrases. NOTE: Don't give romance novels to anyone recovering from heart issues; they may not survive.

Felt good enough to go get a lip/brow wax - 6 weeks of neglect is hard to get control of without desperate measures. Tomorrow is my last meeting with the surgeon to assess the recovery and post-op situation. My first question is "Can I drink yet?" A little more tame than the last meeting. I'll fill you in tomorrow night and share something funny I found online if I can find it again.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

More Infrequent Posts... must mean I'm getting better.

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. Must mean life is getting busier and I'm getting better or having a relapse and spending more time off my feet. Today it is the latter. Next Saturday, we (my immediate and extended family) embark on a whirlwind flight to Rapid City, SD for a first ever family reunion of my grandmother's siblings' children. All of the original siblings have previoously exited life as we know it and are partying in the great hereafter.

It's time for the next generation to get acquainted - thankfully, I know some and no one is of the Star Trek variety, as far as I am aware, yet. Some I last saw when I was 5 and visited my great-grandparents; some I've seen as recently as my sister's wedding, some I've hung out with somewhere in between and some I have never met. The plan is to take it slow and easy, use wheelchair to conserve my energy and spend lots of time supervising the boys in the pool... in my bikini purchased in Australia! Surprisingly enough, my incisions are below the lines of my suit (thanks, Dr YUM!) and it's a hell of a testimony for a cancer survivor to be wearing a bikini less than a month after surgery - one small step for a BRA chick, one GIANT step for a 40 yo mom with a very disfigured belly button due to the amazing advances in laparoscopic surgical procedures, but a very brave one... there may even be photos at some point in the future. ;-P

The story behind the bikini purchase is somewhat amusing. When I planned my trip I had two swimsuits I planned to take with me and felt a bikini was just pushing it for a 40 yo mom. The first lost it's elastic in the boob department on our GBR trip, I tucked someone's camera case in for a moment and it was the straw that broke the camel's back - had to buy a $20 souvenir t-shirt on the boat to prevent indecent exposure. The other one-piece I had with me - a true mom suit with tummy control lining, was just too hot to be comfortable. The third day of our trip we were in a resort town that had a few boutiques. I popped in one morning while the kids were preparing to sky dive (not in my itinerary) and asked if they happened to have any in my size. Thankfully, they had 3 to choose from in the generous boob carriage department, and I found 1 I liked. However, when you purchase a bikini in a resort town, they tend to be priced at a premium. Before the trip, the core BRA chix had given me VISA gift cards for a splurge of my choice during my excursion - once I used all three VISA cards (!), my bikini was reduced in price from obscene to almost affordable, so splurge I did. What a rejuvenating experience. The result was not pretty, but it was refreshing. And now that my controlled diet has removed another dozen pounds, it's even a slight improvement.

Back to AUS trip photos (YAY!). Day 5 was the day we embarked and broke camp at 5 a.m., traveled in a van w/ no A/C to get to the Steve Irwin Zoo by opening at 9. We arrived in the parking lot at 8:30, breakfasted and packed lunches from our community food kitty and spent the entire day in the zoo, while our guide spent the day getting the AC fixed - great use of time!





Still learning layout tricks on this system... Photo 1 is the entrance sign so I know where I took the photos... Photo 2 is snack time for the crocks with the goofy Americans first on the menu, just kidding, he's a 14 ft long preserved croc. No way I'd be that close to a live one. Even the lizards running free like our zoo pigeons were freaking me out (photo # 5). The prerequisite kangaroo feeding (3) and (4) a wombat on a leash. The park was ridiculously expensive to gain admission ($48/person) but was fastidiously clean and there were visible improvements in every exhibit. It appears that the death of Steve Irwin has given the means to preserve and improve the park, the employees and visitors feel a deep sense of honor to support the animals he used to educate the public and protect. The amount of information about each animal was impressive. I took lots of photos of each for future kid reports - not everyone will have a cassowary report in 5th grade.

This was the morning I only saw my live kangaroos as we were leaving our campground, they were grazing near the entrance much like deer. I came to realize that we see kangas as an exotic animal and to the Australians, they are much like our deer - roving grazers that don't respect private property, populations explode and the meat is highly nutritious and sustainable. I read an article that kangaroo meat is one of the most healthy available in the world due to the fact that they exist in a less polluted habitat, get vital exercise in their method of movement, eat a more healthy natural diet than commercially raised cattle and chicken and have less fat due to their energy level. I only tried kangaroo meat once and it was a taste which reminded me of dark meat turkey crossed with steak texture.

This week will be busy with errands prepping for the SD trip, one last surgical post-op appt., getting the guys to help with packing and just getting it all completed before 10:00 a.m. Saturday?! I'll touch base from SD as Dan will not leave home w/o his laptop. He will be the photo guru for the week to capture all the festivities. He did so well with Denise's wedding, it's now a given role for him and makes social interaction easier to hide behind a camera.

It will be a week of pushing the envelope and many, many naps - pray for patience, energy and safe travels. I may post again later this week, but time may get away from me. I'll at least make a short one after the surgeon report on Wed.

Peace and Blessings!
Michelle ;-P 8 >= <-- me wearing said bikini, the emoticons just keep getting more unique...

Whitsunday Island Sailing trip

Ian is getting sprung early from Mary Bridge! He will be home Friday and go in weekly for treatments. He has been a real trooper during this period and his body is responding well to the chemotherapy. Many thanks for the prayers and holding his family in our hearts!

I was up 6 hours today and went to the dentist, the bad news is I have a toothache, the good news is it is just an overactive nerve that can be topically desensitized. I was fearing a root canal on top of everything else. Whew! Maybe my luck is holding out! The boys last day of school is Friday and Joe will transfer to Federal Way Public Academy for 8th grade. Nick will stay at KMVA until he joins Joe for 6th grade - he'll be in 5th next year. Summer will be busy with sports camps, some math skills classes for Joe and possibly science summer classes, a trip to South Dakota and a possible camping trip to Orcas Island. So much to do and only 8 weeks of school break?!

Your reward is more Australia photos! Today we are in Airlie Beach and take a sailing trip to the Whitsunday Islands. The Whitsundays is a popular vacation spot for native Aussies and I can see why, beautiful pristine beaches, amazing resorts (way out of my $ range) and friendly folks.


Meg, Sylvia and Joe BBQ kabobs on the beach for the hungry masses - since we didn't eat until 9 p.m., most had preciously hit the bottle shop and any form of protein was hastily consumed without regard for taste or doneness. I stuck to roasted veggies that night as the gals were not the most thorough cooks... such is the luck of the draw with communal cooking.





Took this sailing vessel to the Whitsundays. It carried a crew of 8 and about 50 passengers and was a very soothing trip. I napped both ways on the deck. Luckily, I was buddied with Caroline a med student who was fastidious about sunscreen application every 2 hours, so I didn't burn to a crisp.







Petra, Jurgen, Caroline and Me. By that time, the four of us were getting tired of the other 10, so it was good to be apart for several hours break. We were kind of the four odd men out. Jurgen spoke mainly German and the British kids spoke too quickly for him, Petra was 30 - nuf said and Caroline was responsible and fun to be around.
We clicked and would separate when the "kids" got on our nerves.





Whitsunday Island Beach - the sand had so much silica, it was not hot to the touch on your feet, the water was pure turquoise and clear. This is the beach I visualized during my MRI and CT scans. So good to have that in my imagination to pull up for those periods. Never knew how useful it would come to be in the near future!

Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Back Down Under! Mission Beach Sunrise

This is a SUNRISE on the Pacific! One of the highlights of my trip - I had to get up at 5 a.m. to capture it and I shot photos for 45 minutes. One of those "moments" of the trip with no cost but my investment of time and awe. Like the Mastercard commercial: Airline ticket to Australia: $4500 on Mastercard; tour expenses: $1200 on Mastercard; seeing your first ever SUNRISE over the Pacific in 40 years: Priceless.






My cohorts for the excursion of the morning, Petra and Natalie. Petra was so sunburned from the previous day's whitewater raft trip that she was awake when we were heading to the beach and I showed her that vinegar takes the sting out of sunburn. Bottles of vinegar are posted along AUS beaches to alleviate jelly stings. Nat was from Wales and Petra from Amsterdam.







These photos are from a sunrise over the Pacific at 5:00 a.m. on the first week in AUS. The birds were making so much ruckus and the humidity was climbing even at that ungodly hour, being up was better than being in a sticky sleeping bag and we got first showers to boot.

This is a kookaburra who posed for us and watched the sunrise as well. This is the closest I ever got to one and they have a heck of a laugh. These birds are AUS national alarm clocks.


Two more days of school for the boys and I'll sort through more photos to post tomorrow. Peace and Blessings,

Michelle ;-P

How am I feeling - 2 weeks post-op

I keep getting asked how I feel and hadn't really thought about it much. Physically, the scars are healing well considering what was done, I feel some intestinal progress just under the skin surface which can be unsettling, but glad it is working as intended. Emotionally, relieved that this recovery period will be the most difficult part of the return to full health/activity, a new sense of priorities to take care of myself and become dedicated to daily exercise, eager to enjoy the boys for the summer break and enjoy being a mom again.

Mentally, I feel much more ambitious than my body can support - I want to leap and turn cartwheels and go do all sorts of things now that I'm without cancer that I could not muster interest in last month; but my body will revolt if I try, so I'm just making a long list of things to do when I can do them. I took a good look in the mirror last night and 6 weeks off daily maintenance of the little things is a lot of energy to restore - legs need to be shaved, brows and lip waxed, the gray hairs are in far ahead of the coloring schedule - no small wonder I've been under a LITTLE stress recently. The boys' rooms are toxic waste dumps and the housekeeping, well, it's non-existent. But in the big picture, all is well. In a few weeks, I'll be hustling at full capacity (mid-July), and can recover what's wacky now in a dedicated week of work... I haven't even considered the backlog there, the first day back will be a doozy - too ambitious for this week.

Spiritually, I still feel very blessed, thankful and on the right track. I see a need to find a purpose even more strongly, probably from all the Oprah magazines I've been reading. Why have an article about a destitute women's village in Africa right next to cellulite reduction program cream and pills - our values are so skewed; they need assistance to survive and would be thrilled to have enough reserve fat to form cellulite. We wouldn't survive a week in the life of a really impoverished woman in the third world. We have no idea how fortunate we are to be born here, have access to medical care, food, family, conveniences, roads, traffic, and all the blights of progressive society to complain about.

Peace and Blessings,
Michelle ;-P

Mission Beach, QLD in 10/07

When we were not housed in hostels, we "beach camped" this was our first stop - Mission Beach Caravan Park. I would have been happy to stay here for a few days - it was our longest stop of 3 days. The kids sky dove onto the beach, white water rafted and hung in town and at the beach. I shopped for a bikini, saw some waterfalls (!) and hung at the beach. This time was when we started hitting the high humidity at 7:30 a.m. Sarongs and bikinis no matter what shape you are in.

This is our oh so cozy travel bus for 14 passengers and the blue trailer held all of our worldly possessions en route - tents, sleeping bags and pads, cooking utensils and FOOD!


Milla Milla Falls - the highlight of the day. The kids were white water rafting and our guide took us on a three waterfall loop so we got to see some of the natural beauty of the area - don't ask where it is, I have no clue - it was a good thing we were driving with a local.

The pool was a welcome amenity with the humidity. We hung at the deep end and drank beer at the hottest part of the day - no glass near the pool but cans are OK and I never drink beer except when it is the only thing to cool you off.

Sylvia, Megan and Jurgen at far table, Alex, Charlotte and Charlie at near. Waiting for the rest of the group to break camp and travel.

We have a really great sunrise OVER the Pacific tomorrow a.m. to share...

Michelle ;-P

Escape to Australia anyone?

This weather sure sucks for June, and my energy level sagged so I took a step back today. Drove boys to school, bed, tea, chat with Lucy, bed, pick up boys, send Joe for one errand on the way home, bed, phone calls, computer work, shower, dinner, bed. What an exciting day... Up for an Australian escape? Good, me too!


Nat, Caroline, Alex, Charlotte cold and wet on glass-bottom boat trip.











Me with giant clam shell on Michaelmas Cay.
$15K fine to take that puppy home - that would have blown a big hole in the vacation budget on the first day of tour.








From left Sylvia, Charlie, Petra, Meg, me Adam, Charlie, Ellie (blonde w/back to us) we are signing the releases to do snorkeling and scuba. I didn't do either, having just met my group and not sure who would truly stick with a new partner - I observed. It was also about 60 degrees and a bit nippy.



Staghorn coral from glass-bottom boat trip. No other photos came out well and I really missed the sea turtle. That one had to be experienced live.

Weather improved the next day as we hit Mission Beach. Camped in an RV park and it was the best so far b/c it had a pool. We hit the humid weather then and spent HOURS just hanging in the pool and viewing Mirra Mirra Falls. MUCH better photos come tomorrow!

Michelle ;-P

Set your pace, it's not a race...

Had a busy weekend, a minor setback Saturday night and I'm sticking to an easy pace now. Drove the boys to school this morning and got up at normal time... now it's time for another nap. Found a note from my days in the hospital when I was w/o computer with a coherent joke... What do you call a compulsive emailer/blogger with no computer access? Textually frustrated ;-P Ba da bing! And that was even on pain meds.

The BRA chix are mobilized and have a plan to take care of Joanne's family - we are good on a regular day, but when we are really in the zone, WE ROCK! All I'm doing is errands and laundry for the next two weeks, then after we return from South Dakota, I'll be up for more serious duty. Ian is enjoying the play room, library and other amenities at Mary Bridge and taking in his chemo. Parents weathered the first weekend of duty swapping well, we got their freezer stocked with food, lawn mowed and support persons alerted and scheduled.

Planned to go in to work one day this week, but it may have to wait until Saturday when someone else can transport and I only have to use the brain while I am there. I'm a one-trick pony these days, either drive or complete a task, not both. People keep telling me to pace myself and I felt great Saturday and over extended - walked 1.5 miles with Joe, baked, tried to get by with no naps to improve night sleep - and it backfired big time. Panic attack at 3 a.m., confused pain meds., insomnia, pain - not a good mix. I slept all of 3 hours and then went to church - which was actually the best thing for me. I got energized just being in my faith community, lots of love for me and our family in that building. We are blessed!

I'm not on the computer with photo access, so the Australia photos will continue tomorrow.
Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Time for a Vacation Break

By request, no bad news today and more Australia photos, with explanations. We are going to start from day 1 and go forward as long as it takes. So, these are from my first day in Cairns. I was the wacky gal walking down the street pinching herself because I could not believe I was finally here! I was just amazed at the public art on the Esplanade, the tropical flowers that we only see in documentaries and just the smell, the feel, the sound of tropical birds making a heck of a racket from every tree - and these birds do not keep banker's hours, they make noise whenever the impulse arises.

Some kind of trailing orchid???








Public art at the play area on the Cairns esplanade.












My first hostel, not bad, but things got better as the trip progressed. The first night I needed a hotel within walking distance of where my tour met at 7:00 a.m. the next day. This photo is from the departing hotel just across the street.








Just a street in Cairns, my point for the boys is that it doesn't look much different except for the palm trees.




Play ground on the Cairns Esplanade.










This will be good therapy to go back through my trip day by day. Tomorrow will feature the tour group and going to the Great Barrier Reef - it was cold and cloudy that day, so the photos are not fantastic. Energy level is good today, Joe and I walked 1.5 miles this morning with only 3 short stops. I slept 10 hours last night and feel some semblance of normal except I feel like someone stabbed me in the lower abdominal region from time to time. It's getting better every day, I'm getting stronger every day and tomorrow we party!

Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

It takes rain to make a rainbow...

Just got a call from one of the BRA Chix. Ian went in this a.m. for a bone marrow draw and he has leukemia. He will stay at Mary Bridge and have chemo for the next 10 days and then we reassess to see what the next steps are. Joanne is staying at the hospital for now, Paul will do the home thing with their other child, Rachel. The BRA Chix are having a mobilization meeting by 3-way phone call on Sunday. Between the 3 of us, we'll get it covered and do what we do best, take care of each other for as long as it takes, doing whatever it takes.

I really wish the outcome were different. I just had a feeling that 2 positive oncology reports were just not possible in the same week, darn it. My own experience has taught me a great deal and we'll learn even more from this journey.

Please continue to pray for good outcome for Ian, strength and rest for Joanne, patience and grace for the rest of the world in dealing with the Bridges family. Love, peace and blessings - and there are small blessings even in this experience, we just haven't found them yet.

Michelle ;-P

Thursday doc recap in a little more detail...

http://www.babycenter.com/0_cord-blood-banking-an-overview_1362261.bc
Information about cord blood donation - forward to anyone you know who is pregnant or making efforts to get that way.

This week is a good news/bad news: Pal Ian is having bone marrow draw Friday morning. Seventh circle of hell for his parents and more of that infernal waiting for results. PRAY! I will not complain about pain today in honor of Ian. I wish I could drink Bailey's in honor of Joanne. Later...

Had the idea of researching cord blood donation and it looks like it has made great progress since I looked into it when pregnant with Nick. At that time, there was no way to donate the cord blood and the placenta was "medical waste"; unless of course, you wished to pay a private company $400/yr to store it for your private use. If Ian ends up needing bone marrow transplant it looks like this is the new trend instead of finding cooperative matching live donors. Less invasive, less costly and less chance of rejection. Interesting how something we have always wasted can be recycled.

The status of my doc visits yesterday is "it's all good". Surgeon removed 12" of my large intestine including some areas of diverticulitis and 27 lymph nodes, good margins to check for other spread of cancer. All came back negative. Healing is going well, I will be able to resume most all activities, exercise, even work in mid-July. Except housework - vacuuming, hauling heavy objects - that needs to wait 8-10 weeks. Darn. I had a long list of questions for the surgeon and he went down the list answering each one fully and completely, even with humor on some. He was THRILLED the pathology news was so good and seemed proud of his work on my abdomen. I'm thrilled even with the scars, and may even proudly wear my bikini from Australia this summer... in the privacy of my own back yard ;-P

The oncologist doesn't have all of the pathology tests back yet, so I need to go back in mid-July for those. The ones he has back look good, it was a Stage 1 T2 tumor and he's checking to see if it has an 18Qminus marker as well as if it is diploid or anuloid. HUH? The tumor had grown into but not through the muscle wall and was contained from spreading to lymph nodes. The other tests will show if it is genetic mutation and if it was a rapid or slow growing cancer. The thought of both docs is that it could have been there from 3-10 years before starting to show symptoms. Since some people NEVER show symptoms, I was actually lucky. Recurrence rate based on those results put me in about 10% chance of recurrence within 5 years. I will have to have annual blood tests, CT scan and after 5 years will be considered cured with no recurrence. Should be a piece of cake if I follow through on my plans to make me a more hostile host to cancer cells - the old diet and exercise game.

I finally feel like I can breathe again. Sleep is a bit elusive - note the time of this post - but will get back to normal. I feel I need to find a purpose for why this occurred and what I'm supposed to do about it. For now, that is support Joanne and her family while they help Ian.

Getting the whole family in on that act. My dad was sent to Archie McPhee's last week to collect stuff 8yo boy appropriate - who better for the job. The only place in town to get propeller beanies, chicken catapults and other wacky stuff. Mom and I spent Monday separating items into mailable boxes and apparently, he has already received 3 - way to go, TEAM PHENICIE!

Looking forward to celebrating with my faith community on Sunday! It's been a rapid and bumpy ride, but seems to be smoothing to a dull roar now! AMEN!

Feeling lots of PEACE and many BLESSINGS!
Michelle ;-P

Check up with surgeon and oncologist today

Surgeon/Moore: All looks good, I can drive next week. No hot tubs, swimming or bathing for a month; but I can shower, so no need to stand upwind.

Oncologist/Dong: No chemo necessary, come back in 1 month for more pathology results. Run blood tests and CT scans annually and to check for any recurrence (less than 10% chance), after 5 years of clear checkups I'm cured. No more lab/blood work necessary for either doc.

Good, because they stuck me 3 times and I was not cooperative. Didn't get enough blood to run a chem panel, but enough to do a blood count. Probably due to being tired and dehydrated from being up all day. I should sleep well tonight. Didn't sleep until 4 a.m. last night.

Tired, going to bed at 7, and will update the blog in the a.m. Just getting the basics out to the masses tonight. It's been a LONG day... ;-P

Is it Wednesday already?

American Cancer Society Information about Colo-Rectal Cancer:
http://acs.p.delivery.net/m/p/acs/email/preview.asp?cid=12766623636&pid=724&mid=1099756672&msf=H

This seems like a long link, but I have been looking for a quick link for colon cancer information and POOF! This morning it appeared in my email box. I'm having a hard day, more pain waiting for that first... evacuation of the system and I'm a little tense. Those of you who have given birth know the feeling. "Whew, glad that's over. What? You mean I have to poop before I can go home?! Yea right, those muscles are in Tahiti right now and don't wish to be disturbed." Anyway, same general feeling, different situation.

Yesterday was busy and I may have overdone it. Dan was my babysitter on a flex-day from work and we made 2 lasagnes and delivered to Jenny (of the two kids having tonsilectomies BRA Chix). She greeted me at the door with "Aren't we supposed to be bringing YOU food?!" It was a good outing and good to get out of the house, but for some reason my Tylenol PMs did not work to let me sleep last night, so I'll be catching up today. Tomorrow is full of Dr. appts and I'll be in Seattle all day. I may have Joe type the update when I get home and dictate from the couch. Sounds like a plan.

Questions about services at St. C
1) Attire - come as you are - Bra Chix, let's leave the bras INSIDE the clothing for formality sake... we can take a photo out of doors afterwards if the spirit moves us.
2) Bring - yourself, any family, and a celebratory spirit. If you really must bring something make it a non-perishable food item for the food bank. We've noticed they have no cookies, something Dan set out to change yesterday. Peanut butter, tuna, soups, chili, etc. are always in high demand.
3) How formal is the service? Formal? St. C.? Not at all. We give it a good attempt at Easter and Christmas or if the Bishop visits, but flexibility and openness is what clinched it for us. We have a 3 yo Mason who wanders throughout the whole church sitting on various laps of his fans, it is a very open layout and relaxed, no kneelers, no pews, comfortable chairs. Try it, it will be a good fit.
4) Do we have to commit an offering? Not required. If you feel moved to, that is between you and God.
5) How long do you plan to party? I plan to be home for a nap by 12-12:30 at the latest and will be pooped from just getting dressed, getting there and participating.

Peace and Blessings, my first nap of the day is calling...
Michelle ;-P

It was STAGE 1 !!! GOOD NEWS !!!

Phone call today from surgeon at 12 p.m. says the pathology shows the cancer was in stage 1 which means contained in the tumor/tissue which was removed from my large intestine. Very likely no chemotherapy or radiation will be necessary. We go to oncologist appt. Thursday to cross t's and dot i's, but that should be the end of this adventure.

I have spent most of the day on the phone, emailing and texting the news to anyone and everyone. Feeling more relaxed now, that I can let out the breath I have been holding to see what comes next.

Mom was here when I received the call and she is visibly relieved. It has been a heck of a last 30 days for my family as well. The boys were glad to hear the news but no real reaction. Everyone else has been very excited and relieved after I explain what exactly that means.

So, as promised, there will be champagne, mimosas and cake after the 10:00 Mass at St. Columba's Episcopal Church this weekend. All are welcome and the mood will be festive, we won't tell your deity of choice, if you wish to join in the celebratory atmosphere. St. Columba's is located at 26715 Military Road S., Kent, WA 98032 (253) 854-9912. No need to RSVP or let us know you plan to attend, just be there! Mass starts at 10 and we adjourn to the reception room for refreshments about 11:30-11:45.

We'd love to see you Sunday and celebrate the blessings of friends,
family, good health, living in a country with access to excellent health care
and all the wonderful things life entails! This will be a celebration of life and a
celebration for all who supported us during this time of challenge.

Feeling a little weak, a little pain, but VERY, VERY blessed today!
Peace and blessings!
Michelle ;-P

Phinally, photos as promised...

Hey all,
Had some cake and ice cream for Joe's b-day topped off with a pain pill, mmmm. Then Joe got Guitar Hero for his b-day so we've been rockin' out; mom's held her rocking to the recliner. But I found my camera and uploaded the photos from the week including Dr. Yum... so without further adieu...

This is Dr. Moore the lefty surgeon who got rid of the tumor for us... now you see why it was worth going to North Seattle. How far am I willing to go to get a cute guy to touch my butt...



This is the anesthesiologist, he asked what my drink of preference was and said the pre- anesthesia would feel like a well-blended Bailey's and hot cocoa... whoo hoo!

That's the last thing I remember... then it was party time.








Feeling no pain just before going in or just after coming out, I never know if I'm coming or going, but that is TMI... I think this is post-op recovery. Hang 10/ILY to my peeps!

<-- ice chips, the delicacy of the day for Wed-Fri.
The anxious parents: they start by waiting for you for 9 months and end up waiting for you for the rest of your life, they look OK for the week they have had. Still exhibiting a sense of humor, that's what makes my family rock!










Sunday 6/8 - 4 days post-op, she looks pretty good for a chick who had her insides all whacked to heck.



I may not have as much to post for a few days, but you'll hear from me after the meeting on Thursday. Peace out! Blessings and much love to all!

Michelle ;-P

HAPPY LUCKY 13 JOE!

Can you believe it has only been 30 days since the colonoscopy? We've travelled so many places in that time. Thanks for every warm thought, supportive gesture and act of faith. I'm doing well, thanks. The pain level reminds me of PMS cramps and will be a distant memory in a few weeks. We find out Thursday if any further medical intervention is necessary like chemo or radiation. I'm continuing the positive thoughts and hoping to hear "we got it all". THAT would be cause for celebration. We have fellowship after every 10:00 service at St. Columba and all are welcome. When we're hosting a "Michelle's all clear" event, you will be invited. We won't tell your deity of choice (or your parents) you attended an Episcopal service and you may just like it enough to stay! ;-P

The events of the past month have taught me many things and have changed forever my response to hearing bad medical news about anyone. I always felt like I should leave people alone during medical issues, now I know that the distraction of an email or phone call puts worries away for a few minute and ARE welcome. Phone calls to let them know what's going on with your own kids are a GOOD distraction, especially if they are amusing. We tend to feel like we shouldn't bother those who are ill and I now know that those distractions kept me sane and reminded me that I was not alone in my shock about the situation.

Even when you didn't know what to say, just agreeing that this situation sucks and you were sorry it was happening was enough. Most of all, it has caused me to realize that every person I encounter may have something like this going on in their life at any given time and I need to cut people some slack. I also learned that you get much better medical care being kind, gracious and amusing than being bitchy. The medical professionals are doing jobs I would not do for any wage and are not appreciated, something Denise reminded me about police officers recently. An attitude of gratitude is on our family list for how to cope for this month and I'm trying to make it a continuing habit.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY FUZZY SLIPPERS
TO THE TOP OF MY FRIZZY HAIR!!! ;-P

Today is Joe's 13th b-day and if you told me last year what this year had in store... I would have never believed you. We'll measure him this evening at dinner and see if he hits the 6' mark.

A prayer request - we have done so well on the prayers and I've had more than my fair share dedicated to me. Please shift that effort and focus to Ian. He is the son of my BRA chick, JoAnne and he's going to the oncologist on Thursday too to find out why he has compression fractures in his spine causing him great pain. If only one of us can get good news that day, I'm hoping it's Ian and his family. This would be so much worse happening to a child. I can handle whatever comes next. Pray for a relief for his pain, good care for his condition, courage and strength for his family and God to wrap them in His strong arms, care for them and give them grace to deal with the next steps to help Ian.

Peace, love, blessings and positive energy...
Michelle ;-P

Home Again and in my Own Bed!

I'm home... It's 5:00 Saturday and I arrived here about 3 p.m. My parents chauffeured me home and Dan and the boys had the pizza boxes and empty pop cans all cleaned up. Actually, the place is spotless and germ-free - they had a housekeeper come do a bang-up job. Here's a recap of what has happened since Wednesday.

Wednesday 6/4 - Surgery day. Dan and I dropped the boys at school, he dropped me off with Ms. Hayes my newlywed sister and she drove me to Seattle. I was weak and zoned out most of the drive. We checked in at 10:00 and I was never so glad to get an IV. Met the surgeon and Anesthesiologist (photo will be posted tomorrow), rolled into surgery at 12:30. Surgery was completed by 3:30 p.m. 12 inches of my colon was removed and resectioned, the tumor and all damaged tissue was sent to pathology, the my appendix was also removed. The appendix should lie down in the pelvic area, mine was up near my liver and would have been serious if I ever had appendicitis mostly because ER crew might not have looked for it there. So it was removed as a precautionary step - added 5 minutes to the procedure.

I was in recovery and spoke to the boys at 4:30 to tell them all was well. Family left about 9:00 and I went to sleep. At 10:30, I was awakened with the sensation of no feeling in my legs. I could move my toes, but numb from buttocks to ankles from the epidural delivering my pain meds. Asked for an anesthesia consult and finally got one at 2:30 a.m. My main reason for panic was that my paternal grandfather was a paraplegic from a bad epidural. So there was understandable panic. Removed epidural the next day at 12 and legs were back to normal in 5 minutes. Didn't sleep much the first night.

Thursday - Second day passed some gas and got only ice chips, slept A LOT in the afternoon and evening. Boys and Dan visited Thursday night for about 1/2 hour just to reassure them that Mom was fine.

Friday - got out and walked around today, took a shower, ate some liquid diet (green jello), I may get out of here Saturday.

Saturday - EGGS for breakfast, baked potato for lunch and watched Pretty Woman until discharged at 2:00 p.m.

The oncology/surgery ward at Northwest in fairly small and the surgeon would make me his last stop for the night before taking off - hitting his star patient last. We'd shoot the breeze and check all the vitals and assess what I needed to do tomorrow to be out Saturday. I realized Friday that only 3 of us on the floor were ambulatory and heading toward discharge, the rest were very ill folks. I haven't been able to pray for myself, but found it easy to pray for others I saw there. Besides, I knew how many were praying on my behalf, and how much it helped us.

The BRA chicks visited late Friday night, Aunt Pam and Uncle Rick Friday evening and Mom and Dad daily - MANY THANKS, I had ample time to rest and recuperate. Mom got the fun jobs like helping me shower and dress.

Many thanks to all who pitched in while I was away - the boys look none the worse for wear and Dan is a bit ragged but did well on his own. I'll be on a "toddler diet" for several weeks, no driving while I'm on pain meds, no housework for a month and only light exercise. There are more foods that I CAN have than those I cannot - no high fiber, raw veggies, nuts, popcorn, etc. lots of soft/mild digested food. Officially, a mechanical soft food diet.

More insightful musings tomorrow in retrospect of this whole adventure...
Peace and blessings,
Michelle

zzzz...*snork*wha?

Oh crack. I forgot to post for two days, Mom is going to KILL me when she gets home. Snap.

Anywho, she is doing fine. We went to see her on...Thursday, was it? Yeah, because Thursday was color day...But yeah, she couldn't eat until she farted. We found that if you used them in different ways, you'd only need about half as much stuff as you do now in a hospital room.

Actually, Mom had gotten a surgical marker. She drew what is apparently her signature (;-P) on my right hand. I, who couldn't see it right, thought she meant a different one(,:P), which I drew on my left.

The next day, I get up, go to the bathroom, and there are little purple colons and capital P's all over my face. Lesson learned.

But yeah, Mom is fine. We had to clean up the house yesterday as she is getting home today, and the cleaner will be here in a few hours to do the rest.

Joe Chemo

The Climax!

For you...people who are dirty-minded, no, that's not what it is. This is Joe again, in case you're wondering.

I just got off the phone with Mom, it's rang...ringed...rung...more times today than I remember, in the space limit of an hour. So we're watching You Me and Dupree, right? Great movie, but don't get me off topic.

Anywho, Mindy (Dad's friend from work) calls me up. I answer the phone, one foot slowly slipping off that big bouncy exercise ball thingy. She asks if the surgery's done, I say it is, and she tells us we can talk to her anytime. I hang up after saying goodbye.

That was a waste of space, but what the crap, I gotta type this out ASAP.

Less than a minute later, I swear, Mom's sister Denise calls us up. At first I thought she was asking for news on Mom, so I tell her the same thing as Mindy; the surgery's over, everything went fine. She interrupts me to say, "Do you want to talk to your mom? Her voice is really soft, though."




I nearly wet my jeans, no lie.

I turn to Dad and Nick, and ask them if they want to talk to Mom. Dad tells Nick to pick up the other phone so we can both talk to her at once.

Her voice sounds as if it's three yards away from the phone, as if a nurse thought she was contagious and wouldn't let her touch it. I am at a loss for words. Compared to Mom at this moment, Nick and I sound like we're shouting through megaphones.

Amazingly, even though this all happened less than five minutes ago, I can't remember any of what we said, except that I said I was going to update the blog (kept true to my word, obviously), and she asked to talk to Dad. So I hung up, then ran upstairs and got on the laptop. And here I am, typing these words.

POST SUMMARY: Loads of people are calling for news about Mom. The surgery went fine, she is recuperating for a few days in the hospital. We talked to Mom, and she sounds relieved that it's over.

One question: Can I have a hug? Either that, or some cold medicine. If ever there was a time to lose consciousness...it's now.

Joe

TUESDAY - this time tomorrow I'll be heavily medicated

Wow, it's Tuesday. Scary, anxious, nervous, wondering what I have forgotten to do... to pass the time and keep my mind of my delectable liquid diet, I've been doing laundry and sorting my underwear drawers. Hey, it's something we never do and it's mindless. Finally got rid of some of those creepies and the ones that you always bury at the bottom of the drawer and only wear on laundry day.
And now, a word to my tumor - you, yes, you, I know you are there and your time is limited. When you are evicted, take any and all of your friends with you. I don't want to see, hear or feel any residual effects from you ever again. I am going to make several healthy changes to make my body a less susceptible host for you. You stay away from my friends, my family and my kids. You have taken enough from us already and I'm through with you. I have in the past and will continue to contribute to research to eliminate you. In the past I sent $ and participated in walks as an insurance policy thinking, "If I walk, write a check, etc., I'll never have to deal with cancer first-hand." So much for that plan.
Yesterday, I was in a funk of what if's I don't even want to enumerate. I had to keep telling myself 95% of what you worry about never happens; it's the 5% you never even think of that blows you out of the water. The positive, strong armored exterior is slipping a bit. It's time to trust someone else to make it right, and I have a hard time relinquishing control and not knowing what comes next. This is the trial of faith. It's still there but there are certain parts of certain prayers I'm struggling with "thy will", "now and at the hour..."
Joe shared at church that he would prefer I not have surgery. Some people were really concerned about this and alerted me. We had a chat about the ramifications of having and not having surgery. What he meant is that he wishes there was an easier way to get rid of this for me - like cutting a really big fart. Me too!
I also had a chat with Nick last night. He seems to be distancing himself from us and I was concerned. His main point was "you'll be closer and not gone as long as when you went to Australia, but I won't get any cool gifts when you get back." True. Just a wiped-out mom for a few weeks.
Dan is harder. We'll chat tonight and tomorrow. He sees me as strong and independent and gets flustered when that image conflicts with his reality. But there are some things that have to be covered, just in case.
OK, back to business. Off to get a relaxation massage and then home to begin pre-surgical processes. Enjoy chewable solid food on my behalf, but don't tell me about it... one more cup of chicken broth and I'll cluck.
Peace, blessings and pray that we hear "we got it all".
Michelle ;-P

Game Plan for Wednesday

I'm on the surgery countdown... 3,2,1 The day of surgery I'll ride with my sister to the hospital and we'll meet our parents there. Dan and I will drop the boys at school first and Dan will go to work that day, at my request, then he is closest to take care of the boys. This is one day I want them with a parent and no one else. My parents and Denise will be at the hospital during surgery from 10:00 on. We actually start the procedure at 1:00 and I should be out 4-5 hours later. My family has 3 contacts to touch base with when I am in recovery - Lucy for church family, Joanne for BRA chix and Dan. Denise plans to drop by and touch base with the boys to answer any questions first-hand on her way home from Seattle. Dan and the boys won't know much until after 6 or so. Monday I'm trying to schedule a massage, Tuesday I'll be in disposed most of the day after 12 p.m., probably won't sleep much trying to arrange last minute things and anxiety over unknown, and Wed. I have a date with Dr. Yum! Looking forward to getting this puppy out, but there is some anxiety/apprehension of not knowing what comes next. You know me, I need to have a plan in place and this time I need to turn it over to a greater power and let it happen. Not easy. I'll probably make a post Tuesday night in the wee hours... Monday will be busy.

Peace and blessings! ;-P
Michelle